27 definitions by old lang guy

1: Double useless, something with no point at all. Comes off of "tits on" any male mammal, since males don't nurse the young; chickens of course don't nurse their young at all, so tits would be especially useless on a rooster.

2: derogatory for tiny or very small breasts
He's not even tits on a boar, at best he's tits on a rooster.

So we had it about worked out when Tits on a Rooster finally showed up, and it all had to have his input.

She's got about the same tits God gave a rooster.
by old lang guy October 29, 2006
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Variant spelling of "run the gantlet." Spelled either way, it's pronounced gauntlet. A gantlet is a double line of people with clubs, whips, tomahawks, fraternity paddles, or other weapons; the poor bastard being punished runs between the lines and everyone hits him as he goes by. Depending on weapons and circumstances, this has been used as an initiation, a test of courage, a way to decide which prisoner to let go (to take the message back that you are holding hostages), or a way to execute someone without making any one person responsible. Often used to describe what the in-crowd does to a noob before accepting him -- "Making him run the gantlet" is a stronger, more violent expression than "making him pay some dues" or "putting him through all the hoops."
The Indians made old Zeke run the gauntlet and when he made it through with just some cuts and a lump on his head, they let him go.

My first year on the job they made me run the gantlet, but after that I was in.

At Kappa Kappa Kappa they make us pledges run the gauntlet for three months, and then on initiation night they make us run a real gantlet; I got through with my ass only getting about five hits, but my roommate fell down and they flayed his pathetic ass.
by old lang guy December 29, 2007
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Checking whether I am a real street thug or just a guy doing the clothes and the talk.
First party out of jail and this little suburban Megan was testin' my gangsta, she only wanted me if I'd really done time.
by old lang guy November 16, 2006
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Stripper or slut-in-a-box worker. Mostly you hear the expression from old gomers nowadays. From the old usage of "sling" to mean delivering or presenting, so in 30s hep jive, waitresses were hash slingers, bartenders were booze slingers, and so on.
Grandma got through the first part of the Depression slinging milk, but the dairy went bankrupt, so she slung hash for a while, till she found out she could make a lot more at the burly-q as a tit slinger.
by old lang guy September 12, 2006
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Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."

"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
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Teacher slang for middle school girls who dress trampy, claim more sexual experience than they really have, and loudly discuss everyone else's clothing, popularity, etc.; mini-sluts tend to intimidate boys their own age but are laughed at by anyone older than they are, especially the high school boys they try to attract. They usually know everything you can learn in a chatroom or by watching television, and nothing else. Noted for their diva-ish tantrums and rigid enforcement of whatever they think the social rules should be.
Teacher 1: Did you have some trouble with that mini-slut Kelly at lunch?

Teacher 2: Yeah, she announced that Wendy dressed like a fucktard virgin and slapped her, because Wendy was wearing a skirt and sweater instead of a belly shirt and pube jeans. Then all the other mini-sluts jumped on Wendy. I think they just wanted to get sent home during high school lunch hour so they could walk by the high school.
by old lang guy September 7, 2006
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In the ancient days of the 1970s, when dinosaurs ruled the earth and men were tiny squeaking rodents (not all that much has changed), a cinderella fuck was getting intercourse from a girl in her dorm room before the curfew when men were thrown out of the women's dorms. If you were really lucky, she'd want to get started early, but a lot of women preferred to start the cinderella fuck at about ten minutes to midnight. The opposite of a "rule of half past four."
"So you getting any?"

"I got about five minutes of a cinderella fuck before the PA announced 'all men off the floor.'"
by old lang guy August 20, 2007
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