old lang guy's definitions
A pair of shorts so short (esp. in the crotch) that it's physically possible to have intercourse with a woman wearing them without having to pull them down.
See any Girls Gone Wild video for plenty of girls in tugovers!
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
by old lang guy August 27, 2010
Get the tugoversmug. Any exceptionally stupid or illiterate phrase found in a pop song.  Particularly if it's then defended or expounded upon in various "meanings of lyrics" sites or in fan writing.  A lot of pop stars were so totally created by parents/managers/agents/etc. that they went straight from a suburban bedroom to the celeb suites without having read a book or talked to a real person on the way, getting all their alleged education from other pop songs and tv.  
The words "fork stuck in the road" originally occurred in a Green Day song, and in a later interview (urban legend has it) the songwriter came up with a long story about how people on journeys would stick a dinner fork into the road to show they'd been there or some such -- apparently being unaware that a dinner fork was originally a "forked spoon", i.e. one that split, the way a forked stick or a forked road splits, and that a "fork in the road" is a place where you make a decision, not a milestone or boundary marker. (I can find no evidence that any such interview occurred, but it seems to be widely believed in).
The words "fork stuck in the road" originally occurred in a Green Day song, and in a later interview (urban legend has it) the songwriter came up with a long story about how people on journeys would stick a dinner fork into the road to show they'd been there or some such -- apparently being unaware that a dinner fork was originally a "forked spoon", i.e. one that split, the way a forked stick or a forked road splits, and that a "fork in the road" is a place where you make a decision, not a milestone or boundary marker. (I can find no evidence that any such interview occurred, but it seems to be widely believed in).
"Hey, somebody should tell Alanis that every time you hear the rolling thunder, it means the lightning already missed you.  And read her a definition of ironic."
"That's like so unfair! She was saying that like, he runs away when there's no reason to! And she was making fun of the way people use the word ironic wrong!"
"Naw, it was just another fork stuck in the road. She's the fork stuck in the road goddess."
"That's like so unfair! She was saying that like, he runs away when there's no reason to! And she was making fun of the way people use the word ironic wrong!"
"Naw, it was just another fork stuck in the road. She's the fork stuck in the road goddess."
by old lang guy September 17, 2008
Get the fork stuck in the roadmug. The big goon you take along when you think the other party may want to get rough (or when you are trying to intimidate them).  Large, ugly, and not prone to smiling, at least not nicely.  Sometimes heard as gorilla up.
I gotta get my security deposit back from that asshole, he was supposed to split it to all the roommates, so I need to take along a gorilla.
If you really need to talk to that one, better gorilla up. Sam'll go along if you ask him.
If you really need to talk to that one, better gorilla up. Sam'll go along if you ask him.
by old lang guy September 17, 2008
Get the gorillamug. 1: Double useless, something with no point at all.  Comes off of "tits on" any male mammal, since males don't nurse the young; chickens of course don't nurse their young at all, so tits would be especially useless on a rooster.
2: derogatory for tiny or very small breasts
2: derogatory for tiny or very small breasts
He's not even tits on a boar, at best he's tits on a rooster.
So we had it about worked out when Tits on a Rooster finally showed up, and it all had to have his input.
She's got about the same tits God gave a rooster.
So we had it about worked out when Tits on a Rooster finally showed up, and it all had to have his input.
She's got about the same tits God gave a rooster.
by old lang guy October 29, 2006
Get the tits on a roostermug. The "private live show" booths at the back of some porn shops and strip clubs, where a girl strips, masturbates, and/or inserts dildos on the lighted side of the glass, while the paying customer jacks off in the dark on the other side of the glass.  A few of them are fronts for prostitution or have  glory holes, but most are just places for a guy to have a quiet private yank on his crank while a pretty girl shows off to him.
Sandy got tired of guys trying to get under the G-string when they tucked in a bill, so she started working at the slut in a box club.
He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.
He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.
by old lang guy September 25, 2006
Get the slut in a boxmug. Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it."  Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident.  It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
Get the monkey fuckmug. The situation in which a one-time, flash in the pan celebrity is desperately or pathetically trying to get back into the news and gossip, if only for a moment.   Comes from the "fifteen minutes of fame" phrase.
by old lang guy January 8, 2009
Get the looking for the sixteenth minutemug.