old lang guy's definitions
This is the last survivor of one of many "Haven't heard anything like that since Grandma (Grandpa) ..." expressions that used to mean someone was overdramatizing their problems. Implied the person commented on was acting like a whiny old person. "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny got her tit caught in the wringer" was what you'd say when, e.g., a coworkers spent the morning complaining about someone having taken the last cup of coffee and not making a fresh pot.
"And everyone forgot to tell me that Awards Day is next week! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me? Doesn't anyone care ...." etc.
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
by old lang guy September 18, 2008
Get the tit in a wringer mug.Jeans so low cut that some pubic hair curls over the belt buckle; thought to be daring and sexy by a certain kind of younger woman.
by old lang guy October 17, 2006
Get the pube jeans mug.The "private live show" booths at the back of some porn shops and strip clubs, where a girl strips, masturbates, and/or inserts dildos on the lighted side of the glass, while the paying customer jacks off in the dark on the other side of the glass. A few of them are fronts for prostitution or have glory holes, but most are just places for a guy to have a quiet private yank on his crank while a pretty girl shows off to him.
Sandy got tired of guys trying to get under the G-string when they tucked in a bill, so she started working at the slut in a box club.
He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.
He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.
by old lang guy September 25, 2006
Get the slut in a box mug.Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
Get the monkey fuck mug.The situation in which a one-time, flash in the pan celebrity is desperately or pathetically trying to get back into the news and gossip, if only for a moment. Comes from the "fifteen minutes of fame" phrase.
by old lang guy January 8, 2009
Get the looking for the sixteenth minute mug.Stripper or slut-in-a-box worker. Mostly you hear the expression from old gomers nowadays. From the old usage of "sling" to mean delivering or presenting, so in 30s hep jive, waitresses were hash slingers, bartenders were booze slingers, and so on.
Grandma got through the first part of the Depression slinging milk, but the dairy went bankrupt, so she slung hash for a while, till she found out she could make a lot more at the burly-q as a tit slinger.
by old lang guy September 18, 2008
Get the tit slinger mug.A pair of shorts so short (esp. in the crotch) that it's physically possible to have intercourse with a woman wearing them without having to pull them down.
See any Girls Gone Wild video for plenty of girls in tugovers!
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
by old lang guy August 27, 2010
Get the tugovers mug.