nicholas d's definitions
Mark: "So how did last night's badminton game go? Looks like you got a fat lip there."
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
by Nicholas D June 27, 2008
Get the 'cock mug."A big fine woman'll make you smile when she pass you
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the have ass mug.A phrase used to describe a stark difference between two things. Similar to day and night, except it implies an improvement of the situation rather than a deterioration.
Democrat: "Wow, I'm so happy that Obama is in the White House now. The difference in our country's leadership has been night and day."
Republican: "Actually it's been day and night. George W. Bush was the man."
Independent: "You're both wrong. It's been night and night. Both parties are corrupt as hell."
Libertarian: "No, I'd say it's been more of dusk and twilight."
Left-leaning moderate: "You're crazy. It's totally been dusk and dawn."
Normal person: "Seriously guys, shut up."
Republican: "Actually it's been day and night. George W. Bush was the man."
Independent: "You're both wrong. It's been night and night. Both parties are corrupt as hell."
Libertarian: "No, I'd say it's been more of dusk and twilight."
Left-leaning moderate: "You're crazy. It's totally been dusk and dawn."
Normal person: "Seriously guys, shut up."
by Nicholas D March 15, 2009
Get the night and day mug.A word that those who might be disparagingly called nigger guys can use to refer to each other, but is extremely offensive if anyone else uses it. Refers to a non-African-American person known for using the N-word, such as Michael Richards, Randy Marsh of "South Park," or Mark Fuhrman from the O.J. trial.
Randy Marsh: "Wassup nigga guy."
Michael Richards: "Not much, nigga guy. Hey, I saw you on 'Wheel of Fortune.' Nobody thought that answer was 'naggers'! Nigga guy please!"
Randy Marsh: "For real my nigga guy."
Actual black guy: "What's up, nigga guys?"
Michael Richards: "Oh no you didn't! You can't say that word! Don't you know that the word 'nigga' legally has to be at least 7 words away from the word 'guy'?"
Actual black guy: "But you just..."
Randy Marsh: "So offensive! Some people are just so ignorant!"
Actual black guy: "You nigga guys - I mean Caucasian gentlemen known for using the N-word - have GOT to be kidding me!"
Michael Richards: "Not much, nigga guy. Hey, I saw you on 'Wheel of Fortune.' Nobody thought that answer was 'naggers'! Nigga guy please!"
Randy Marsh: "For real my nigga guy."
Actual black guy: "What's up, nigga guys?"
Michael Richards: "Oh no you didn't! You can't say that word! Don't you know that the word 'nigga' legally has to be at least 7 words away from the word 'guy'?"
Actual black guy: "But you just..."
Randy Marsh: "So offensive! Some people are just so ignorant!"
Actual black guy: "You nigga guys - I mean Caucasian gentlemen known for using the N-word - have GOT to be kidding me!"
by Nicholas D December 17, 2011
Get the nigga guy mug.Not bona fide; a fluke; a charlatan.
Comes from ESPN's "Fantasy Focus" podcast where Nate "The Say Nay Kid" Ravitz and Matthew "Talented Mr. Roto" Berry play the game "Bona fide or Bonifacio?" In this game, they analyze whether a player has legitimate skills or is just on a lucky hot streak.
Comes from baseball player Emilio Bonifacio, who started off the 2009 season on fire but then faded into obscurity.
Comes from ESPN's "Fantasy Focus" podcast where Nate "The Say Nay Kid" Ravitz and Matthew "Talented Mr. Roto" Berry play the game "Bona fide or Bonifacio?" In this game, they analyze whether a player has legitimate skills or is just on a lucky hot streak.
Comes from baseball player Emilio Bonifacio, who started off the 2009 season on fire but then faded into obscurity.
Dad 1: "Little Johnny had a great first T-Ball game. He got two hits and made a nice play at second base."
Dad 2: "Get out of here. Your kid is totally bonifacio. My kid's team is going to shit all over his bitch-ass team's face next game. You just wait. Then next year when my kid gets to pitch, well haha, let's just say Johnny better not forget his facemask, because he'll be getting a little chin music if you know what I mean. YOUR ASS IS GOIN' DOWN!"
Dad 1: "It's T-Ball, dude, calm down."
Dad 2: "IN YO' FACE MR. BONIFACIO! OH YEAH!"
Dad 2: "Get out of here. Your kid is totally bonifacio. My kid's team is going to shit all over his bitch-ass team's face next game. You just wait. Then next year when my kid gets to pitch, well haha, let's just say Johnny better not forget his facemask, because he'll be getting a little chin music if you know what I mean. YOUR ASS IS GOIN' DOWN!"
Dad 1: "It's T-Ball, dude, calm down."
Dad 2: "IN YO' FACE MR. BONIFACIO! OH YEAH!"
by Nicholas D August 26, 2011
Get the bonifacio mug.Your father.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
Darth Vader: "Luke, I am the old man."
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
by Nicholas D February 3, 2009
Get the the old man mug."Bitch, get off the wood, you're no good
There goes the neighborhood hooker (slut!)
Go ahead and keep your drawers
Givin up the claps and who needs applause
At a time like this, pop the coochie and ya dead
The bitch is a Miami Hurricane head
Sprung, niggas call her 'lips and lungs'
Nappy dugout, get the fuck out
Cause women like you gets no respect
Bitch, you better run a check"
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Kevin: "Man, I got the best head ever last night."
Rasheed: "Who was the ho?"
Kevin: "Some crack-smoking chickenhead from The Brook. She was hella broke down, but for a couple of rocks, she hoovered the shit out of my dick."
Rasheed: "For real? What was her name?"
Kevin: "Marqueesha. Marqueesha Johnson."
Rasheed: "The fuck? Break yo' self, fool! That's my sister!" *pulls out gun and points it at Kevin's head*
Kevin: "Sorry man, I had no idea. Just chill."
Rasheed: "Haha! Just messing with you, man." *puts gun away* "My sister gets around like a fucking record. She's been smoking pole since she could walk. Best get yo' shit checked out though. Good chance you got the clap."
Kevin: "Good one. I thought you were really gonna spark metal on my ass. Guess that explains why it itches."
There goes the neighborhood hooker (slut!)
Go ahead and keep your drawers
Givin up the claps and who needs applause
At a time like this, pop the coochie and ya dead
The bitch is a Miami Hurricane head
Sprung, niggas call her 'lips and lungs'
Nappy dugout, get the fuck out
Cause women like you gets no respect
Bitch, you better run a check"
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Kevin: "Man, I got the best head ever last night."
Rasheed: "Who was the ho?"
Kevin: "Some crack-smoking chickenhead from The Brook. She was hella broke down, but for a couple of rocks, she hoovered the shit out of my dick."
Rasheed: "For real? What was her name?"
Kevin: "Marqueesha. Marqueesha Johnson."
Rasheed: "The fuck? Break yo' self, fool! That's my sister!" *pulls out gun and points it at Kevin's head*
Kevin: "Sorry man, I had no idea. Just chill."
Rasheed: "Haha! Just messing with you, man." *puts gun away* "My sister gets around like a fucking record. She's been smoking pole since she could walk. Best get yo' shit checked out though. Good chance you got the clap."
Kevin: "Good one. I thought you were really gonna spark metal on my ass. Guess that explains why it itches."
by Nicholas D June 3, 2012
Get the lips and lungs mug.