nicholas d's definitions

Barry Bonds*

A baseball player who, as of the end of the 2007 season, had a record 762* home runs.

In 2007, Barry Bonds* hit his 756th* home run, passing Hank Aaron for the all time record*. He also holds the single season record* of 73* home runs. Previous single-season record-holders include Mark McGwire*, Roger Maris, and Babe Ruth.

Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."

by Nicholas D January 16, 2008

adjunk

Derogatory term for adjuncts, ingredients added to low-end beer to lower production costs. Examples are rice (used by Budweiser and Coors) and corn syrup (used by Miller). Adjunk detracts from the malty flavor and makes the final product more watery and more drinkable for people who don't like beer, yet less drinkable for people who do.

Steve: "Want something to drink?"
Kevin: "Got any beer?"
Steve: "I've got Budweiser, Miller, and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - which one do you want?"
Kevin: "WHAAAAAAT??? Are you crazy? Miller is cornier than a Color Me Badd video and Bud is more ricey than a tricked-out Honda Civic! Give me the Dogfish Head! You can drink that watery adjunk yourself!"

by Nicholas D March 28, 2008

five guys burgers and fries

A heterosexual female or homosexual male who is both obese and promiscuous. “Five guys” refers to the servicing of many men, and “burgers and fries” refers to all the fatty food they eat.

Brenda really makes the rounds whenever she’s not stuffing down cheese and charcuterie plates. She’s no stranger to the biscuit tin and no stranger to the sausage bin. Five guys burgers and fries!

by Nicholas D February 23, 2022

take to the house

To throughly own or school someone. A way to measure whether someone has been taken to the house is whether it would be appropriate to inquire of the person in question: "How's your hole?" If asking such a question would indeed be befitting of the situation, then that person has indeed been taken to the house.

A heart-warming children's story to demonstrate the meaning of "take to the house":
Billy's dad told him that he was taking him to Disneyland for the day and told him to close his eyes. After a half hour of driving, his dad instructed him to open his eyes again. Billy realized he was not at Disneyland, but instead back at his house again. His dad then yelled, "Slizzam!!! Got you, sucker! No Disneyland for you, you little bitch!" and started laughing hysterically. Billy then began to cry as his dad taunted him, "Wah wah!!! You little crybaby! I'll give you something to cry about!" Looks like little Billy got taken to the house on that one.

Also:
Fred Weis got taken to the house in the 2000 Olympics when Vince Carter simultaneously dunked over him and teabagged him, shoving his nuts directly into Fred's face.

by Nicholas D December 24, 2007

run up and squeeze

To approach and shoot somebody.

"I'll run up and squeeze and put a hole in ya." - 50 Cent, "Places to Go"

Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."

by Nicholas D October 1, 2009

hittle ball

A hypothetical form of the game wiffle ball (also spelled whiffle ball) that involves players with skill. Used in insults. Similar effect as minton or goodminton in the game of badminton.

John: "Ok, throw it. This one's going to be right in my wheelhouse and it's heading straight over the fence."
(Bill pitches ball, John whiffs)
Bill: "That's strike three - sit your ass down!"
John: "Whatever man, you got lucky there. I'm going to crush it next time I get up."
Bill: "You know, this game used to be called hittle ball before you started playing."

by Nicholas D March 10, 2009

on some (blank) shit

To be currently engaged in (blank) activity, or behaving in the manner of (blank).

NOTE: The exception to the grammatical syntax of this saying is when the word in the blank is "bullshit" or another word ending in "shit." In such a case the second "shit" would be redundant, so it is omitted, and the saying is simply, "on some bullshit."

"Now I ain't even on no rap shit no more.
I'm on some fuckin' you up shit when I see you.
And I will see you too."
-Eminem, "Girls"

Translation: "From the current point on, creating rap music is not not no longer my top priority. On the contrary, I will primarily concern myself with causing you physical harm the next time we encounter each other. As a footnote, rest assured that I such an encounter will indeed occur."
Notice the speaker's cunning usage of a triple negative in the first 'on some (blank) shit' which is meant to confuse the listener.

"But you on some bullshit, nigga.
This yo' last beer.
Get the fuck off my dick
And tell yo' bitch to bring her ass here."
-D12, "Blow My Buzz"

Translation: "However, my African-American acquaintance, the manner in which you are conducting yourself is not appropriate. Since you appear to be intoxicated, I will see to it that you do not consume another fermented malted barley beverage. I demand that you cease your excessive flattery and encourage your female friend to approach me."

"On some real shit.
I gotta be the best.
I gotta stay fresh.
I represent the West."
-Daz, "On Some Real Shit"

Translation: "That which I am about to disclose, I will disclose in absolute honesty. I must achieve the absolute pinnacle of my profession. I must remain stylish and continue to produce original material. I consider myself to be a personification of the entire Western region of the United States."

by Nicholas D October 21, 2009