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nicholas d's definitions

shattuck

1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.
Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."
by Nicholas D October 14, 2019
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shamshit

Dude: "Do you know why they call it shampoo?"
Bro: "No."
Dude: "Because it sounds a lot better than shamshit!"
Bro: "Oh, that's a good reason."
by Nicholas D May 28, 2018
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nannarchy

A combination nanny state and anarchy: A government that cracks down on trivial everyday things while letting actual criminals run rampant, failing to prosecute serious crimes. Example: San Francisco 2020 under DA Chesa Boudin.
John was caught breaking into fifty cars, dealing crack to kids, and stabbing a cop. The San Francisco DA let him off with $1 bail for these silly but harmless shenanigans. But then they caught him drinking through a plastic straw rather than a compostable one while celebrating his release, and sentenced him to 20 years in maximum security prison for committing such a serious felony. Just another victim of the nannarchy...
by Nicholas D January 31, 2020
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wokewash

To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.
Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”

Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
by Nicholas D March 1, 2020
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personperson

The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.
Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
by Nicholas D March 21, 2020
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Toob

To masturbate on a Zoom call. Progressive form: Toobin. Past tense: Toob'd.
The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2020
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rone zone

A place where you’re at high risk of catching the coronavirus (short form: rona or rone).
Bro 1: “Hey brah wanna come to the Rose Garden party where we celebrate that Supreme Court lady biting the dust?”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”
by Nicholas D October 9, 2020
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