Definitions by nicholas d

smack it 

To masturbate. A synonym of spank it. "It" refers to the penis.

Brandon: "Dude, want to head over to Pat O'Briens and catch the Sox game?"
Mac: "Uh...maybe later. Your sister just put up a new Facebook album full of spring break bikini pics, and she's looking pretty damn good. I'm just gonna hang out here and smack it to that a few times."
Brandon: "What??? Oh no you didn't! The only smacking that's going to happen is me smacking you up!"

smack it by Nicholas D March 9, 2009

pee on your nuts

A figurative term meaning to have a small penis. Usually used as an insult.

Tough guy #1: "I can bench press 275. What's up now?"
Tough guy #2: "Whatever man, I can clean 200!"
Tough guy #1: "Well I can do 20 pullups!"
Normal guy: "All right guys, quit arguing about whose dick is smaller. At the end of the day, you both still pee on your nuts."

pee on your nuts by Nicholas D March 9, 2009

peter out 

1) To lose intensity or dwindle in strength.
2) An exposed penis (peter).

Matt: "I bet I can streak through downtown with my peter out for two hours without getting arrested."
Frank: "I doubt it. After running for a half hour or so, you'll probably peter out and then the cops will catch you."

peter out by Nicholas D March 9, 2009

nap 

To steal or borrow without permission. Comes from "kidnap," which means stealing a kid.

Al Gore: "Governor Bush, you are not going to nap this election!"
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"

Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."

nap by Nicholas D February 27, 2009

jukebomb 

To completely kill the mood at a bar by playing music on the jukebox that is unbefitting of the establishment, such as country at a trendy urban lounge, hardcore rap at a West Virginia honky tonk, or Celine Dion just about anywhere. Will often result in a mass exodus of people, costing the bar hundreds if not thousands of dollars in revenue, and really piss off the bar owner.

Jerry totally jukebombed The Playaz Club on Saturday night by queuing up 20 consecutive Michael Bolton songs. The place was packed before it started, but by the end of the third Bolton song, it was so quiet that you could almost hear crickets chirping.

jukebomb by Nicholas D February 27, 2009

what's up now 

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.

Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"

what's up now by Nicholas D February 26, 2009

Scumdog Million-hairs 

A nickname for former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, who was impeached for attempting to accept bribes to fill Barack Obama's empty U.S. Senate seat. Originated on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and is a play on the title of the movie "Slumdog Millionaire," which was popular at the same time as the Blagojevich scandal. The "Million-hairs" part of the name refers to the impressive amount of hair on Blagojevich's head.

Senate candidate: "I'd like to express interest in President-elect Obama's vacant senate seat. I feel that my qualifications are right for the job."
Blagojevich: "What? Tell it to my pants pockets! Let's see...I'll give you the seat if you give me $1 million in unmarked benjamins, get a hot dog named after me at The Wiener's Circle in Chicago, and brush my hair for an hour every morning for the next year."
Senate candidate: "Forget it, Scumdog Million-hairs, I do not bow to corruption!"
Blagojevich: "Really? Are you serious? You're a politician. Come on."
Senate candidate: "All right. Take out the hair-brushing part and we've got a deal."

Scumdog Million-hairs by Nicholas D February 23, 2009