trepidacious

how a fuckwit says nervous

first person: oh gee you know I dont really think I want to jump..... the water is to far down
second person: dont be so fucking trepidacious all the time! just do something mad!!

by muffmirkin February 14, 2019

bumtar

what your mum would call "a wee jobbie in your knickers".

Mum: Lionel, how many times.... rinse if you have left a wee jobbie in your knickers
Lionel: Mum! bumtar is just another fact of life!

by muffmirkin November 13, 2020

insmelligence

the sniff test

Girl in shower: "honey can you pass me a clean pair of panties?"
Boy: "how do I know which ones are clean?"
Girl in shower: "oh dehh... just use your insmelligence".

by muffmirkin April 27, 2019

fecal position

what the squatty potty is all about

boyfriend: whats the matter sweetheart, you seem tense and bound up over something
girlfriend: oh, I am! I am just so constipated.... and I just want to get it out
boyfriend: no problem - get set in the fecal position and be patient. think good thoughts, you'll be ok

by muffmirkin May 23, 2019

Carol

what you call a Karen at Christmas

Carol: ok the turkey is dry again
Leon - goes out for cigarette.,..
Carol: oh great. fuck the bird and stink like shit!

by muffmirkin July 21, 2020

Carol

What you call a Karen at Christmas

Carol: ok this turkey meat is dry
Leon – goes outside for a cigarette….
Carol: oh great, you fucked the bird now your gonna stink like shit.

by muffmirkin July 21, 2020

air and hair

going to the toilet and doing a big strong fart instead of a shit

home owner: hey bro what was that all about, i hope you dint mess up the toilet too bad
good friend grimacing: nah bra - just air and hair is all

by muffmirkin May 21, 2019