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Hazzer

Yiddish term for traif (non kosher) food. Mostly used to refer to ham and bacon.
Tom :Yo Yoni you want a bacon Sarnie?
Yoni: Yeah man pass the hazzer!
by mrperson123 January 22, 2020
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Fapentines Day

When you're alone on Valentines Day so you basically spend the day fapping to Porn.

Happy Fapentines Day!
Scenario 1
Marko: So Bryan you got any plans for Valentines Day?
Bryan: It's another Fapentines Day for me Bro. Jen text dumped 5 days ago. So my plans are being holed up in my room and fapping away.

Scenario 2
Anne: Hey Alice you manage to find a date for Valentines?

Alice: Sadly no, It's Fapentines Day for me. I've already bought my lube and charged up my vibrator. Gonna scrounge porn hub later.
by mrperson123 February 14, 2020
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Half Kosher

When a Jew will eat non Kosher meat like beef and chicken, but won't eat a non kosher animal like pork or prawns. Something secular Jews do as they think it's better than fully breaking kosher, when in reality there's no difference.
Don:Hey Emily would you like some of my ham and cheese sandwich?

Emily: No Don! I can't have that! It's not kosher!
Don: Erm, Emily you do know that sandwich you're eating is non kosher chicken right?
Emily: Yeah but I eat non kosher meat, just not non kosher animals.
Don: So you're half kosher.
by mrperson123 February 14, 2020
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Jewmer

Jewish Boomer,
Has all the annoying traits of a regular boomer but has the added overbearingness and high expectations of Jewish Parents.
Ex1
Dave: You millennials are so lazy! When I was your age I was married, had a house and a career! The reason you're all still living with us is because you don't want to work hard!
Jonny: Actually housing prices nowadays are extortionate, most jobs pay's lousy.
Dave: It's your fault for wasting your bar mitzvah money on tut!

Jonny: Like you didn't waste yours on a fancy brief case!

Dave: That's not the same! It was different then!

Jonny: Exactly! Housing was affordable and a degree got you a job!

Dave: No! Your generation are lazy! If you worked hard and didn't waste money on your luxuries you'd have your own place!

Jonny: Because you'd totally give up your daily Starbucks and going out for dinner regularly to live in a crappy room. Pfft Jewmers!

Ex 2
Sharon: Why are you so fatutzed Hannah! You millenials are such snow flakes!

Hanna: I'm fatutzed because you keep calling my boyfriend a shmecky yok!

Sharon: Just be glad you're allowed to date a goy! When I was a kid my bubba slagged off my boyfriend for being reform! Said I should be with a frum boy and I was a disgrace, you know what I did? I listened to what she had to say and I apologised, you know why? Because I respected her! I didn't get offended like your generation does!

Hanna: That's abuse! That's not being thick skinned, that's you letting your grandma bully you under the guise of "respect". You Jewmers call us snow flakes, when frankly you were abused and were taught it was normal.
by mrperson123 June 25, 2021
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