mr cunninglinguist's definitions
Toilettiquette...When visiting the restroom out on a date, or at a dinner party, you take a lightning fast crap to fool your date or fellow diners into thinking you only needed a piss by being in the can for such a short time.
a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting
a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting
I really needed to take a shit but my date had arrived, so I told her I was just 'nipping to the bathroom to freshen up' and took a quick 'shit in a piss time', so as not to keep her waiting
by mr Cunninglinguist October 26, 2012
Get the shit in a piss timemug. East Midlands slang term... to claim immunity from something, cross index and middle fingers of both hands and hold them up, and say "I've got Kings", it should be enough to get you off the hook or out of doing a chore
the opposite of "Dibs" or "Bags"
the opposite of "Dibs" or "Bags"
4 men at the bar in the Pub...
1st man: 'whos turn is it to get the beers in? I got the last ones in.'
2nd man: "Not me - I've got Kings!" (holding up crossed fingers)
3rd man: "Kings!" (also holding up crossed fingers)
1st man points to 4th man and says "...odd lines mate...they've got Kings... go get the beer!"
1st man: 'whos turn is it to get the beers in? I got the last ones in.'
2nd man: "Not me - I've got Kings!" (holding up crossed fingers)
3rd man: "Kings!" (also holding up crossed fingers)
1st man points to 4th man and says "...odd lines mate...they've got Kings... go get the beer!"
by Mr Cunninglinguist June 25, 2013
Get the Kings!mug. by mr Cunninglinguist April 1, 2013
Get the JESUSmug. Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .
Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
Get the shit in my hands and clapmug. yet another name for sexual intercourse, derived from the British word for Boloney (Polony) which sounds like 'Pony' British Polony is a curled red cooked meat sausage available from the butchers. Pony Trekking- a popular equestrian activity.
On observing a saddle sore woman at a show jumping event:
man 1:"look at her, she can hardly walk'
man 2 :'I bet she spent the whole night polony trekking'
man 1:"look at her, she can hardly walk'
man 2 :'I bet she spent the whole night polony trekking'
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
Get the POLONY TREKKINGmug. a guitar player with an enormous ego, or is very annoying/rude/petulant the word is a portmanteau of the words 'Guitar' and 'Arsehole'
not legally permitted to name anyone in particular but most 'guitar gods' are Guitarsoles at some point in their careers, I imagine.
not legally permitted to name anyone in particular but most 'guitar gods' are Guitarsoles at some point in their careers, I imagine.
After the gratuitous 22 minute solo in which several Stratocasters were burned, knocked over and smashed, he raised his arms in mocking triumph to the crowd - of 9. what a wanker, He's such a Guitarsole its unreal, its only the pub down the road, not the Hammy Odeon!
by Mr Cunninglinguist October 5, 2012
Get the Guitarsolemug. Noun. a name for an extremely overweight person, someone who would have to 'pay twice' to get in the cinema, ride a bus etc.
Man 1 "you've put some weight on since I last saw you you've turned into a proper 'Michelin Man'"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
Get the PAY TWICEmug.