fake survey

What happens when you call someone to ask them out, but you get cold feet when they pick up the phone (or worse, when someone else picks up). Just pretend you are doing a survey to get out of the call. DO NOT ATTEMPT AN ACCENT.

Jerry: Another woman already? What did you say to her?
Liz: I did a fake survey!
Jerry: You did the fake survey!?
Liz: I know! I'm not over him!

by montypark February 28, 2009

spectrophilia

1. Sexual attraction to ghosts.

2. Engaging in sexual activity with a ghost.

Tom is known to have had some spectrophilia in the past.

by montypark January 18, 2009

Frankenmom

A middle-aged, fake boobed, fake-tanning, brazillian waxing, navel-piercing, reality-TV-obsessed woman who dresses like a slutty 12-year old and hangs out with her kids' friends, clinging to a fabled youth that was never hers to have. She takes all the wrong lessons from youth culture (and pop culture in general), with no ethical or aesthetic scruples whatsoever.

Most likely a divorcee. If not, she's trying desperately to "spice up" her marriage. Almost exclusively a product of the 2000s decade, found most commonly in the US and UK.

I kept trying to talk to that girl but this frankenmom kept moving in on me. Super creepy.

by montypark May 12, 2010

Billy Crystal's Bane

The idea that causes men to accept any voluntary female attention as an invitation to start a relationship, as described in When Harry Met Sally.

The Bane is a social contract based on the idea that no woman would otherwise befriend you.

I think this girl likes me, but I'm worried about Billy Crystal's Bane.

by montypark March 31, 2009

Champion of Brotherhood

Someone who has exemplified the honor code of brotherhood.

Stephen Colbert is an honorary Champion of Brotherhood.

by montypark January 18, 2009

Bedroom Racist

Someone whose sexual attraction favors a particular race or ethnicity. Since this is a product of product of personal taste, it cannot accurately be called bigotry.

"You and your green eyes; You're such a bedroom racist."

by montypark March 04, 2009

Upward Spiraling Pigtail

A donut move by which a car, already moving straight ahead at high speed, begins to spin while still moving in the same general direction.

"This is the upward spiraling pigtail!"

"Why is it called that?"

"I don't know!"

by montypark March 14, 2009