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michael foolsley's definitions

pussy washer

a bidet !

pussy washer was heard stated by a "mentally challenged" individual at a construction site
in france, provision is made for cleansing body parts (buttle) via bidet, or pussy washer !
in 'merca, WE wouldn't be caught DEAD 'cleaning up' on a pussy washer !
lesser "deforestation" using a pussy washer, than MILES of "bowel towel" !!
by michael foolsley April 29, 2021
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wearing it

get fat -booting (eating) lots of high fat foods and imaging them turning straight to fat and taking up shop ('residence') on and around ones' body parts.
that coconut cream pie is better than sex!, but i'm going to end up wearing it!

i love me some pie! (pizza) but i'll just end up wearing it!!
by michael foolsley December 5, 2009
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beat the crack

arising well BEFORE dawn!!

NOT a sado-masochistic term alluding to abuse of 'prime parts'
but a reference to being 'awake and vertical' LONG BEFORE the first glint of light appears at the horizon!!
i had to beat the crack to do electrical work, which resulted in me "sleeping in" till 6:30A on week-ends!!

had to beat the crack to catch that flight!!

beating the crack is kind of a criminal situation!!
by michael foolsley September 7, 2011
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shield those tits

STT a female crossing arms in front of breasts if cold or vulnerable. school girls (pre-backpacks) used to block glands with books
that woman looks cold! yeah: STT! Shield those tits!
by michael foolsley December 7, 2009
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mental neutral

unable to focus on any one thing. forgetting what is 3" from your nose. not specific to old people.

unable to get the mind 'in gear'
i was gonna look up this word but my stupid mind went into mental neutral.

had sump'm i needed to do but now my minds' in mental neutral
by michael foolsley November 22, 2009
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sam and allen

7-11, the "convenient" store!

once, probably on a construction site, a mush mouth guy spoke to me in a slurred (possibly drunken ?) drawl

"if you go to the SAM and ALLEN, would you git me a shit sammich ??" - i promptly 'filed away' this english prof's words for future use !
git your salt, sugar, beer, and cigarettes @ the SAM and ALLEN !
by michael foolsley September 11, 2023
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scary quiet

not hearing expected 'normal' noise from a situation.

NOTHING scares parents more than when they don't hear any noise emanating from wherever their punk offspring are 'playing'. they'll be up in a 'heartbeat' to check, upon hearing too much quiet!!

mysterious lack of usual 'normal' sonic pollution
its' scary quiet today! my townhouse neighbor the heavy metal drummer that drives the over-powered land yacht must not be around!!

it was scary quiet in the jones' play room, the industrial production agent went in to check!

it was scary quiet until the drunken "rednecks" showed up and began loudly pontificating!!
by michael foolsley October 27, 2012
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