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michael foolsley's definitions

clinical pizza oven

cremation "retort" or 'oven'

looking very much like a pizza oven, this definition makes sense!...-it just makes sense!!
went from my job at dad john's, directly to the cremation guys to see them put my poor dead dad in the clinical pizza oven!!

john wasn't big on things crawling on him, and opted for the clinical pizza oven!!
by michael foolsley September 21, 2011
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poons

imaginary female currency *one must earn certain amounts of 'poons' to be eligible for a 'taste' ie: doing of dirt, being responsible, and/or beast of burden, walking of the line, good little boy, being sensitive... -all these things earn one poons!
john did the laundry, cooking, cleaning AND rubbed marthas' feet...he had earned enough poons for a taste!
julie was going to have to 'put out'!! -steve had earned more than enough poons for a taste!!
by michael foolsley December 8, 2009
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beauty fart

a perfect or divine fart! -wonderful sonic aura, beautiful bouquet, glorious massage, perfect length, specimen that 'has it all'!! -the "golden child" of farts!!
i blew one that was so perfectly divine i almost got on my knees and prayed! -it was a true beauty fart

megan blew a beauty fart that i would have embraced and kissed, had it been a tactile entity!!
by michael foolsley January 8, 2010
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currency ratio

ratio of palms needing 'greased' compared to the amount of palms 'offering' currency.
the currency ratio is killing me! everyone and his/her relatives is/are putting the 'touch' on me for money, but very few (IF ANY!) are giving me a road-map to the 'money trees' -ie: many empty palms to my right, extremely few to my left helping to facilitate the transfer!

SUGGESTION: for me to give YOU money BEGINS with me having a source for the money in the first place!! (hint hint!!)

this unequal currency ratio is eating my ass up! VERY DIFFICULT for me to save both myself AND the world, with such a lopsided income/outgo ratio!!
by michael foolsley August 8, 2010
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bubble wrap crack

popping bubble wrap bubbles and unable to stop until all the bubbles are spent. -enjoying the assorted 'crack' sounds as well. supremely addictive!!
that bitch wouldn't stop with the bubble wrap crack...i was about to get my .45!!

whole lot o' goodness wit dat bubble wrap crack!
by michael foolsley February 12, 2010
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pick up sticks

attract "boner owners" (also a children's game)
you can't look that good and not pick up sticks ! , it's a natural LAW !

she lost 35lbs and was surprised to find herself again able to pick up sticks !
by michael foolsley April 1, 2021
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apply an oral vacuum

a 'polite' insult from the 'class' of 'polite', verbose insults
won't you apply an oral vacuum to my rectum?

let me cordially invite you to apply an oral vacuum to my crank

couldn't you kindly administer an oral vacuum to my jonk?
by michael foolsley November 23, 2009
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