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michael foolsley's definitions

like a jewel

something that cannot be improved on! -another version is 'shines like gold' (or shining)
i checked for my potential definition in urban dictionary and abandoned it, three different people had put it like a jewel, i couldn't beat that!
he handled that business deal like a jewel
her bare glands gave good air; like jewels
that emerald shined like a jewel
that tool worked like a jewel
by michael foolsley February 2, 2010
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pick up sticks

attract "boner owners" (also a children's game)
you can't look that good and not pick up sticks ! , it's a natural LAW !

she lost 35lbs and was surprised to find herself again able to pick up sticks !
by michael foolsley April 1, 2021
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apply an oral vacuum

a 'polite' insult from the 'class' of 'polite', verbose insults
won't you apply an oral vacuum to my rectum?

let me cordially invite you to apply an oral vacuum to my crank

couldn't you kindly administer an oral vacuum to my jonk?
by michael foolsley November 23, 2009
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bubble wrap crack

popping bubble wrap bubbles and unable to stop until all the bubbles are spent. -enjoying the assorted 'crack' sounds as well. supremely addictive!!
that bitch wouldn't stop with the bubble wrap crack...i was about to get my .45!!

whole lot o' goodness wit dat bubble wrap crack!
by michael foolsley February 12, 2010
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keys to the kingdom

being given the 'green light' for sex! -bliss for men and even liked by a few women!!
judy gave me the 'keys to the kingdom' then made a mess of me!!
she gave him the keys to the kingdom, his joy was indescribable!
she knew she was going to 'get off'!! he gave her the keys to the kingdom!
by michael foolsley December 30, 2009
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smoke out the dogs

allowing a turd rider (tailgater) to pass you, become the 'point man', zoom out in front attract the police and get the speeding ticket!! (not specific to males!!)
create a diversion to force concealed 'officials' to break cover
i'm going to pull over and let this shit-ass smoke out the dogs
by michael foolsley December 16, 2009
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cage time

john ended up doing cage time for smoking boo
by michael foolsley November 27, 2009
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