Brewjob

Having to put one's mouth over the top of a newly-opened beer bottle/can in order to prevent overflow. Looks quite like a clumsy blowjob, hence the name.

My beer started to froth up, so I had to give in and give it a brewjob.

by matrixbadger October 18, 2009

Shredder Pecker

Someone who is intensely ugly, with a face that looks like they attempted to peck a shredder - hence their face looks awful. Can be easily shorted to just "Shredder"

Phil: Hey Joe, check out that really ugly chick!
Joe: Fuck me, she's a right shredder pecker!

Joe: Phil you are so gay
Phil: Fuck off you shredder!

by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

Deceased (noun)

From the verb "To give someone a deceased". This is where you insult someone by shouting the name of one of their dead relatives - a very harsh insult used only when extremely provoked.

Uses of deceased (noun):

Scott: Seriously Tom was bugging the shit out of me last night
Andy: What did you do?
Scott: I gave the fucker a deceased

Tom: Scott you are such a lanky prick
Scott: Shut the fuck up SUE!
Andy: Oooh! You just got given a deceased!

by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

brick hard

Same as well 'ard, rock hard. Used to describe someone who is likely to come out victorious in a combat situation. Also used to boost one's ego.
Pronounced "brick 'ard"

Phil: Hey, what is he doing?
Chav 1: Don't mess, he's brick hard!

Jenny: Wow! How did you do that?
Phil: Oh you know me, I'm brick 'ard

by matrixbadger December 04, 2007

farting cockroach

Slang for moped, used to describe the sound made by a moped and other small vehicles, that seems to sound like a cockroach farting - if indeed cockroaches do fart.

*Chav drives past on moped*
Person 1: Oh look, a farting cockroach

by matrixbadger December 04, 2007

Crumpet Feet

Used to describe someone who walks strangely, like someone with pingu feet. Offensive as it accuses the other person of being retarded, and acting like it.

Phil: Have you seen Dave walking?
Adam: Yeah, that mofo has crumpet feet

Dave: Phil you can be such a prick sometimes
Phil: Shut it, crumpet feet!

by matrixbadger February 19, 2009

Speech Game

At a function (wedding/formal dinner etc) one person writes a set of predictable words/phrases that could be used in the speech/speeches that are about to be given on a piece of paper, rips the paper up and hands a word/phrase to every person at the table. When such words or phrases are used in the speech, the person with that piece of paper has to drink/down an alcoholic beverage.

This is hilarious if everyone takes part and great for lightening up a dull speech.

Best Man: I'm so glad that you two are going to be so HAPPY together
Person 1: Who's got 'Happy'?
Person 2: Me
Person 1: CONSUME!
*Person 2 drinks*
Person 1: I love the Speech Game!

by matrixbadger July 27, 2009