matrixbadger's definitions

Brewjob

Having to put one's mouth over the top of a newly-opened beer bottle/can in order to prevent overflow. Looks quite like a clumsy blowjob, hence the name.

My beer started to froth up, so I had to give in and give it a brewjob.

by matrixbadger October 18, 2009

farting cockroach

Slang for moped, used to describe the sound made by a moped and other small vehicles, that seems to sound like a cockroach farting - if indeed cockroaches do fart.

*Chav drives past on moped*
Person 1: Oh look, a farting cockroach

by matrixbadger December 31, 2007

brick hard

Same as well 'ard, rock hard. Used to describe someone who is likely to come out victorious in a combat situation. Also used to boost one's ego.
Pronounced "brick 'ard"

Phil: Hey, what is he doing?
Chav 1: Don't mess, he's brick hard!

Jenny: Wow! How did you do that?
Phil: Oh you know me, I'm brick 'ard

by matrixbadger December 31, 2007

Novelling

From the verb "To Novel". This is where you have intercourse with someone (generally a woman using doggy style or a man) whilst reading out extracts from Charles Dickens.

Phil: I indulged in a bit of novelling with Susie last night
Adam: Really!? What's she into?
Phil: It has to be said, the bitch loves "A Tale of Two Cities"

by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

Deceased (noun)

From the verb "To give someone a deceased". This is where you insult someone by shouting the name of one of their dead relatives - a very harsh insult used only when extremely provoked.

Uses of deceased (noun):

Scott: Seriously Tom was bugging the shit out of me last night
Andy: What did you do?
Scott: I gave the fucker a deceased

Tom: Scott you are such a lanky prick
Scott: Shut the fuck up SUE!
Andy: Oooh! You just got given a deceased!

by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

Shredder Pecker

Someone who is intensely ugly, with a face that looks like they attempted to peck a shredder - hence their face looks awful. Can be easily shorted to just "Shredder"

Phil: Hey Joe, check out that really ugly chick!
Joe: Fuck me, she's a right shredder pecker!

Joe: Phil you are so gay
Phil: Fuck off you shredder!

by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

Mr Poostripes

A really smelly, runny shit. Named "Poostripes" because of his messy and diarrhoea-like qualities.

Phil: Holy shit! I just took a messy dump!
Adam: Let's call him Mr Poostripes!

by matrixbadger February 17, 2009