18 definition by matrixbadger

Same as well 'ard, rock hard. Used to describe someone who is likely to come out victorious in a combat situation. Also used to boost one's ego.
Pronounced "brick 'ard"
Phil: Hey, what is he doing?
Chav 1: Don't mess, he's brick hard!

Jenny: Wow! How did you do that?
Phil: Oh you know me, I'm brick 'ard
by matrixbadger December 04, 2007

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Used to describe someone who walks strangely, like someone with pingu feet. Offensive as it accuses the other person of being retarded, and acting like it.
Phil: Have you seen Dave walking?
Adam: Yeah, that mofo has crumpet feet

Dave: Phil you can be such a prick sometimes
Phil: Shut it, crumpet feet!
by matrixbadger February 19, 2009

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From the verb "To Novel". This is where you have intercourse with someone (generally a woman using doggy style or a man) whilst reading out extracts from Charles Dickens.
Phil: I indulged in a bit of novelling with Susie last night
Adam: Really!? What's she into?
Phil: It has to be said, the bitch loves "A Tale of Two Cities"
by matrixbadger February 16, 2009

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At a function (wedding/formal dinner etc) one person writes a set of predictable words/phrases that could be used in the speech/speeches that are about to be given on a piece of paper, rips the paper up and hands a word/phrase to every person at the table. When such words or phrases are used in the speech, the person with that piece of paper has to drink/down an alcoholic beverage.
This is hilarious if everyone takes part and great for lightening up a dull speech.
Best Man: I'm so glad that you two are going to be so HAPPY together
Person 1: Who's got 'Happy'?
Person 2: Me
Person 1: CONSUME!
*Person 2 drinks*
Person 1: I love the Wedding Speech Game!
by matrixbadger July 27, 2009

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At a function (wedding/formal dinner etc) one person writes a set of predictable words/phrases that could be used in the speech/speeches that are about to be given on a piece of paper, rips the paper up and hands a word/phrase to every person at the table. When such words or phrases are used in the speech, the person with that piece of paper has to drink/down an alcoholic beverage.

This is hilarious if everyone takes part and great for lightening up a dull speech.
Best Man: I'm so glad that you two are going to be so HAPPY together
Person 1: Who's got 'Happy'?
Person 2: Me
Person 1: CONSUME!
*Person 2 drinks*
Person 1: I love the Speech Game!
by matrixbadger July 27, 2009

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When everything goes wrong for one day, from the HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm" - the adventures of Larry David, where he is constantly getting himself into shit.
When all the problems one inadvertently causes come back to haunt them.
Example 1:
Phil: WTF? You just spilt my pint, you muppet!
Jonathan: Sorry, I'm having a curb moment

Example 2:
*Woman slaps Phil*
Phil: Shit, I'm having a curb moment today. I didn't mean to offend her
by matrixbadger February 19, 2009

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A fat person, self-explanatory. Somewhat like salad dodger
Phil was walking down the street and caught sight of a little boy, he noticed he was somewhat of a fat little fuck... a real cake chaser.
by matrixbadger July 31, 2009

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