mark shackelford's definitions

anal tissue

A soft tissue on a roll engineered primarily for wiping feces off a person's anus. It is also frequently substituted for facial tissue.

<wife> How did your day go?
<hubby> Not good.
<wife> What happened?
<hubby> I took a dump at work before I realized we were out of anal tissue.
<wife> That's terrible. So what did you do?
<hubby> I used my undershirt.

by Mark Shackelford June 4, 2007

Fleabites

One of the many groups of peoples listed in the Holy Bible that at one time or another caused trouble against Israel.

You shall not allow any of the jebusites, perezites, hittites, moabites or fleabites to enter the congregation.

by Mark Shackelford June 11, 2007

unethnical

When people of a distinct race and culture break away from the customs and traditions that define their ancestry.

<Abuelo> Come on kids, let's get ready for the Cinco de Mayo parade.
<Pepito> Oh, Abuelo! We won free NASCAR tickets for the race today. Can we postpone it til tomorrow.
<Abuelo> NASCAR over Cinco de Mayo?! That's unethnical!

by Mark Shackelford June 27, 2007

new guitar smell

The fragrance or odor you get when you first open the case of a new guitar. Only happens with custom built guitars that are recieved within a few days of manufacturing.

<Employee 1> Take a look at my new Carvin CT4M!
<employee 2> Whoa! It's still got new guitar smell!

by Mark Shackelford May 27, 2007

bronunciate

To mispronounce words like people of African descent.

<person1> Old Dewey said he's going to eat some strimps tonite. Did he really mean shrimp?
<person2> Yes, that's just the way he bronunciates it.

by Mark Shackelford June 25, 2007

rhoid buffing

In mountainbiking, to descend a hill so steep your butt touches the back wheel.

I was rhoid buffing down that huge hill in Waco.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007

Neiman Markups

A department store where you can purchase the same items as in other stores for twice the price.

My mom bought me a pair of gay shorts for $80 at Neiman Markups. I saw the same shorts at Foley's for $40 and they were just as gay.

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007