marK's definitions

slam-pig

A highly unattractive or repulsive female who you would only have sex with if highly intoxicated or high off a particular drug.

Tim was so drunk last night he they had sex with the fattest slam-pig at the party.

Tom drank so many cosmopolitans that he began sucking face with the 400 pound slam-pig at the bar.

by Mark December 9, 2004

fireman's helmet

The head of a dick..

My gay co-worker Kevin always talks about licking the fireman's helmet.

by Mark August 29, 2004

lowlz

See lol. A form of "LOL", but horribly misspelled. Typically used by kids trying to be clever with their friend in making variations of lol. All are guilty of using this phrase once in their internet life. Origin is unknown, but it is a good bet it spawned from the illiterate 13 year olds playing counter-strike.

Illiterate 13 y/o #1: LIEK OMFG I SO PWNED HIM WHILE I WAS EATING DENNY'S AND PLAYING QAUKE 3 (Quake 3)!!!!!!

Illiterate 13 y/o #2: LOWLZ LIEK GRAND SLAM, NOT TEH MEAL!!!

by Mark December 23, 2003

STARFISH

One who has been knocked out

Rider was lying in the starfish position after being knocked out

by Mark April 20, 2004

Ambidextrous

The ability to use both hands with equal proficiency.

"I'll can beat you with with both of my hands because I am ambidextrous."

"Don't be relieved because Billy has a gun in his left hand, he can still bust a cap in yo ass because he's ambidextrous"

by Mark November 10, 2003

CWILF

Co-Worker I'd Like to Fuck - a person of the same OR opposite sex from work that one would like to make the naked pretzel with.

Man, that Fiorino is NOT a CWILF. He's one ugly mofo.

by Mark August 7, 2004

penis monkey

(a) Hard to define, the word stems from the original idea that John Bauman is the one and only important person in the entire world. The word can be used in pretty much any situation for any reason...however, everytime someone uses the word, it does nothing but reflect on the true nature that John Bauman is untouchable.

(b) A hit song by John Bauman.

(c) The penis on a monkey.

John: Mark, what are you doing today?
Mark: I don't know.
John: Clyde's sucks.
Mark: I know. Jackie is a cocktease.
John: The queen. <shaking head>
(pause)
Mark: *cough...cough* PENIS MONKEY.

by Mark April 14, 2005