Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by Lumpbag May 26, 2009
Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
by Lumpbag May 07, 2009
Hey look at the fat guy with the walkie-talkie!
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
by lumpbag June 09, 2009
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
A little fat security guard with a gay moustache. Drives a shitty white van and likes to go out with wrinkly drag queens. Probably the most boring man on Earth, definitely the ugliest.
Who's the repulsive fat guy with Goofy Granny?
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
by Lumpbag May 16, 2009
The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
by Lumpbag May 04, 2009