mix Lever 2000, Aloe Vera, and Baking soda in a small dish, then apply it to your face. let it set until the baking soda congeals into a white powder all over your face, rinse with warm to hot water. repeat once a day for 5 days, and you'll have ghettofied clean and clear skin.
Guy 1- "dude! your face is so smoothe, how much did you spend to get it like that?"
Guy 2- "shit, i stole your stuff to make some Ghetto acne cream"
Guy 1- "Ah, that's why i'm spending a fortune on comercialized acne washes, you stole all the basic materials needed to have beautiful skin".
(SEX POSITION) When a guy is having anal sex with a woman (or man) and they both walk. While they are walking, the man in back, who is usual high/drunk/etc. takes a knife and randomly stabs into the air while yelling random phrases and profanities.
Last night, we had this awesome raging scorpion race. After I accidentally stabbed your mom, we rushed her to the hospital still in position.
The one true Prince of Penises. The Duke of Dicks. The Elite Erection. The Behemoth Boner. The King of Cocks. The absolute and all powerful male sex organ.
The Overlord does not need a weapon, nor does he need a reason. He is free to come and go as he pleases and answers to no one. The Overlord will destroy the great pussies of the world. All tremble before it's magnificence. Behold my Overlord!
(vaj-i-rito. rhymes with "burrito")
when a woman takes a frozen burrito out of the freezer, and heats it up to perfection by sticking it into her vagina. If she is able to have an orgasm by doing this, this is called a "burritagasm".
Guy- "damnit, i'm so hungry, but i can't get anything to heat up this burrito!
Girl- "hold on, i'll give you a vagaritto."
Guy- "that's disgusting. but that burritagasm you're having is kinda sexy"
insurance that provides protection from claims arising from injuries or damage to other people or property.
I need Liability Insurance on muh Escalade
A sexual position performed mainly on holidays, predominately Christmas. When you take a fat guy, strip him naked, and shove him down your chimney. When he reaches the hearth and becomes stuck, you beat his ash covered dick with a candy cane until the soot comes off. You continue to beat the obese man ensnared in your chimney, as you also start a fire underneath of him. When his fat, flabby cock is fully erected, break it. Bend his broken boner down, and as he ejaculates, and bleeds uncontrollaby, have him fart. The methane will ignite because of the fire, and will create a jet of flame propelling him straight out of your chimney as his pink discharge seeping from his penis provides lube on the inside walls of the chiminy for his fat legs to pass through. As you see him soar like an eagle over your house, yell "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL, A GOODNIGHT!"
"hey man, guess what i did last weekend. I kidnapped the mall santa, and gave him a good jolly cocking."
to congradulate someone on getting laid.
Guy 1- Hey man! how was your weekend?
Guy 2- Pretty great, i finally got laid.
Guy 1- Really? Convagilations! i wish i did something exciting, all i was able to do was fuck your mom, and that's not worth convagilating about.