jimbowales's definitions

swagasmic

The feeling of being so swag that you simultaneously feel like shitting, cumming and vomiting all at once......which will then lead to a feeling of anti-swag because you ruined all of your swag with your shit, jizz and vomit.

Today, I woke up and tried on some swag kicks at Tom's Shoes after going to the local H&M and grabbing a fresh v-neck and skinny jeans. As soon as the kicks united with my new H&M threads, the swagasmic feeling overcame me and I felt at peace.

Then I realized I just shitted, came and upchucked all over my new clothes in a public place. #swag

by JimboWales January 6, 2012

jail pocket

One's butthole, wherein which an individual can get away with smuggling small objects into restrictive places like prison or a concert venue without getting caught.

Josh: Bro, do you have the ganja?

Tim: Yeah, the security was super strict though...they patted me down top-to-bottom. Lucky for us I figured I'd put it in my jail pocket just to be safe.

Josh: Ewwwww dafuq nigga no wonder this weed smells like ass. *proceeds to vomit*

Tim: Fuggit bruh, yolo....blaze it! *proceeds to smoke a bowl of ass weed*

by JimboWales May 13, 2015

...is so mainstream

Similar to your mom jokes, but making fun of how hipsters reject anything as soon as it becomes popular with the masses, or better said, mainstream.

Basically you call one thing mainstream and go on to praise another thing for some kind of (retarded or otherwise) reason.

Examples of ...is so mainstream jokes:

Lady Antebellum is so mainstream, I prefer Wilco because Seth Rogen mentioned them in Funny People.

Pokémon is so mainstream, I prefer Monster Rancher because it never got its well-deserved limelight.

Francis Ford Coppola is so mainstream, I prefer Stanley Kubrick because his films make you think with your brain instead of just see with your eyes.

Sea otters are so mainstream, I prefer river otters because they don't pollute the ocean with their trash and feces.

by JimboWales June 4, 2011

nyan cat

An 8-bit cat that has a strawberry pop tart as its body that flies around space shitting out rainbows.

Last night, I witnessed the sheer awesomeness that is nyan cat on YouTube for the first time. Never before has my mind shitted so many bricks before.

by JimboWales June 2, 2011

Equals Three

Stylized as =3, this popular YouTube web show is hosted by Ray William Johnson, a guy living in NYC that looks like a midget raccoon with guido hair. Ray William Johnson hosts it and analyzes (usually making fun of) three viral web videos, and then concludes the show with a question from a usually random viewer (usually a hot chick), and then a montage of creative responses members of the "forum" (video viewers with YouTube accounts) replied to in response to the question presented in the previous video. So basically, it's like Tosh.0 but not as well-funded. It has grown to become one of YouTube's most subscribed shows, and has also spurred many different jokes. Some of these jokes include squaids, two camels in a tiny car, fake and gay among others. New videos usually pop up every Sunday and Wednesday nights, but sometimes there's exceptions.

Hey forum, welcome to another episode of Equals Three do you guys wanna see this fidgety-ass dog rave?
Man that dog is so crazy, maybe he has squaids?
Or maybe he's doing your mom?
I'm kidding, forum, I really liked the video but it turned out like over 9,000 views in the past six months no wonder it's so funny.....like your mom.

by JimboWales August 17, 2010

dickshot

When a boy/man gets shot in the genital area. It won't kill you, but it'll kill your manhood and your dignity. Simultaneously.

Butters: *dickshot* to some dude.

Cartman: God dammit Butters, don't shoot a person in the dick! Not cool, man. Not cool.

by JimboWales August 19, 2010