jim christ's definitions

Montecristo

1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.

1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.

by jim christ May 12, 2008

pansy play

football plays/playbook invented by John "Spot" and Jimmy "Weasel" at Redondo Union High School in the mid 60's which were comprised of quick passes that could not be defended. Probably the original "West Coast Offense" later coined and used in NFL by Bill Walsh and company.

When John and Jimmy started moving the ball downfield with the "pansy play" Larry, Dear Old Dad, Ears, Walter, David, Tyler and others could not defend it!

by jim christ January 28, 2009

Lost Angels

An insider name for Los Angeles coined by Jim 'the weaz' in middle 1960's which was brought about by a realization that even angels could get lost in the smog of Los Angeles on a SMOG ALERT day.

The Barnowl Brothers left Lost Angels via Highway 101 on a roadtrip to San Freako with tickets to New Years Eve at Winterland 1969 burning holes in their pockets.

by jim christ April 30, 2009

make beliefs

Various pretensions and desperate believings manufactured, brainwashed and clung to in order to compensate for and quell the fear of THE UNKNOWN. Usually take the form of religions and cults.

1. Omar had been brainwashed into the way of the crescent moon prophet from an early age and was firmly entrenched in his make beliefs.

2. When Donna hit bottom in Key West; her anxiety and desperation led her to Jesus and a ready made group of make beliefs.

3. Even though raised Roman Catholic, Madonna gravitated to Caballa and other Judaic nuances to fill a void in her system of make beliefs.

by jim christ April 1, 2009

clown race

1. any race or competition that's more of a comedy than a real test of speed or endurance 2. Homo Sapiens

1. While watching the NASCAR vehicles making left turns all afternoon on TV as well as viewing the weekend freeway action through the window; I realized they were both clown races.
2. Taking into account natural resources, global politics and the lack of unity on planet earth; the inhabitants thereof should be known as the clown race.

by jim christ February 2, 2009

rectumectomy

rectum removal either by actual surgery or in a comical sense - by removing an "asshole" from a room, group or other situation.

When Kenny kept making off-color comments and acting the part of a complete asshole, Jimmy Ray decided to remove him from the room and performed a rectumectomy for the good of the group.

by jim christ December 31, 2007

Chevy Chaser

Name of a locally famous dog straight out of Northern California history. He lived in the 80's and early 90's and was a Timberwolf, Malamute, Siberian Husky and German Shepard mix. His ashes now reside on top of Mount Saint Helena.

When Jim brought Chevy Chaser home from the Humane Society in Sebastopol; this amazing pup had followed the Chevy Z28 a couple hundred yards down a country road and into the driveway as Donna said, "He's a Chevy Chaser!"

by jim christ April 29, 2009