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jim christ's definitions

Montecristo

1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.
1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.
by jim christ May 12, 2008
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Lost Angels

An insider name for Los Angeles coined by Jim 'the weaz' in middle 1960's which was brought about by a realization that even angels could get lost in the smog of Los Angeles on a SMOG ALERT day.
The Barnowl Brothers left Lost Angels via Highway 101 on a roadtrip to San Freako with tickets to New Years Eve at Winterland 1969 burning holes in their pockets.
by jim christ April 30, 2009
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clown race

1. any race or competition that's more of a comedy than a real test of speed or endurance 2. Homo Sapiens
1. While watching the NASCAR vehicles making left turns all afternoon on TV as well as viewing the weekend freeway action through the window; I realized they were both clown races.
2. Taking into account natural resources, global politics and the lack of unity on planet earth; the inhabitants thereof should be known as the clown race.
by jim christ February 2, 2009
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extheism

The state of rejection of any make beliefs pertaining to the existence of god (also known as cults & religions of same) which were programmed from birth, reached for due to life trauma, clutched at for group identity, financial greed reasons, shelter from addictions or leaned on to quell fear of the unknown or other disturbing fears and a plethora of classic human weaknesses.
After years of brain-washing and constant systematic reinforcement of existence of god; James decided to embrace extheism in order to get honest and put aside the following of make beliefs which were a product of childhood suseptablility so that he could accept the mystery of life and do the right things without the crutch and pretense of trumped up constructs.
by jim christ April 13, 2009
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Chevy Chaser

Name of a locally famous dog straight out of Northern California history. He lived in the 80's and early 90's and was a Timberwolf, Malamute, Siberian Husky and German Shepard mix. His ashes now reside on top of Mount Saint Helena.
When Jim brought Chevy Chaser home from the Humane Society in Sebastopol; this amazing pup had followed the Chevy Z28 a couple hundred yards down a country road and into the driveway as Donna said, "He's a Chevy Chaser!"
by jim christ April 29, 2009
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rectumectomy

rectum removal either by actual surgery or in a comical sense - by removing an "asshole" from a room, group or other situation.
When Kenny kept making off-color comments and acting the part of a complete asshole, Jimmy Ray decided to remove him from the room and performed a rectumectomy for the good of the group.
by jim christ December 31, 2007
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ball security

1. The act of ball protection in any sport, ie. held tightly so cannot be knocked loose in football, handled, dribbled and passed so can't be stolen in basketball, held tightly in hand or glove in baseball - or protection of ball in any other applicable sport as originally specified on Fitz and Brooks afternoon sportstalk radio.

2. In non sports modes it's protection against damage due to impacts from feet, knuckles, whips, chains, canes, sticks, stones, elbows, sharp objects or other threatening things when aforementioned balls are hanging unprotected between the legs!
1. O'Sullivan of the Forty Niners needs to practice and be more expert in ball security.

2. Most MLB ballplayers wear a cup to enhance ball security.
by jim christ March 22, 2009
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