i love tarquin's definitions

bhangramuffin

A bhangramuffin is a person of Indian or Pakistani origin who speaks in an Estuary accent, wears sportswear or clothing that went out of fashion in the 90s and often has a taste for Asian girls, known as the 'rasmaloi', but is rarely rewarded for his efforts. First found in Goodness Gracious Me in the Bhangramuffin sketch.

"Why you going after them rasmaloi, man?"
"Because I'm absolute besty. I'm a bhangramuffin!"
"INNIT!"

by I Love Tarquin November 15, 2007

tarquin

A person who appears on a bluetooth search, but you will be unable to locate or find ever again. No matter how many people there are in the room/train/church/etc.

I tried searching for 'Foxxxy' on bluetooth again. I'm beginning to think this is a tarquin.

by i love tarquin December 4, 2007

s'aftie

Generally Hampshire, but also Dorset and Wiltshire, way of saying 'this afternoon'. Can also be said 's'arftie', depending on speaker's preference.

"Going to town s'aftie?"

by I Love Tarquin February 23, 2008

woodcock

1. A person who makes racket at the slightest provocation, is easily excitable and pulls a variety of silly faces for little reason.
2. Getting a splinter in your dick.

"That Annie is such a woodcock, especially if Neighbours is on."

"Man, last night, slid along the unvanished floor and ended up getting woodcocked."

by I Love Tarquin February 9, 2008

grockle

A holiday maker, but one from outside the local vicinity, i.e. someone holidaying in Christchurch who's from Southampton isn't a grockle. Term used on the south coast and has spread eastwards, stopping at Southampton water. Most commonly heard in the solent town of Lymington where it's used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists, those with caravans, those with five kids, a dog and granddad tagging along and those that have been coming to the town for twenty years and think they know/own the place. Most commonly heard amongst fed-up shopworkers and working-class locals. Tends not to be applied to foreign tourists as these generally tend to be considerate people when travelling and don't make a nuisance of themselves.

"Heads up, grockle in the shop!"

"I want to take out these grockles with a sniper rifle."

by I Love Tarquin November 13, 2007

Priestlands

A school in Pennington, Hampshire, characterised for it's stunningly gifted students. Murderers, rapists, drunks, stoners, dealers, mafia, abused kids, expectant mothers. The only reason they get such good results is that they kick all the failing kids out a month before the exams. And they say that southern kids are soft...

"My child is looking forward to going to Priestlands. I need to get them some more things for the big day."
"May I recommend some durex and perhaps a knife?"

by I Love Tarquin November 14, 2007

mwike

1. The drunken stealer of a duck.
2. To steal a duck whilst drunk.
3. To talk in a quacking voice about stealing a duck whilst in a drunken state.

"I saw him last night - that Mwike."
"I just mwiked."
"mwike mwike mwike..."

by I Love Tarquin February 9, 2008