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h.s. willsy's definitions

Dim Toning

Setting your favourite song as your ring tone and then, after months of hearing it over and over again through your phone's bass-hating speakers, growing to hate it through too much repetition
"Isn't this your favourite song?"

"No, I can't stand it anymore. I set it as my ring tone and after four months of hearing just the chorus I cracked."

"Gutted. That's some pretty dim toning on your part."

"Yeah."

"What have you got as your ring tone now?"

"Why are we talking about ring tones?"

"We must just be losers."

"Bastard."
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
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Giger Wanker

A Giger Wanker is someone who straps themselves to a ceiling whilst wearing a gas mask and then proceeds to masturbate to a slide show of H.R. Giger paintings. Traditionally they will mutter, "this is normal, this is normal," to themselves until they cum when they will shout, "take that sexual perversion!"
"Why is every guy I meet gay, married or a Giger Wanker?"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Razorblade Romance

A form of preversion.

Sometimes a person who is afraid of necrophilia will combat the act by ingesting razorblades in their penetrateables when they are approaching death. Often, when performed, it's also the cause of death.
"Better not be another razorblade romance..."

*SHLUMP*

"Uh oh..."

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Geeks

A type of carnival freak known for eating live animals
"Remember that tattoo freak in the X-Files?"

"Err...oh yeah."

"What's the name of that type of carnival performer?"

"One that eats live animals?"

"Yeah, that kind."

"They're called geeks."

"Right, right. How fucking hot was Gillian Anderson in that series?"

"Yeah. Definitely yeah."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Water Broading

Sometimes, at a gangbang porno shoot, the blindfolded gangbangee will start to think that they are drowning due to the amount of depraviar that is being fired all over them and they will start to invent and reveal military secrets.
"Er...we've got UAVs hidden under the mountain! WMDs too! We've got goats with heat seeking lasers on their heads!"

"Stop cumming on her guys, she's water broading."

"Sheeeeeeit, that girl crazy."

"Yeah, now just wipe her down and we'll break for lunch."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Ket Cramps

Ket cramps (or K cramps) is the name of the abdominal pain suffered by users of ketamine who take 1g + per day for a prolonged period of time
"Oh man, I've got the ket cramps bad."

"Stop taking ket everyday then you filthy scumbag."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Prevert

A prevert is a person who pre-empts a pervert by doing to the pervert what they would have done to them, e.g. when a ballerina takes an illicit sniff of a foot fetishists loafer or when a child rapes a paedophile
"Mrs. Robinson? Mrs. Robinson? Hi, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your son Billy molested me last night. Molested me badly."

"Oh my god! Billy did?"

"Yes I'm afraid so."

"Hey, wait a minute, aren't you that paedophile that just moved into the area?"

"Err...yeah...Frank's the name. But I didn't initiate anything, I swear to god."

"Oh that's just mummy's little prevert taking matters into his own hands. I mean, you would have done it to him wouldn't you? Wouldn't you pervert?"

"Yeah...yeah I suppose I would."

"You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to surprise my Billy!"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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