h.s. willsy's definitions

Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.

"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness

"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.

"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Penetrateables

Anything that can be penetrated with a penis, including:

vaginas, ani (anuses), mouths, tightly closed armpits, squeezed together breasts, holes in the walls of public toilets, wounds, empty eye sockets, flesh lights, nostrils, ear holes, pushed together feet, warm pies, ripe fruit, bin bags, two-week old corpses, animal cages and sauce bottle with the lids removed.

It should be noted that most of these are not reccomended in any way, shape or form.

"That girl had more penetrateables than a two-week dead pirate."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Giger Wanker

A Giger Wanker is someone who straps themselves to a ceiling whilst wearing a gas mask and then proceeds to masturbate to a slide show of H.R. Giger paintings. Traditionally they will mutter, "this is normal, this is normal," to themselves until they cum when they will shout, "take that sexual perversion!"

"Why is every guy I meet gay, married or a Giger Wanker?"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Getting Horsey

To 'get horsey' is to take ketamine

"We getting horsey tonight mate?"

"Again? I dunno man, I keep losing my shoes and I've only got this pair left."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Dim Toning

Setting your favourite song as your ring tone and then, after months of hearing it over and over again through your phone's bass-hating speakers, growing to hate it through too much repetition

"Isn't this your favourite song?"

"No, I can't stand it anymore. I set it as my ring tone and after four months of hearing just the chorus I cracked."

"Gutted. That's some pretty dim toning on your part."

"Yeah."

"What have you got as your ring tone now?"

"Why are we talking about ring tones?"

"We must just be losers."

"Bastard."

by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011