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h.s. willsy's definitions

Preversions

Preversions are acts commited by preverts, i.e. people who preempt the actions of perverts by doing to a pervert what a pervert would have done to them.
"So what preversions do we know of Inspector?"

"Well there's the reverse jackson, the funky trap, the shepherd's delight and the razorblade romance."

"Nasty stuff, nasty stuff."

"Yes. Beware of the prevert perverts, beware!"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
mugGet the Preversionsmug.

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.
"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
mugGet the Fettlersmug.

Razorblade Romance

A form of preversion.

Sometimes a person who is afraid of necrophilia will combat the act by ingesting razorblades in their penetrateables when they are approaching death. Often, when performed, it's also the cause of death.
"Better not be another razorblade romance..."

*SHLUMP*

"Uh oh..."

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
mugGet the Razorblade Romancemug.

Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.
"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
mugGet the Funky Trapmug.

Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.
"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
mugGet the Kurt Cobrainedmug.

Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness
"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
mugGet the Drunk Resetmug.

Penetrateables

Anything that can be penetrated with a penis, including:

vaginas, ani (anuses), mouths, tightly closed armpits, squeezed together breasts, holes in the walls of public toilets, wounds, empty eye sockets, flesh lights, nostrils, ear holes, pushed together feet, warm pies, ripe fruit, bin bags, two-week old corpses, animal cages and sauce bottle with the lids removed.

It should be noted that most of these are not reccomended in any way, shape or form.
"That girl had more penetrateables than a two-week dead pirate."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
mugGet the Penetrateablesmug.

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