gnostic1's definitions

olympics

n. Loose assemblage of activities undertaken quadrennially by over-ripped folk with an odd view of life and difficulty prioritising. Small trinkets on coloured ribbons and needlessly ostentatious flower arrangements are commonly given to several of the better entrants as stirring tunes play. Flags and advertising signage tend to be prominently displayed and portly men in suits shuffle about needlessly.

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I couldn't sleep yesterday so I flicked on the olympics and caught some women's arm wrestling; it looked like the 85kg class. I think a Bulgarian won. Then there was rhythmic gymnastics. I swear to God. Rhythmic gymnastics.

by gnostic1 July 22, 2012

drafting

v. 1) reducing wind resistance by tucking in behind a moving object while riding a skateboard, bike, racecar, hospital stretcher etc.

2) a sexual act.

Dude! You should have been with me yesterday! I totally saw that Penelope chick drafting a bus.

Really? I'm actually kind of glad I missed that.

by gnostic1 August 21, 2011

beckon

v. calculate without using actual statistics, facts, or reasoning; act in a Glen Beck-esque manner.

Check out the way Sarah Palin is beckoning in her speeches. I beckon she'll be president soon!

I beckon most NFL fans are overweight cheese doodlers.

by gnostic1 May 10, 2011

corn brooming

v. keeping the path of one's friend or boss clear of obstacles. Originally used in ice curling to indicate the action of sweeping gravel, beer bottles and other debris off the action lane where the hammer rock is flung by the harrier.

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This is my birthday party so when we get to this club I am expecting to get a lot of corn brooming from you ladies.

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Hey. Could I get a little corn brooming here? This is only an important presentation.

by gnostic1 November 6, 2011

drughale

v. To inhale drugs. Originally used by medical personnel when describing inhalation of therapeutic medicines into the lungs it is now largely used by street drug users to describe consumption of illicit drugs, in large amounts, by any route.

Dude! What up? Did you drughale my whole stash? You are going to get such a stare when your mother gets home.

by gnostic1 August 25, 2011

West Duck Hollow

place. Isolated hamlet in Alberta, Canada, that, fueled by high profits, fueled by high ethylene prices, has been riding high on the hog without the sponsorship of big gravel. Free from the doldrumic influence of East Duck Hollow since the partition of 1948 the vibrant citizenry of West Duck Hollow have been kindling the fires of progress in their matchless march to the future of petrochemical dominance-related carbon-footprinting. It is a place free from zoning restrictions where people can occupy a public park with tents, signage, muffins, and no clear purpose.

Clear cutting by a forward-thinking Tourism Council allows views of Ponoka, from which the Rocky Mountains can be seen. An interpretive center is planned for the tourist kiosk which is planned for the fall of 2015.

Lumberjack competitions and fencing exhibitions, often between gangs of tree-toughs from the various hamlets in the greater Duck Hollow region, provide much of the business at the local medical office.

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West Duck Hollow sure has some pretty vistas. You can sure see that this is a place that owns some nice Ethylene deposits and doesn't depend on gravel sluicing for its tax dollars.

by gnostic1 December 27, 2011

roam ants movie

n. chick flick so awful, so totally full of Jennifer Anniston, that you wish a horde of army ants would gnaw off your leg to keep you awake and add some excitement to the evening.

Dude! How was your date last night?

Absolutely dreadful. We viewed, and here I'm totally going to pause for effect, a roam ants movie!

Did you at least get your bleeding stump licked?

by gnostic1 December 31, 2010