gnostic 1's definitions

Coronation

place. Town in Canada that sits boldly upon the bare prairies surrounded by wheat fields and arthropods not encumbered by gluten-allergies. Gravel deposits are almost non-existent due to the intransigent nature of the recent glaciation, but a ready supply of clay is at hand so there are no shortages of bricks and brick-like accretions.

Curling is the sport of choice for the largely-retired populace who draw weights each end during the winters.

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Rodent zoonoses are, to the delight of the tourism bureau, on the wane at the grain elevator/interpretive centre. Open all summer.

Is that Coronation in the distance? I would love to take off my locust-proof coat and down a few brews.

It's hard to tell with the wondscreen covered in bug juice.

by gnostic 1 January 24, 2013

terribull

n. Any false explanation for a late report, missing cash, pregnancy etc. Usually said with an ironic sympathetic nod.

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.....so then there was this big crash, see, and like the heavens totally opened up and some big voice was all,"Judy! You is the chosen one!" So I said,"But I don't want to be pregnant. I got school to finish." (Sobs uncontrollably)

That's terribull. Let me get you a kleenex.

by gnostic 1 December 30, 2012

circumseyes

v. Looking with disgust or disfavour upon a foreskin.

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I'm going out with that hot sheep shearer tonight. You know. The one from Perth.

Why do you bother. You know she will just circumseyes you. Get out the clippers mate!

by gnostic 1 April 27, 2013

olympic "athlete"

n. Any participant in an olympic event that obviously isn't a real sport, eg. ice-curling, luge, modern pentathalon. Often these people are smokers, out of shape, and Canadian.

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Hey! Hand me a Snickers bar! It's kind of boring out here on the curling rink. But at least I'm living the dream.

Here you go, eh, my olympic "athlete".

You didn't put air quotes around "athlete" did you?

by gnostic 1 July 21, 2012

railscratch

n. Radical skateboarding term for a move where you lean backwards and drag your fingers down a railing behind your board. Often done fakey after blowing air.

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Nice railscratch dude! You totally nailed the goat!

by gnostic 1 December 23, 2012

Skater's dozen

n. Eleven. A reflection of both the abscence of resources and the humour of skaters.

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Dude! This crate only has eleven brewes.

A skater's dozen! Radical. Nine for me and four for you!

Tottally!

by gnostic 1 February 24, 2013

pulling a pope

v. To quit unexpectantly. Also a sexual act.

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Where's Yvonne? We're about to open. She isn't pulling a pope is she?

Yeah. She phoned in. She doesn't feel that her fading spirit will allow her to continue here in the sort of capacity that is required.

She knows she's just a bar maid? Right?

by gnostic 1 February 23, 2013