dixons

Chain of British electrical retailers that exclusively employs male juvenile retards with bad acne. They all wear cheap shiny suits from Burtons or Top Man (clothing chains that employ the same sort of people).

Dixons make their money on selling dodgy extended warranties by trying to scare you that the screen on your shiny new laptop might break. One time they tried to sell me an extended warranty on a £10 kettle. FFS...

Spotty youth: "You can insure the washing machine against breakdown for 3 years for only £10/month".
Me: "Are you saying that this product which I have not yet paid for is unreliable?".
SY: "Ehhhhh...."
Me: "Besides, if it breaks, I will get a plumber out to fix it and that cannot cost as much as £360".
SY: "Security to checkouts please. We have a customer with a brain".

by fubarderby September 06, 2005

barista

Coffee bitch. Not to be confused with a barrister.

Idiot: "I work as a barista".
Me (winding up idiot): "So you are a lawyer who works in the High Court?"
Idiot (confused): "Ehhh no I make coffee in Starbucks."
Me (sniggering): "Ahhh, you mean you are a coffee bitch."

by fubarderby December 28, 2008

NRA

They protect the 2nd amendment - the right to bear flintlock muskets...in a properly consituted milita.

I don't see any mention of assault rifles, self-loading pistols, etc. in there.

How many of their members are members of the army reserve, national guard, etc?

Old law that has been twisted to allow drunken rednecks to keep AK-47s under their beds.

by fubarderby August 11, 2005

anti-chav

I am bigger than most chavs, so when a load of them (all about 14) tried to block my path on the pavement (because weze izz 'ard innit?), I punched the alpha-chav in the face without warning very hard and spread his nose across his face. He went down like a sack of spuds in front of me, so I "place kicked" his head. The others ran away because they were only used to pushing 12 yr-old goths around and not bigger people who fight back.

Someone call Rentokil to eradicate those chavs hanging around outside the village shop.

by fubarderby February 11, 2005

Trap

Toilet cubicle in Rolls-Royce. So called because they used to have trapdoors in the door at head height for foremen (supervisors) to open and check who was inside.

Don't use the third trap along, someone has spattered all up the walls.

by fubarderby April 25, 2011

Ferrari

Penis extension for the sexually inadequate male. Long, red, throbs... Ferraris are so phallic.

I tried viagra, ginseng, spanish fly and they all failed, so I bought a Ferrari instead.

by fubarderby March 04, 2005

Baling twine

Baling twine can be used to tie anything together and is the strongest material known to man. If aircraft were built out of this and duct tape, they could survive any crash intact.

A: "This climbing rope is frayed and I have to scale the north face of the Eiger."

B: "Use this length of baling twine instead."

by fubarderby October 22, 2004