friend of bob's definitions

The worst thing you can call someone

If target is male: baby dick
If target is female: (there are far too many insults that can send any member of the female gender into wild fenzy of violent rage)

You: Hey there, friend of bob, I mean "baby dick".
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!! (walks away in shame)

Me: Hey there, (random female).
Female: (ignores and walks way, usually finding someone more attractive)

by friend of bob June 11, 2006

sexual harassment

Like many things, this phrase was once pure and clear. The term has now degenerated into an overwhelmingly broad range of actions often determined by zealous feminists to be an inappropriate sexual advance.

Me: Hi there, Sarah.
Sarah: Excuse me?! Who the hell do you think you are?!
Me: Uh....
Sarah: I'll see you in court, buddy!

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

douchebag

A description that fits nearly every teenager who conforms monotonously to popular culture. Often known for their tendency to have low individuality and severe intolerance for those that exhibit different behavior. Note: The best location to study the ridiculous patterns of douchebags is your local mall.

That dude is such a douchebag....

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

I see pussy!!

A common cry during my incipient stages of marijuana smoking. I would often hallucinate the female fun part everywhere I went, especially when gazing at star constellations (somehow they all ended up merging into one large vagina). Sadly ironic because I have yet to see a real one (except in porn, of course).

Me:HAHAHAHA..hahaha..HAHAHAHAHA
Other person: What?
Me: I SEE PUSSY!!!

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

jail gum

One of many creative innovations that can be found amongst inmates in juvenile detention. Made by applying small dabs of toothpaste on each corner of a square of toilet paper, then folding the square into a smaller and more condensed version of itself, and finally dampening it with water. It has vaguely similar properties of real chewing gum and the toothpaste adds a rather cheap taste of mint.

I tried some of this stuff and laughed my ass off as to why someone would ever want to make this.

by friend of bob May 21, 2004

Halo 2

Something that abruptly halted any interest in the outside world. In this game, I saw a balance so pure it erased all meaning of many things I once considered significant. This game has now become my world.

Call me a loser. Tell me I have no life. I'll show you how much I care.

Halo 2 is awesome.

by friend of bob October 4, 2005

MTV

A deadly and evil entity capable of emitting powerful waves of superficiality that can reduce a teenager's brain mass into excrement in mere seconds. Disguises nefarious intentions of gaining wealth from the idiotic with incessant marketing/brainwashing. Research has shown that 98 percent of MTV's audience exhibit an IQ below that of a rotting corpse. Experts recommend immediate evasion of anything affiliated with MTV, including its viewers. Many a douchebag has been manufactured via watching MTV. Females hooked on MTV usually prefer to mate with douchebags rather than humans. The music shown on MTV represents the lowest grade of musical quality existing anywhere on Earth, possibly even the universe.

The solution to MTV? None. Let other people watch it so they can become dumber than you.

by friend of bob May 15, 2004