108 definitions by frank klaune
Slang for the restroom or WC. The term is a more polite version of "pissalorium" suitable for use in mixed audiences. It makes you appear highly intelligent and sophisticated as if you know Latin, when in reality, you think it's a language spoken in Latvia.
by frank klaune January 27, 2005
A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.
The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.
by frank klaune November 24, 2004
by frank klaune January 22, 2005
One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.
by frank klaune January 24, 2005
An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.
"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"
by frank klaune March 6, 2004
A simple attempt to measure and quantify the amount of alcohol needed in order for you (or your friend) to willingly copulate with any given female. A fun game to play in a pub, the standard of measurement is one draw (draft) of an average strength American beer. While a reasonably attractive female may rate a 5-6 beer factor, a more homely specimen may require a 12 or 15 beer factor. On the other hand, a very attractive female may not warrant the need for any beer at all, resulting in the prized "ZBF" or "Zero Beer Factor".
Frank was scoping over some fat broad playing pool in the back room. She looked like a dyke to me. She was so fugly that she was probably a 24 beer factor.
by frank klaune January 24, 2005
Sucessful completion of the sex act, but only after outrageously exhaustive efforts. Usually used to describe a rather un-satisfying sexual experience which one has been working very hard at achieving and, upon completion, does not think it was worth it.
"Lisa was playing hard to get. I had to take her out six times and spend a fortune on her to get laid, and then all she did was lay there and complain the wholetime. What a choregasm!"
by frank klaune November 23, 2003