frank klaune's definitions

power shit

n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.

Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

take a shit

Aside from the relatively obvious use of the phrase (to designate defecation), "take a shit" as a phrase can apply to mechanical devices. An apparatus which wears out or breaks down at a very inconvenient time can be said to "take a shit".

"I told Frank to fix those worn lifters on his car engine but he didn't listen to me. Then when he went on vacation he was crossing the rockies when it took a shit on him. It ruined his vacation."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

chappies

An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.

"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

gourd

Slang for the head (the one that rides on your shoulders, that is). See noggin.

Damn, Frank survived that car accident, but he really banged up his gourd.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

lipstick on your dipstick

Does this really need an explanation? It seems to be used primarily when lecherous drunks are sitting at a bar and a hot bitch walks in.

(Drunks talking in a bar as the hot bitch walks in)...

"Damn, Frank. Check out what just came in the door! Man.... How'd you like to get her lipstick on your dipstick?"

by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005

in the tank

Broken, hopeless, ruined. Synonyms: screwed up or fucked up.

Damn! Frank was going to have a big outdoor barbecue this weekend but when the forecast called for rain, he knew his plans were in the tank.

Frank started his car, depressed the accelerator to the floor and shifted back and forth between "R" and "D". Now his transmission is in the tank.

by Frank Klaune April 29, 2005

fiberal

A wise and witty observation relating to how today's liberal interacts in the modern world. It is the obvious mix of "fib" (as in lie / liar and deceit) and "iberal" (as in "liberal"- i.e. ignorant, unrealistic socialist who wants big government to solve all problems at the expense of liberty). An accurate portrayal of today's left wing kooks who use revisionist history, rhetoric, character assasination and a complicit media to further their own skewed agenda which flies in the face of history, reason and common sense.

"I turned on the news tonight but couldn't stand the biased trash the fiberals were dishing up, so we played Scrabble instead."

by Frank Klaune July 9, 2004