Definitions by frank klaune
oh you MOTHER
By far and beyond, the most commonly used Tomism (see "Tomism"). The phrase has it's origins when Tom was using his very last respirator mask while baling hay and took it off for lunch break. Chris quietly put a lump of horse shit in the middle of the mask. When Tom got up to put it back on, he stared at it for a few seconds, his face got red and he did a slow motion turn to Chris saying, "OHHHH... you MOTHER!!!" Since this event, it has become his signature phrase.
After saying, "OH you MOTHER", he proceeded to chase Chris around the barn, tackle him and perform Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture on him for revenge.
oh you MOTHER by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004
I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich
Perhaps the most famous and most recognized Tomism (see "Tomism"), the term is used as a general insult. Tom K. would speak of another person as having "the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich". It is believed that Tom did not originate the phrase, however. In recent times, the phrase has been combined with "without the jelly" on the end- supposedly to indicate that a peanut butter sandwich WITH jelly has somehow a measurably higher I.Q. Go figure.
I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004
bouquet of penises
A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.
The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.
bouquet of penises by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004
blat
1) Anoter one of many terms designating a type of fart. The "blat" is designated by an explosive blast of rectal gas. While the sound is ferocious, the smell is usually deadly. However the duration (of both the blat and the people standing around the blat-ter) is very brief (pun intended).
2) The type of fart typically associated with "Ocky" and "Clutcher" in the less-well-known comic series of the same name.
3) Designating one of the the two most obnoxious sounds of the tuba. In this context, the term is often spelled "blatt" and associated with "the other" obnoxious sound of the tuba, the "woop". Often the two sounds are grouped together (e.g. "blatting and wooping").
2) The type of fart typically associated with "Ocky" and "Clutcher" in the less-well-known comic series of the same name.
3) Designating one of the the two most obnoxious sounds of the tuba. In this context, the term is often spelled "blatt" and associated with "the other" obnoxious sound of the tuba, the "woop". Often the two sounds are grouped together (e.g. "blatting and wooping").
1) We were playing cards when all at once... BLAT! Grodie let one go, and the game was immediately called off.
2) BLAT!
3) Tubas... we're going to try that again. This time without the blatting and wooping.
2) BLAT!
3) Tubas... we're going to try that again. This time without the blatting and wooping.
blat by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004
Blatz splatz
This phrase, related in part to the "blat" (see "blat"), describes the logical aftermath of drinking too much Blatz beer. If one drinks far too much Blatz, the next morning's activities are dominated by the "Blatz splatz" in which bodily fluids are emitted from various orifices in a semi-involuntary spasm. This term is obviously only used in those areas of the country where "Blatz" beer is found. For additional information see "hershey squirts" and "the shits".
Man, Frank brought a few cases of Blatz to the stag party. Damn, the next day let me tell you, I had the Blatz splatz big time!
Blatz splatz by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004
click it and stick it
A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.
I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!
click it and stick it by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004
Cleveland Rewind
An extremely sick, disgusting joke which is occasionally done in frat houses, public toilets or the home of your enemy. The "Cleveland Rewind" consists of un-hinging a toilet paper roll from it's holder, pull out a considerable portion of the paper, and very carefully wipe one's ass on the portion in the middle, then "rewinding " the roll back, and replacing it into the dispenser. Thus, a subsequent patron gets shit on their fingers. The "Cleveland Rewind" supposedly gets its name from the equally disgusting "Cleveland Steamer" term.
Cleveland Rewind by Frank Klaune November 20, 2004