frank klaune's definitions

ring the bell

To severely hit or smack another person. One is usually in the hurt bag after having their bell rung. See dial tone.

Damn, when Frank told the chick that she was fat, she just rang his bell right there in the bar. Man, he hit the floor!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

snorgasm

Frat-house term for an unsatisfactory orgasm. The term is often used to describe a relatively disappointing ejaculation (cum shot) in a pornographic movie.

Man, Frank bought that French porn movie and we thought it was going to be real cool, but in the end, it was nothing but a snorgasm.

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

farmer snort

Plugging one nostril by placing the index finger on it while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal mucus on the ground. The "farmer snort" is a quick, efficient way to blow your nose. Unfortunately, it's also a quick, efficient way to guarantee you won't get a second date either.

Damn, Frank was pretty glued when he was at Mike's house. First he farted out loud, then he did a farmer snort on the living room carpet. Mike dial toned him on the spot.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

sippin penis

The term dates back to a camping outing in the late 80's where a friend of "House" (whom we called "Elvis") was having an inebriated conversation in which blowjobs (oral sex) was compared with whiskey. The analogy stated that you can have quick, nasty oral sex such as a quicky blowjob in a public restroom or in your car and that compares with the cheap, off-brands of whiskey which you also drink hastily and "chug" down. On the other hand, you have the finer, more desireable blowjobs where you are much more relaxed, take your time and truly enjoy the whole sexual experience much more, such as one done privately with some extremely hot girl you are dating. In turn, this compares with the finer, more expensive, quality bourbons which are poured into nice snifters or tumblers and sipped slowly at a special time and enjoyed much more- such as with fine Kentucky sipping whiskey. At this point someone asked "Elvis" if this meant that a quality blowjob meant you had a "sipping penis" and the group consensus was yes, indeed. A fine, quality blowjob was indicative of a "sipping penis". Of course, when "Elvis" used the term with his southern drawl, it was soon emulated with the spelling "sippin" and the penis term likewise pronounced in accord with the dialect.

Jennifer and I went on vacation. We spent the weekend in her folks' cabin and while watching the sun set on the porch, she gave me a knob job. Man, that was the best BJ I've ever had... she was truly sippin' penis!

by Frank Klaune December 16, 2004

erection rejection

1) When standing in public with an intentionally huge bulge in your pants so that your girl (or any girl) can plainly see your state of excitement, and such girl(s) ignore you.

2) When dirty dancing with your girlfriend and you rub your big ol doinker against her leg (or any other body part) and she is turned off (not attracted to) your ovations.

Man, I really had blueballs the other day after Jen gave me erection rejection.

by Frank Klaune October 20, 2004

spreading joy

The phrase refers to the process of letting a massive amount of fart gas out in a carefully metered way- usually by farting silently while walking. In this manner, a disasterously huge amount of fart may be discretely dispensed over a larger geographical area. When faced with the prospect of needing to fart in a socially awkward situation, a person often resorts to initially letting a test fart. If the test fart indicates a vile, deadly amount of gas, the person may opt to walk (for example) from the punch bowl across the dance floor, and over to the bar- all the while silently farting the whole way. People at the punch bowl will begin vomiting, the dance floor will clear and the bar area patrons may begin to pass out. Meanwhile, the farter may actually be dozens of feet away, thus escaping blame. In such a way, the farter is said to be "spreading joy."

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He farted over by the band and kept walking. He's spreading joy all over the wedding reception. How disgusting!

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

first cut them off then flip them off

The phrase is used as advice for impatient drivers (usually impatient, incompetant yuppy sorts in overly expensive cars) who hesitate when a much slower car approaches the intersection (usually driven by an old fart with a handicapped sign on the mirror). If the yuppy waits, he will inevitably be trapped behind the slow old fart for a long time. Thus the advice, "first cut them off, then flip them off" intended to not only offend the other driver by cutting them off, but also to infuriate them by giving them "the bird" immediately thereafter. A totally un-called-for move which is very hilarious, it is also summed up by the phrase, "those who hesitate, wait". Either phrase perhaps best summarizes the attitude of extreme, offensive driving- skills not taught in your average Driver's Ed Class.

"Frank slowed down at the intersection, but when he saw that handicapped sign on the approaching car in the cross traffic, he gunned it without stopping. As the tires squealed around the corner, he rolled the window down and flipped off the cross traffic. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replied, "first cut them off, then flip them off". Man, Frank is an asshole!"

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004