frank klaune's definitions

ring the bell

To severely hit or smack another person. One is usually in the hurt bag after having their bell rung. See dial tone.

Damn, when Frank told the chick that she was fat, she just rang his bell right there in the bar. Man, he hit the floor!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

sippin penis

The term dates back to a camping outing in the late 80's where a friend of "House" (whom we called "Elvis") was having an inebriated conversation in which blowjobs (oral sex) was compared with whiskey. The analogy stated that you can have quick, nasty oral sex such as a quicky blowjob in a public restroom or in your car and that compares with the cheap, off-brands of whiskey which you also drink hastily and "chug" down. On the other hand, you have the finer, more desireable blowjobs where you are much more relaxed, take your time and truly enjoy the whole sexual experience much more, such as one done privately with some extremely hot girl you are dating. In turn, this compares with the finer, more expensive, quality bourbons which are poured into nice snifters or tumblers and sipped slowly at a special time and enjoyed much more- such as with fine Kentucky sipping whiskey. At this point someone asked "Elvis" if this meant that a quality blowjob meant you had a "sipping penis" and the group consensus was yes, indeed. A fine, quality blowjob was indicative of a "sipping penis". Of course, when "Elvis" used the term with his southern drawl, it was soon emulated with the spelling "sippin" and the penis term likewise pronounced in accord with the dialect.

Jennifer and I went on vacation. We spent the weekend in her folks' cabin and while watching the sun set on the porch, she gave me a knob job. Man, that was the best BJ I've ever had... she was truly sippin' penis!

by Frank Klaune December 16, 2004

erection rejection

1) When standing in public with an intentionally huge bulge in your pants so that your girl (or any girl) can plainly see your state of excitement, and such girl(s) ignore you.

2) When dirty dancing with your girlfriend and you rub your big ol doinker against her leg (or any other body part) and she is turned off (not attracted to) your ovations.

Man, I really had blueballs the other day after Jen gave me erection rejection.

by Frank Klaune October 20, 2004

farmer snort

Plugging one nostril by placing the index finger on it while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal mucus on the ground. The "farmer snort" is a quick, efficient way to blow your nose. Unfortunately, it's also a quick, efficient way to guarantee you won't get a second date either.

Damn, Frank was pretty glued when he was at Mike's house. First he farted out loud, then he did a farmer snort on the living room carpet. Mike dial toned him on the spot.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

in the tank

Broken, hopeless, ruined. Synonyms: screwed up or fucked up.

Damn! Frank was going to have a big outdoor barbecue this weekend but when the forecast called for rain, he knew his plans were in the tank.

Frank started his car, depressed the accelerator to the floor and shifted back and forth between "R" and "D". Now his transmission is in the tank.

by Frank Klaune April 29, 2005

quim and tonic

Humorous mismangulation of "gin and tonic". The term indicates a high degree of drunkenness followed by sex with a woman. It seems to specifically imply a man who is highly drunk performing oral sex on a woman. The tonic may, or may not be drank while performing the oral sex.

Damn, I wondered where Frank went at the party, so I walked out to the porch. He was so damn drunk out there with some chick on the porch swing. She was moaning out loud as he was getting some quim and tonic.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

lipstick on your dipstick

Does this really need an explanation? It seems to be used primarily when lecherous drunks are sitting at a bar and a hot bitch walks in.

(Drunks talking in a bar as the hot bitch walks in)...

"Damn, Frank. Check out what just came in the door! Man.... How'd you like to get her lipstick on your dipstick?"

by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005