frank klaune's definitions

gourd

Slang for the head (the one that rides on your shoulders, that is). See noggin.

Damn, Frank survived that car accident, but he really banged up his gourd.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

chappies

An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.

"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

power shit

n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.

Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

palm balm

Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.

Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

snorgasm

Frat-house term for an unsatisfactory orgasm. The term is often used to describe a relatively disappointing ejaculation (cum shot) in a pornographic movie.

Man, Frank bought that French porn movie and we thought it was going to be real cool, but in the end, it was nothing but a snorgasm.

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

farmer snort

Plugging one nostril by placing the index finger on it while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal mucus on the ground. The "farmer snort" is a quick, efficient way to blow your nose. Unfortunately, it's also a quick, efficient way to guarantee you won't get a second date either.

Damn, Frank was pretty glued when he was at Mike's house. First he farted out loud, then he did a farmer snort on the living room carpet. Mike dial toned him on the spot.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005