frank klaune's definitions

donger

How do you explain it? When playing golf, each of the guys tees off, plays the fairway and finishes with a final putt. The scorekeeper then tallies everyone's score for that hole. The person with the highest (worst) score for that hole must play the entire next hole with their penis protruding from their pants. Thus, the loser of that hole is "the donger".

Man, Frank sucks at golf. He was the donger so much last week he sunburned his dick!

by Frank Klaune May 28, 2004

blastus

Aside from being the name of a biblical character, "blastus" is another term designating a type of fart. A very large amount of intestinal gas is expelled at considerable force. As the flattus is violently expelled through the anus, the high amplitude oscillation of the sphincter results in a great, explosive, low tone of frightful volume. The term may also be applied as a proper noun as necessary.

Grotee let loose (with a "blastus") and it shook the walls. That's why they call him Blastus.

by Frank Klaune October 18, 2004

erection rejection

1) When standing in public with an intentionally huge bulge in your pants so that your girl (or any girl) can plainly see your state of excitement, and such girl(s) ignore you.

2) When dirty dancing with your girlfriend and you rub your big ol doinker against her leg (or any other body part) and she is turned off (not attracted to) your ovations.

Man, I really had blueballs the other day after Jen gave me erection rejection.

by Frank Klaune October 20, 2004

first cut them off then flip them off

The phrase is used as advice for impatient drivers (usually impatient, incompetant yuppy sorts in overly expensive cars) who hesitate when a much slower car approaches the intersection (usually driven by an old fart with a handicapped sign on the mirror). If the yuppy waits, he will inevitably be trapped behind the slow old fart for a long time. Thus the advice, "first cut them off, then flip them off" intended to not only offend the other driver by cutting them off, but also to infuriate them by giving them "the bird" immediately thereafter. A totally un-called-for move which is very hilarious, it is also summed up by the phrase, "those who hesitate, wait". Either phrase perhaps best summarizes the attitude of extreme, offensive driving- skills not taught in your average Driver's Ed Class.

"Frank slowed down at the intersection, but when he saw that handicapped sign on the approaching car in the cross traffic, he gunned it without stopping. As the tires squealed around the corner, he rolled the window down and flipped off the cross traffic. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replied, "first cut them off, then flip them off". Man, Frank is an asshole!"

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

palm balm

Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.

Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

scratch the patch

Literally, for one to "scratch where it itches", in particular to scratch the genital area. Often seen as a sign of some disgusting disease or STD.

Man, Frank was picking up that chick in the bar, but when he saw her scratch the patch, he flipped her off and left. I think he figured she had VD or crabs or something.

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

Harry Palmer

The protagonist of K.J. Rowling's book. This ignorant teenage zitfaced twit received international acclaim for his masturbatory tendencies.

Man, did you read Rowling's latest Harry Palmer book?

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004