frank klaune's definitions

liquid thunder

Low viscosity excrement. The term "liquid thunder" is mainly used when describing loud, nasty shitting done by small babies.

Damn, Frank handed me the baby but just as soon as he did that I noticed there was liquid thunder running down the kid's leg.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

longshot

Contest similar to "silly swords" or "pissing contest" where two (or more) males stand behind a straight line and urinate as hard as they can. The winner of "longshot" is the one who is able to piss the farthest.

"Mike and Frank were in the back yard playing longshot. Mike won, but I think he shit his pants straining."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

SuperSlap

A difficult maneuver in which one person repeatedly slaps the face of another in a furiously rapid pace. Usually done so quickly that the hand is almost a blur.

"Frank just superslapped the dumbass who insulted him."

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

shit and shove it

Humourous phrase relating to an exasperating incident. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a sultry August afternoon, Winky was riding in the back seat of the limosine as it cruised down the highway. He suggested to his driver, "It's almost noon. Find a place to stop for lunch." The driver drove on, eyeing the countryside with no rest area to be found. About 11:45, Winky said, "Okay now, find a roadside stop for lunch" and the driver continued to search as he drove on. Around 12:45, Winky now exasperatedly said, "Stop at the nearest stop. We WILL have lunch." The poor driver still didn't see a roadside stop, so when they drove through a small town, Winky excoriated his driver mercilessly saying, "I told you already to find a place to stop for lunch, damnit." The hapless driver shot back, "I've been looking and looking but honest... there hasn't been any rest areas!' At this, Winky angrily ordered the driver to pull into the little city square they were approaching. There, at theat unlikely location they all had a very late lunch. They then loaded the cooler back into the limosine and proceeded out of the little Nowheres-Ville in which they had their impromptu lunch. About a mile out of the town, they finally happened upon a roadside stop. After hours of hapless travelling without respite, the poor driver announced to Winky, "Hey, there's a roadside stop." Upon seeing the sign on the side of the road, Winky shot back, "OH SHIT AND SHOVE IT!"

Frank first had a check engine light. Then he got a brake light. Then an alternator light and an oli light. When the seat belt light went on, he got out, put a brick on the gas pedal, reached through the window and dropped the lever into "Drive". As the car squealed off the cliff, he yelled after it, "SHIT AND SHOVE IT".

by Frank Klaune April 17, 2005

squibbler

One of a number of terms pertaining to the classification of various kinds of farts. A squibbler indicates the rather anemic sound of a small amount of intestinal gas released in a rather tentative, timid manner resulting in a high-pitched, warbling, somewhat bubbly sound of relatively short duration.

"Frank just let a squibbler, but damn, did it stink!"

by Frank Klaune November 8, 2003

clown shit

n. Worthless junk. Something which is broken, cheap or substandard can be said to be "clown shit."

Damn, Frank is sure a Chevy guy. To him, all Fords are clown shit.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005