frank klaune's definitions

palm balm

Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.

Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

liquid thunder

Low viscosity excrement. The term "liquid thunder" is mainly used when describing loud, nasty shitting done by small babies.

Damn, Frank handed me the baby but just as soon as he did that I noticed there was liquid thunder running down the kid's leg.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

pissed up

Yet another term designating a very high level of inebriation / drunkenness.

Damn, Frank came home all pissed up last night and passed out in his front yard. What an idiot.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

squirts, the

Excessively moist excrement which causes occasional accidental releases of liquid shit in your shorts. Commonly called the "Hershey Squirts", "the shits" or "the trots", "the squirts" are marked by the perceived need to pass a fart, and while attempting to fart, shitting one's drawers.

"I ate that damn crap they served up, and it was so greasy, that now I've got the squirts all night long."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

butt rust

The off-brown discoloration inside the undershorts. Butt rust, also known as "skid mark" is usually the result of high pressure farting and / or lack of sufficient wiping of the anus.

"Damn, Frank sure has butt rust on his undies here."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

bouquet of penises

A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.

The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.

by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004