A lukewarm dickhead who pathetically and totally illogically cancels his holiday due to rain at home. The prime example of this ridiculous class of individual is Fishy Macswell, the world's ugliest wanker, who put off his departure by an entire day because he was terrified of getting wet walking 20 feet from his house to his van.
I could almost understand cancelling a holiday if it was raining in the place of destination. But to cancel because of rain at home takes a world-class weather wuss.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
by flappy dickwad August 16, 2009
A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
by flappy dickwad May 06, 2009
A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009