Term used in referring to an urban myth according to which you may drown if you swim too soon after a meal; apparently you get a cramp and promptly go kerplunk to the bottom. The safe time after the meal, when you can safely swim again, is said to be one hour in Northern Europe, while in Hispanic culture it is often said to be three hours, which is longer than most people spend at the beach. Thought up way back when by some lazy mom who wanted to take a nap in the sun and couldn't bother her ass to look out for the kids; unfortunately it has entered the folk wisdom and some adults end up believing it. Cramps can actually afflict a person at any time and do not adversely affect one's buoyancy in the water. Neither do they do too much damage to your swimming skills, unless perhaps you are participating in an Olympic event. They are more likely to happen as a reaction to exposure to cold water. If you are in an environment where, perhaps due to currents, a cramp could be the difference between life and death, you shouldn't be there, cramps or no cramps. Just ask yourself; have you ever heard a pathologist or coroner announce that the cause of someone's death was "swimming on a full stomach"? No, I didn't think so.
Jimmy was running and screaming along the shore and his mommy was feeling lazy and couldn't be bothered looking out for him, so she invoked Drowns Syndrome.
by Fearman September 14, 2007
Urban myth that blames drowning incidents on swimmers entering the water too soon after a meal; supposedly you get cramps and go kerplunk to the bottom. Used by lazy parents who want to get some decent shut-eye after a picnic. Some adults go on actually believing it too. In fact, cramps can affect you at any time and not particularly after a meal; if they hit you in the water they will not adversely affect your buoyancy nor even do too much damage to your swimming skills. If you are in water where, perhaps due to currents, this affliction would likely make the difference between life and death, you shouldn't be there, cramps or no cramps.
Just ask yourself; what do you think the odds would be if you went up to a coroner or pathologist and asked them if they had ever filed a cause of someone's death as "swimming on a full stomach?" No, I didn't think so.
Just ask yourself; what do you think the odds would be if you went up to a coroner or pathologist and asked them if they had ever filed a cause of someone's death as "swimming on a full stomach?" No, I didn't think so.
Jimmy was screaming and running along the water's edge and his mum was too fat and lazy to watch out for her kids like she ought to, so she invoked Drowns Syndrome.
by Fearman September 14, 2007
Local term for a digital counter with a green readout submerged in the River Liffey immediately upstream of O'Connell Bridge, Dublin, Ireland some time in the mid-1990s and intended to count away the remaining seconds to the start of the year 2000 CE. Within a matter of weeks it was clogged up with scum and dirt, broke down and had to be removed.
by Fearman November 14, 2007
An Oxfam shyster is someone who tries to get a further discount in a charity shop (which may or may not be a branch of Oxfam) or who attempts to use the shop as a rubbish bin. Typical tactics include yelling, "I want to donate these, thank you!", leaving a large bag of (say) books at the counter and scooting out the door. Closer examination reveals a single layer of halfway good books (or just covers) overlying a mass of unsaleable and often physically unreadable mulch. The shop is left to discard the mulch because the Oxfam shyster couldn't bother their pretty little fat white arse to take the stuff to the dump themselves. Unlike the private citizen, the shop, being a charity, is (at least under Irish/EU law, dunno about America) obliged to pay a heavy charge on recycling, but who cares? As long as the Oxfam shyster gets their narcissistic business over and done with, that's fine with them, they're all right, Jack, and that's all that matters.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
An Oxfam shyster is the lowest of the low.
by Fearman February 01, 2008
Someone who looks down their nose on those more wealthy, simply because they are more wealthy. Inverted snobs staunchly refuse to recognise that their form of snobbery is every bit as superficial and silly as the other kind ... the only difference is, the inverted variety helps keep its adherents down on the bread line.
Don't expect to find Mary in one of the better pubs. She's an inverted snob. She'd rather have cheap beer and mould any day of the week.
by Fearman October 15, 2007
May be abbreiviated as "Amish". Something incredibly stupid that occurs to spoil an otherwise perfect situation. After an Amish custom of leaving deliberate skips in the pattern of quilts, lest a perfect design make the Almighty jealous.
When we drove to Scotland for the weekend, my forgetting to fill the tank before going about the Highlands was the Amish mistake of the outing.
by Fearman August 06, 2007
Vast entity seeking to re-enter the stream of terrestrial time-space, as revealed in the visionary works of H. P. Lovecraft. Gibbous, vast, eldritch, gibbering, and infinitely rebulbulous in his extra-terrestrial physics and non-Euclidean geometry. His feelers extend to all the best dinner parties where the unsuspecting taste him in the wine, rip off their clothes and expose the darkest secrets of their splenetic nightmares. The best friend of necrotic occultists everywhere. His friends all call him "Percy". Will sign copies of the Necronomicon for free, with heart-felt dedications ... if you dare look him in his extra-cosmic face.
Chthulhu ... the master of ectopic time.
by Fearman August 25, 2007