wounded girlzelle

A girlfriend who will, through misrepresentation and exaggeration, make her boyfriend out to be a monstrous bastard in order to:
1) get sympathetic attention
2) prevent her gfs from ever getting close to her boyfriend.

This will backfire horribly if any of them give the bastard a chance and get to know him, or if they come on double-dates and realize that the slightest hint of bastardry is never evidenced.
I let her get away with the wounded girlzelle act because I honestly don't want to get to know her friends. From what she tells me, they all sound like a bunch of complete bitches!
by enkephalin07 November 28, 2015
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knee deep in ass

"knee deep in ass", "knee deep in my/your/his/her/their ass"

To get knee deep in someone's ass is to deliver an extensive verbal reprimand with such fervent displeasure that the recipient feels violated.

see also called out on the carpet
That text was probably an accident, but I have to uphold my authority, so I'm gonna get him in here to get knee deep in his ass (knee deep in ass) over it for the next hour.
by enkephalin07 June 29, 2016
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table flipper

1) a statement, behavior or event that induces anger intense enough to table flip. This could be something extreme enough in of its own, or just the straw the broke the camel's back.

2) an individual characterized by a tendency to flip tables (literally or figuratively.)
1) When my ex with benefits hooked up with that fuckboy, that irked me. When she called to talk WHILE THEY WERE FUCKING, that was the table flipper!

2) Wait, boss isn't letting us go until 7PM? After all we've done? Ohhhhh, you can that tell to Paul if you want to see him flip a table.
by enkephalin07 November 28, 2015
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premature withdrawal

The act of pulling out in expectation of ejaculation that doesn't arrive. After doing so, a male has to decide whether he's close enough to pump it out by hand, or go back in until he's genuinely ready.

The former is the safer choice, because a premature withdrawal leaves the man less trusting of his timing for the rest of the sexual encounter.
I didn't think it was safe to go back in after a premature withdrawal. Fortunately her backdoor was open to finish in.
by enkephalin07 November 27, 2015
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Pete

Short for Peter. Peters don't tent to response to diminutive forms of their name, but they also don't overcompensate with self-promotion, such as diminutive Pete does.
"So what did you think of Pete in bed?"
"I know how he is in bed. That's why I call him Peter."
by enkephalin07 March 04, 2022
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Necropancy

The act of drawing forth shed lower body garments from the bottom of the clothes pile, and making them WALK AGAIN!
I think Carl has given his boxers a second life. He has the smell of necropancy about him.
by enkephalin07 August 19, 2016
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Walk blocker

A slow walker, usually a tourist, who walks with other slow walkers in such a loosely spaced row as to obstruct the entire sidewalk, so there isn't any way for a swifter walker, who usually has actual shit to get done, can bypass them without appearing to be the inconsiderate one. The more obese the walkers, the more space the can block and the slower they amble.
It's another festival week, so I won't be able to get anywhere without diving through families of vacant-eyed, mouthbreathing walk blockers to get down the street. And of course they look at me like I'm intruding on the sidewalk space they, as tourists, are entitled to.
by enkephalin07 November 27, 2015
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