enkephalin07's definitions

wounded girlzelle

A girlfriend who will, through misrepresentation and exaggeration, make her boyfriend out to be a monstrous bastard in order to:
1) get sympathetic attention
2) prevent her gfs from ever getting close to her boyfriend.

This will backfire horribly if any of them give the bastard a chance and get to know him, or if they come on double-dates and realize that the slightest hint of bastardry is never evidenced.

I let her get away with the wounded girlzelle act because I honestly don't want to get to know her friends. From what she tells me, they all sound like a bunch of complete bitches!

by enkephalin07 March 2, 2016

Pete

Short for Peter. Peters don't tent to response to diminutive forms of their name, but they also don't overcompensate with self-promotion, such as diminutive Pete does.

"So what did you think of Pete in bed?"
"I know how he is in bed. That's why I call him Peter."

by enkephalin07 March 4, 2022

aural dyslexia

A momentary fugue characterized by a lapse of comprehension in verbal communication in a language the listener is normally fluent in. The individual words may be understood, but somehow they fail to coalesce in meaning.

Sometimes this occurs from a statement made completely out of context, but it can also spontaneously arise from an otherwise clear flow of conversation.

"Don't make her laugh, though. You won't like the sound of it."
"...what?"
"repeats verbatim"
"Don't repeat it, rephrase it! I'm having aural dyslexia."

by enkephalin07 March 1, 2016

rathole file

This is where documents procrastinate after apathetic organization has rodented (is that a word yet? I mean ferreted and squirreled are verbs, but there are plenty of rodents that succinctly define the behavior) them away to an innocuous corner of of an administrative employee's office.

How did you find the Jonathon estate contract? That wasn't in his folder.

I just dug it out of the rathole file. Looks like the last signature on it is five years old.

by enkephalin07 August 19, 2023

fauxtobomb

A photobomb not only staged, but lacking any appearance of spontaneity. The prototypical photobomb from which the word derived was staged, but achieved the desired spontaneity by placing the smiling stingray against the female subjects' shoulders.

Celebrities who regularly perform photobombs for fans and memetic exposure may become adept at appearing genuine, some don't even attempt it, and some truly have the prankster spirit and timing to interject spontaneously. Other times, a celebrity photobomb may simply be an opportunistic selfie.

A photobomb's authenticity may become questionable due to image cropping; a visual composition that gives equal weight to the photobomber gives the impression the shot was taken to intentionally include them.

Jimmy Fallon thinks that if he stages enough fauxtobombs, one of them will become viral. But they all have the same expression and placement, all taken at a tourist destination.

by enkephalin07 March 2, 2016

shit rolls down hill

In military parlance it means anything crappy coming from the top of the chain of command will hit everyone down to the bottom. This includes dumbass decision making, disciplinary actions, or simply a superior taking his frustrations out on subordinates.

Privates, I'm knee deep in your ass right now because the 1st Sgt was knee-deep in my ass this morning, and shit rolls down hill!

by enkephalin07 June 29, 2016

Top Brass

The top of the military chain of command, the ones who report directly to The DoD, POTUS and Congress.

The top brass are those guys qualified by regulations to wear the most bling on their uniforms.

by enkephalin07 March 2, 2016