Definitions by eli jackson

cargaritas 

When all the bars are closed because of carona virus but they sell drinks to go in styrofoam cups and you drink them driving around in your car because you’re tired of being at home.

Me: are you done with with work? Let’s go get some cargaritas.

Her: YAHTZEE, I’ll grab some hand sanitizer.

cargaritas by eli jackson March 30, 2020

jackoff hands 

the way that your hands smell when you just get done masturbating. its a combination of spit and dick.

eli: whats up dude
*hand shake*
michael: oh sick dude, whats all over your hands? smells like shit
eli: oh, i was jacking off on my way over here.
michael: jackoff hands!!

jackoff hands by eli jackson April 4, 2009

straight freaked 

incredibly intoxicated, usually to the point that you cannot speak or think.

chris: where'd you party last night? by the time i saw you, you were wobbly-bonesin'

eli: oooo yeah, i was straight freaked.

straight freaked by eli jackson September 3, 2007

screamer 

an extremely strong alcoholic beverage.

"damn, preston is making screamers tonight"

screamer by eli jackson June 29, 2007

fakin' a duke 

when you tell your girlfriend that you have to take a shit but you really go into the bathroom to jack-off

"Ashley and I were watching a clockwork orange last night and i totally ended up fakin' a duke after that rape scene"

fakin' a duke by eli jackson June 29, 2007