cirdellin's definitions

Spousal Arousal

The very welcome sense of excitement when one is turned on by one's partner. It often occurs suddenly and unpredictably after long periods of the couple's intimate complacency. It can sometimes happen when one of the partners mistakes his or her spouse for another person.

Felicia: "What's that look for?"

Horatio: "Your shoulders look really nice today."

Felicia (purring now): mm mm spousal arousal, huh?

Horatio (panting now); Uh huh.

by Cirdellin January 12, 2010

Ping pong ball season

Late fall, winter and early spring in the upper Midwest. The name derives from the off-white sky, horizon and ground that makes delineating the three virtually impossible. One feels that they are trapped inside of a table tennis ball.

"I can't stand this weather. Everything is coated with the same awful color."

"That's what you get this time of year in Cleveland. What did you expect? It's ping pong ball season."

by Cirdellin January 4, 2010

Octaphilia

The perverse desire to emulate fashion, hair and music from the 1980's despite severe social criticisms for doing so.

"Patty what are you doing? The big shoulder pads, the big sometimes blue or green hair? What's up with your boyfriend too with the eyeliner? Don't you see that people are laughing at you?"

"Well my boyfriend still likes Boy George and Wham and I still like Pat Benatar and Dynasty and I think that blue hair is my best color. Get with it Suzie."

"Get with it?!!!! I hated that stuff even then! Your octaphilia is out of control!"

by Cirdellin January 4, 2010

Jane Krakowski Effect

Named after the Ally McBeal series actress, this is a condition in which men literally stop in their tracks when looking at a woman that is completely physically stunning and flawless. It is sometimes marked by the loss of peripheral consciousness for hours or days as the male stares transfixed, feeling no pain nor hunger nor any sense of responsibility to attend to necessary matters. In war, the use of Ms Krakowski directly, via her surrogates, or her images to immobilize the enemy is expressly forbidden under any and all of the Geneva Convention agreements.

"Whoa Jake...You zoned out dude. One minute you were fine and the next you were comatose. Was it that blonde in the blue miniskirt?"

(Still in something of a stupor) "Yeah. I think so."

"Jane Krakowski Effect huh?"

(Beside himself now) "Is she here? The real one? Where?" (Jake fades out again lost in a mental image)

"Oh the blessing and curse of having the angel Jane Krakowski and her ilk living amongst us." (Jake's friend laments)

by Cirdellin December 29, 2009

Kirsten Dunst Syndrome

A woman who by all objective standards is quite beautiful but retains a subtle indescribable flaw that somehow undermines her overall beauty. It is also sometimes known as Miley Cyrus Syndrome.

"Dude what's wrong with you? How could you break up with Carol? She is a fox!"

"I don't know. There was something about her mouth that bugged me. I can't explain it."

(Pensive now) Yeah I think I get what you're saying now. I sort of noticed that too.

"It's like Kirsten Dunst Syndrome, I guess"

"You mean Miley Cyrus syndrome?"

"Same thing...whatever."

by Cirdellin December 23, 2009

Master lesbianator

The older woman in some pornographic movies who orchestrates lesbian sex between two or more much younger women. Generally one or more of these younger women insist that they are straight. It is the master lesbianator's job to at first scold, then cajole, then direct the younger women in their lovemaking techniques. These women learn very quickly under her more mature tutelage. It is customary for the master lesbianator to sensitively praise the often formerly straight women after completion.

"Hey what's this old broad doing in this lesbian scene?"

"She's the master lesbianator. The other girls wouldn't know what to do without her."

"You're kidding me right?"

"I wish. The director is trying to be artsy."

by Cirdellin January 6, 2010

Winter wonderland psychosis

The phenomenon in which a person begins to see the cold, the snow and the gray sky as beautiful. Often they will describe the cold as "invigorating", the snow as "crystal blue" and the frigid season as "cozy". The use of these descriptors for the early months of the year is, in fact, diagnostic for this malady. The only effective treatment is a move to a warmer clime.

Lesley (euphorically giggling) "I love the crunch of the crystal blue snow under my feet when I walk to my car. The season is so invigorating! Tonight I want to stay in and make cocoa for the whole neighborhood!"

"That's it. You have to see a professional. You have winter wonderland psychosis."

by Cirdellin January 18, 2010