cirdellin's definitions

Self inflicted complaint blockage

The reluctance to report a serious work issue for fear that those reading or hearing the complaint will view the issue as petty. The complainant fears that he or she will be viewed forevermore as a sniveling weasel. The result is that the issue will remain unresolved until it takes on another unrelated dimension that is extremely damaging to the workplace. At this point, another worker will report the original complaint and will be given full credit for saving the company.

Worker 1: "I think that we have to let people in HR know what Stacey and Ed have been up to. She's getting away with murder. She's using him, he's letting her and both of them are married anyway."

Worker 2: "There's no way I'm going to bring up favoritism and their adolescent extramarital dalliances to HR."

Worker 1: "Self inflicted complaint blockage?"

Worker 2: "You got it."

by Cirdellin January 15, 2010

arousal repulsion cycling

What a man feels when he is alternately extremely attracted to a particular woman's unimaginably hot body but also completely disgusted by her unimaginably ugly face. This generally produces disorientation in the first few episodes but can sometimes later reshape sexual attraction as the ugly face becomes a fetish of sorts.

"Hey Jake, check out the smoking hot babe walking down the beach."

"That one walking away?"

"Oh yeah I am going to go meet her right now!"

(Moments later) "Hey baby. my name's Tony." (She turns around and Tony almost throws up. She walks away only to appear smoking hot again. The arousal repulsion cycling continues on like this all day long.)

by cirdellin December 22, 2009

Spousal catfight arousal

The complicated excitement a man feels when seeing his wife (or girlfriend) in a physical altercation with another woman. The condition is heightened when there is the real possibility for intimate sensual contact between the two combatants.

"Hey come quick, Jen had it with your wife's attitude and it looks like she has Lesley pinned down. You might want to end this."

"Are you kidding?"

"Spousal catfight arousal?"

"Damn straight. I need a closer view."

by Cirdellin December 29, 2009

Chompophobia

The irrational fear men often feel toward outhouses. Normally it stems from the associated fear that there may be an unseen alligator or crocodile somewhere below.

"Why did Elmer have to buy one of them newfangled INDOOR toilets?"

"cause me and Clem I heard he has Chompophobia."

"I reckon that's a mighty wise choice then. I heard something peculiar rustlin' in my own outdoor facility this morning."

(Collective shiver)

by Cirdellin December 19, 2009

Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.

Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Fergie Pudding

A sweet Christmas concoction that has essentially the same recipe as figgy pudding but replaces the figs with black eyed peas.

"Hey Stacy Ann Ferguson (Fergie's full name), put out more of that Fergie pudding!"

"Hey I don't put out for anybody."

"OK, sorry only it is so sweet and delicious...please?"

"That's better."

by Cirdellin December 28, 2009

Garbage Video Toilet

The unrecognized commode that is effectively the fifth member of the 90's rock band "Garbage". The receptacle makes uncredited and inexplicable appearances in a disproportionate number of the band's videos.

"I can't believe it. This is the fifth Garbage video I've seen today and there's that pesky toilet again. WHY?"

"That's the Garbage Video Toilet. I hear the band just likes the little guy."

"They might as well give it a guitar."

by Cirdellin January 7, 2010