cirdellin's definitions

Master lesbianator

The older woman in some pornographic movies who orchestrates lesbian sex between two or more much younger women. Generally one or more of these younger women insist that they are straight. It is the master lesbianator's job to at first scold, then cajole, then direct the younger women in their lovemaking techniques. These women learn very quickly under her more mature tutelage. It is customary for the master lesbianator to sensitively praise the often formerly straight women after completion.

"Hey what's this old broad doing in this lesbian scene?"

"She's the master lesbianator. The other girls wouldn't know what to do without her."

"You're kidding me right?"

"I wish. The director is trying to be artsy."

by Cirdellin January 6, 2010

Validation by proxy

To feel better about oneself by viewing oneself not as an individual but as part of a larger group. In this state, one need not accomplish anything oneself but can take great pride in the accomplishments of others as though they are personal accomplishments because the group is viewed a personal extension.

'Yea we won!"

"No the Steelers won. You just watched the game on TV."

"Same thing."

"No It's not, it's your validation by proxy."

by Cirdellin January 17, 2010

Reltermrat

A trendy new concision for the pathological condition known as "Relationship Termination Rationalization". This device is used by the monogamously adverse to psychologically justify breaking up with someone without having any genuinely compelling reason for doing so.

"Why'd you break up with Jill?"

"She was way too Jedi for me."

"What the Hell does THAT even Mean? I think you're just a reltermrat"

"Shut up."

"Can I ask her out then?"

"Absolutely not!"

by Cirdellin December 28, 2009

NPR Rush Whiplash

The sense of absolute confusion that one feels when flipping the radio dial from National Public Radio directly to the Rush Limbaugh or any other right wing radio show. This has been known to cause liberals to feverishly vote for Barbra Streisand for every elected office on their ballots. In their delirium and panic in this condition, conservatives tend to vote for Sarah Palin's youngest child Trig. The ailment is easily treated by a steady diet of smooth jazz.

"I don't know what to do. I want to be fair about immigration but I am really concerned about illegal Lithuanians getting access to our health care system."

"You've been listening to NPR and Rush again, haven't you?"

"Yeah I think I have NPR Rush Whiplash."

by Cirdellin January 7, 2010

Hair color paradox

When one is attracted to people with hair colors other than that on one's partner. When ascribed to a large population, it is when people of a particular region or country are attracted to people whose hair color is rarely observed.

"Hans, I am happy that you are enjoying your time in Ireland but many women are growing uncomfortable by your relentless staring. Kelly told me that it is freaking her out."

"I am sorry Patrick but one rarely sees such beautiful red haired women in my native Germany. This is indeed a hair color paradox."

by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.

Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Fergie Pudding

A sweet Christmas concoction that has essentially the same recipe as figgy pudding but replaces the figs with black eyed peas.

"Hey Stacy Ann Ferguson (Fergie's full name), put out more of that Fergie pudding!"

"Hey I don't put out for anybody."

"OK, sorry only it is so sweet and delicious...please?"

"That's better."

by Cirdellin December 28, 2009