chris wheelie's definitions

weak willy

An unfortunate medical condition often leading to the sufferer experiencing a drippy tiddler. Often resulting in having to wear wet pants, which give off acrid steam if too close to a radiator.
Origin: Eck Static and Bloomin' Press of The Filth.

B.P. "I once pissed me pants at school"
Eck: "what was it, Weak Willy? Weak Willy, eh?"

by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

Gratey

In general terms, an uncomfortable place. A dusty, awkward corner. Usually the gap sometimes created between a single bed when moved slightly away from the wall.

"What's up with you? Did you get out of the wrong side of bed this morning?"
"Certainly did. I woke up to find myself halfway down the gratey!"

by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

dung tardis

Vulgar term for the anus, rectum and bowels. Named after the main character's transportation machine in the popular UK Sci-Fi programme "Dr.Who". The 'tardis' held a lot more than it looked from the outside.

The customs officer got ready for another trip into the dung tardis.

by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

SEVEN SHADES OF SHIT

The ultimate degree to which an individual is pummelled/ kicked-in/ beaten-up... The last word in a complete and utter kicking... Of UK origin but, believe me, there is no escape...

Goodness! You should've seen those old/bald geezers going mental... After reading that embarrassing and patronizing claptrap penned by Ethan P., the creaky fellas went apeshit and kicked seven shades of shit out of him. Everyone applauded, including the pacifists. That'll make the ageist cunt think twice before spouting such drivel again.

by Chris Wheelie September 16, 2005

rainbow party

In the US, it is apparently a euphemism (or media-invented myth)for rather lewd naughtiness (see all other definitions). In the UK, it means jelly, ice-cream and dressing-up as Zippy, Bungle, Geoffrey, George, Rod, Jane or Freddy and singing "The Wheels on the Bus". The latter seems condusive to a much more satisfying experience.

Yank: Dude, I'm so emotionally crippled and shallow, I went to this badass Rainbow Party last night. Now I feel even more empty and my dick's kinda itchy.
Limey: I say, old bean, I had a Rainbow Party last week! We all had a beezer time, despite Bungle having eaten too much jelly and ice-cream.

by chris wheelie July 15, 2008

plink

The odd little stalk atop of genuine beret. Also a tuft of stray hair that simply refuses to lie flat. Or a stalk on a piece of fruit you have to pull off prior to consumption (say, on an apple or strawberry).

"Zat is not mon beret, zere is no plink!"
"All set for the job interview, except for this darn plink won't stay down!"
"It's all right, grandad, I've mushed-up all your fruit and de-plinked it".

by chris wheelie June 17, 2005

Poor Man's Custard

A term for white sauce, used in cookery. Also slang for sperm, due to its appearance and consistancy.

He drizzled the poor man's custard on to her chops.

by chris wheelie April 21, 2005