chris firth's definitions

real time

The subjective experience of time passing confirmed as about right by external, objective measuring criteria ie an hour feels about like an hour, and this is confirmed by looking at a clock, where an hour has indeed been measured as having passed. As opposed to (e-time), where time seems to pass at a quicker or slower rate than external measuring systems would suggest.

1. I had an hour real time left at work - and it passed in exactly an hour on the clock.
2. It seemed I'd only been online a few minutes real time, but when I looked at the clock it had been three hours.

by chris firth September 9, 2006

lalah

A kindly, jovial term for a British (second generation plus) Asian Muslim.

1. Fagger: I'm out of cigarettes and need a smoke.
Fagger's Mate: Ha! And all the shops are closed.
Fagger: No they're not. The lalah corner shop is open all night.

2. You've got to watch those lalahs - they all carry knives.

by chris firth November 6, 2006

yorick

somebody whose humour kills a conversation or party; a person who thinks they are incredibly funny and popular, but who everyone else thinks is a real twat. somebody who laughs at their own jokes, but who no one else finds remotely funny. Derived from the dead clown in Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'

Herbert told us this bad joke about a Chinese dyslexic dairy farmer who bought a herd of woks. Nobody laughed at all. He's a right yorick.

by chris firth August 22, 2006

thumb down

1. Verb - to make someone feel sad by dissing their urban dictionarydefinitions anonymously, from a safe distance away with no come back.
2. Noun: a sad, loser, nerdy type who even his own Mum struggles to love.

Mum: You look a bit glum today, petal.
Geeky Kid: Yeah - I added 17 definitions to urban dicitionary dot com and some yorick went and thumb down every one.
Mum: Sometimes I just don't understand what you're saying.
Geeky Kid: (stressing, stomping out of room) See - even you got me as a thumb down!

by chris firth September 22, 2006

good tea

An excellent experience, usuaslly induced by music, especially skiffle music where the T-chest bass sound induces euphoria.

I got a high listening to the good tea band. That skiffle outfit rock da sox. I like that good tea!

by chris firth October 5, 2006

slummer

Somebody who considers themself superior to the working class masses of the UK and who deliberately goes to a naff working class pub or venue for a night's entertainment, merely to wake up thankful the next day that what they experienced isn't actually part of their real lifestyle experience.

Henrietta: Hello, Marmaduke. You look tired. Hectic night?

Marmaduke: Yah. Went incognito up to the council estate and visited a public house doing Karaoke. Smoked forty fags, sang five songs, ate fish and chips and made out with a single parent mother.

Henrietta: Yuk! You slummer.

by chris firth October 14, 2006

chavigoth

An awkward, bumbling bloke who hasn't quite yet decided whether he is a goth or a chav. He wears goth t-shirts, but has a dodgy hairstyle - half cropped half spiked - and secretly wears trainers at home!
Although he loves Buahaha, he can't resist sneaking in the odd DJ Sweetie track on his white i-pod.

Mum: Are you going out tonight, love?

Chavigoth: Yeah. I mean, yah!

Mum: Where will you be going, sweetie.

Chavigoth: Maccy D's. I mean, the Death Midnight Club!

by chris firth September 15, 2006