chris firth's definitions

branwell

After Branwell Bronte.
Yorkshire slang for an intellecual, drug addled, boozed-up waster, (of which there are many here) or one with pretentions of being such - after the infamous opium guzzling brother of the Bronte sisters, who allegedy wrote the novel 'Wuthering Heights but was too wrecked to notice that his sister published it under her name!

(Two old mates meet in a chance encounter at the bar)
Jim-bob: Yo, Marmaduke. How ya doing?
Marmaduke: Hey, I'm fine mate. How's your Ralph?
Jim-bob: Ah, he's always mashed and on the lash these days.
Marmaduke: Yeah, I heard he's turned into a bit of a Branwell.

by chris firth January 25, 2007

real time

The subjective experience of time passing confirmed as about right by external, objective measuring criteria ie an hour feels about like an hour, and this is confirmed by looking at a clock, where an hour has indeed been measured as having passed. As opposed to (e-time), where time seems to pass at a quicker or slower rate than external measuring systems would suggest.

1. I had an hour real time left at work - and it passed in exactly an hour on the clock.
2. It seemed I'd only been online a few minutes real time, but when I looked at the clock it had been three hours.

by chris firth September 9, 2006

lalah

A kindly, jovial term for a British (second generation plus) Asian Muslim.

1. Fagger: I'm out of cigarettes and need a smoke.
Fagger's Mate: Ha! And all the shops are closed.
Fagger: No they're not. The lalah corner shop is open all night.

2. You've got to watch those lalahs - they all carry knives.

by chris firth November 6, 2006

yorick

somebody whose humour kills a conversation or party; a person who thinks they are incredibly funny and popular, but who everyone else thinks is a real twat. somebody who laughs at their own jokes, but who no one else finds remotely funny. Derived from the dead clown in Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'

Herbert told us this bad joke about a Chinese dyslexic dairy farmer who bought a herd of woks. Nobody laughed at all. He's a right yorick.

by chris firth August 22, 2006

e-time

time spent on-line on the www, or on a computer game or computer activity; time experienced subjectively while on line that feels short, but has been much longer in real time

1. in e-time it seemed like I'd been online for 5 minutes, when in real time six hours had passed

2. I spent 2 hours e-time in this beautiful electraglade I stumbled upon.

by chris firth August 14, 2006

thumb down

1. Verb - to make someone feel sad by dissing their urban dictionarydefinitions anonymously, from a safe distance away with no come back.
2. Noun: a sad, loser, nerdy type who even his own Mum struggles to love.

Mum: You look a bit glum today, petal.
Geeky Kid: Yeah - I added 17 definitions to urban dicitionary dot com and some yorick went and thumb down every one.
Mum: Sometimes I just don't understand what you're saying.
Geeky Kid: (stressing, stomping out of room) See - even you got me as a thumb down!

by chris firth September 22, 2006

electraglade

a digital space where a browser or surfer finds something interesting or pleasant, and dwells there quite some e-time, and comes away feeling refreshed or relaxed. Like spending an hour in a quiet forest glade, but in a virtual environment.

1. I came across this really sweet artist's electraglade while browsing on the web last night - I spent hours just looking at the amazing pictures there.

2. Mum: Come on out from that electraglade - your supper's ready.
Kid: coming (click) ...aah. That place was mint.

by chris firth August 14, 2006