First and greatest of superheroes, Superman has been going strong for 75 years and counting and has paved the way for all superheroes that have come since. Possessing both epic ability and epic virtue, Superman defines what it means to be super and inspires us all to be better versions of ourselves.
Superman flies high and prevails against evil with wisdom and might.
Second-most common word in the English language, right after 'fuck'.
What the fuck?!
A rundown, government-subsidized rental unit that constantly requires costly maintenance. Usually occupied by sketchy foreigners whose names do not appear on the lease. Keeps the folks at NASA employed. What better use of an aerospace engineering degree than to be in charge of unclogging space toilets?
MIT-Educated NASA Engineer: The international space station is calling again.
Decorated Air Force Pilot: I'll prepare for launch.
MIT-Educated NASA Engineer: Don't forget the space plunger.
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international space station
mug!
1) To festoon one's testicles with colored lights, evergreen garlands, and tiny Christmas ornaments
2) To punch Santa Claus in the nuts for shortchanging you last Christmas
1) I wanted to make my girlfriend feel merry in the bedroom this Christmas so I decided to deck the balls.
2) In spite of being a good boy, Santa gave me nothing but a pack of underwear last Christmas, so this year I'm gonna wait in ambush in front of the fireplace so that I can deck the balls.
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deck the balls
mug!
What we sometimes called our miniature schnauzer when I was growing up. An all-around hilarious pet name for any dog with a medium- or long-haired coat.
Hey, there, Hairy Ass Truman. Sit. Now roll over. Now shake. Good boy! Here's a Snausage!
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Hairy Ass Truman
mug!
A clever way of saying, "Shit happens."
My portfolio lost 22 percent of its value in the recent market correction. Oh, well: Feces occurs.
When you ooze girl-juices all over your pair of overpriced panties.
Samantha got dressed to the nines --fancy new lingerie and all--for her big date with a hot new stud, but after spending 10 minutes with him, she was so turned on that she completely soiled her $40 pair of panties with her Victoria's Secretions.
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Victoria's Secretions
mug!
