calvinke's definitions

Easter S'mores

S'mores for the Spring: Take gram crackers, a peep, Easter M&M's and put them in a microwave for 12 seconds. Enjoy!

I have all this crappy Easter candy and don't know what to do with it. I know, Easter s'mores!

by calvinke June 16, 2010

Chrismyass

A more modern and less courteous way of saying Bah humbug. A phrase used to show disdain, disinterest, frustration or general irritation with the holiday season. When you can't stand being around insane crowds, bad drivers, fake cheeriness and stupidly decorated houses any more, just yell it at everyone.

Cratchit: Hey neighbor! Have some Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas!
Scrooge: Your wife's cookies suck, your house looks like the holidays vomited on it, and I don't like your family. Chrismyass.

by calvinke December 29, 2010

cross the street

A caution to give someone before they make a racist, sexist or age-inappropriate joke or comment. To look both both ways before saying something that may be offensive or get you beaten up or in trouble for being a racist.

Guy1: "So a Jew, a Black guy and a Hispanic walk into a bar..."
Guy2: "What the hell are you doing? Did you cross the street first?"
Guy1: "Oh sorry. I think we're good"
Guy2: "Thank you. Now proceed with your racism."

by calvinke June 2, 2010

I'd marry into that

When an attractive woman or man is the heir to a dynasty, an empire or has a family with a large business and/or is well connected so that they will most likely have a variety of resources both social and financial. A way to say to I'd hit that, but with a greater level of commitment. They are attractive and rich, but also seem like marriage material. A way to marry into money, opportunities, make connections or achieve fame.

Guy1: "Dude, our waitress is really pretty"
Guy2: "I know, and her parents own the entire chain of these Chinese restaurants.
Guy1: "I'd marry into that."

by calvinke November 20, 2010

won't flush

phrase to add to the end of a sentence in regards to a household appliance to indicate that it has been peed on. Used by a person so drunk, they no longer recognize the proper place to urinate or poop.

Hey man, your DVD player won't flush.

or;
Hey, your clock won't flush.

or;
I was just in the room with the thing over there and your bed won't flush.

or;
I think you need to call someone because I can't get your refrigerator to do the thing and it won't flush.

or;
Man, I'm so drunk I couldn't figure out your Xbox and now it won't flush.

by calvinke March 12, 2011

FFE

Friends frolicing eternally. A friend can be your best friend forever, but if you have to frolic with someone for eternity, they better be worth hanging out with for eternity, rather than just forever. A much better friend than your BFF, or even the BFFF. They are the supreme friend among friends.

Friend1: Hey, i know you've been having a rough week, so I made you blueberry buttermilk cornmeal pancakes for breakfast. And I was going to save that bottle of maple syrup that we got from that from Vermont for a special occasion, but I think this is special enough.
Friend2: Holy fuck. I want to frolic for eternity with you.
Friend1: Well, you're my FFE too.

by calvinke November 11, 2010

peptalk privacy

Talking to self in a bathroom right before peeing, thinking you're alone, either stream of conscious, or words of encouragement. More likely done and less inhibited when drunk.

Guy: I thought I had some peptalk privacy, but I think my boss heard be talking to my dick.

Girl: Please stop talking to me.

by calvinke April 2, 2010