calvinke's definitions

Chrismyass

A more modern and less courteous way of saying Bah humbug. A phrase used to show disdain, disinterest, frustration or general irritation with the holiday season. When you can't stand being around insane crowds, bad drivers, fake cheeriness and stupidly decorated houses any more, just yell it at everyone.

Cratchit: Hey neighbor! Have some Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas!
Scrooge: Your wife's cookies suck, your house looks like the holidays vomited on it, and I don't like your family. Chrismyass.

by calvinke December 29, 2010

FFE

Friends frolicing eternally. A friend can be your best friend forever, but if you have to frolic with someone for eternity, they better be worth hanging out with for eternity, rather than just forever. A much better friend than your BFF, or even the BFFF. They are the supreme friend among friends.

Friend1: Hey, i know you've been having a rough week, so I made you blueberry buttermilk cornmeal pancakes for breakfast. And I was going to save that bottle of maple syrup that we got from that from Vermont for a special occasion, but I think this is special enough.
Friend2: Holy fuck. I want to frolic for eternity with you.
Friend1: Well, you're my FFE too.

by calvinke November 11, 2010

won't flush

phrase to add to the end of a sentence in regards to a household appliance to indicate that it has been peed on. Used by a person so drunk, they no longer recognize the proper place to urinate or poop.

Hey man, your DVD player won't flush.

or;
Hey, your clock won't flush.

or;
I was just in the room with the thing over there and your bed won't flush.

or;
I think you need to call someone because I can't get your refrigerator to do the thing and it won't flush.

or;
Man, I'm so drunk I couldn't figure out your Xbox and now it won't flush.

by calvinke March 12, 2011

cross the street

A caution to give someone before they make a racist, sexist or age-inappropriate joke or comment. To look both both ways before saying something that may be offensive or get you beaten up or in trouble for being a racist.

Guy1: "So a Jew, a Black guy and a Hispanic walk into a bar..."
Guy2: "What the hell are you doing? Did you cross the street first?"
Guy1: "Oh sorry. I think we're good"
Guy2: "Thank you. Now proceed with your racism."

by calvinke June 2, 2010

Over Armour

When people wear Under Armour, or other athletic gear, everywhere they go, at all times, for no reason, even though they are out of shape or are not working out. Commonly seen in grocery stores or malls.

Another implication is that they have just come from the gym and have not yet cleaned themselves.

Often seen on children of rich parents.

G-Man: Are you on your way to the gym?
D-Man: No, I just bought the new Black Ops game. I'll be inside all day.
G-Man: Well that explains your Over Armour

by calvinke February 20, 2011

peptalk privacy

Talking to self in a bathroom right before peeing, thinking you're alone, either stream of conscious, or words of encouragement. More likely done and less inhibited when drunk.

Guy: I thought I had some peptalk privacy, but I think my boss heard be talking to my dick.

Girl: Please stop talking to me.

by calvinke April 2, 2010

Mittens

Minion kittens. When an evil being or entity gathers to them dark forces to do their evil bidding, and all they can get are kittens, they've got mittens.

Also; cats who follow their person around everywhere, as though they intend to be helpful, but really just want to sleep near them.

Sorcerer: "Go, my Mittens, and bring me the Dark Crystal of Power!"

or

Lady: I wanted to go get another cup of coffee, but the mittens will just follow me and meow constantly.

by calvinke February 20, 2011