An imagined court which tries lawsuits against a specific word or phrase which is accused of being illogical, deceptive, fraudulent, or offensive to someone.
Word Court is currently trying the word HAMBURGER, LIPSTICK, BIRTH CONTROL, CRIMINAL JUSTICE, and others.
NARRATOR
Welcome to Word Court, where words go on trial.
SECRETARY
Today, we will hear oral arguments in case number 52-67-42, Consumers v Commercial Users of the word HAMBURGER.
JUDGE WORDY
Mr. Prosecuting Attorney, please state your case.
PROSECUTOR
Your honor and members of the jury. This class action lawsuit is against the individuals, businesses, and corporations which use the word HAMBURGER to get consumers to buy what they call hamburgers, but are really dead cow flesh sandwiches. They do so by indirectly saying that the dead animal flesh is a meat which is or contains HAM. That is a false statement. Ham is more expensive than beef because it is made from a cut of a dead pigs’s leg, processed, and preserved by adding salt and other spices. Ham is made around the world including regional specialties such as Westphalian ham, Spanish jamón, Italian Prosciutto, and Smithfield ham in the US. The curing process takes from 9–months to a year.
JUDGE
Thank you, Mr. Prosecutor. We will now hear the defense attorney.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY
Your honor and members of the jury, the facts you just stated make it clear that the word HAM does not belong in the word HAMBURGER. Hamburgers should be called beefburgers or meatburgers, not HAMBURGERS.
JUDGE
How do you clients plea?
My clients plea "nolo contendere",
and apologize to everyone for having used the word HAMBURGER.
NARRATOR
Welcome to Word Court, where words go on trial.
SECRETARY
Today, we will hear oral arguments in case number 52-67-42, Consumers v Commercial Users of the word HAMBURGER.
JUDGE WORDY
Mr. Prosecuting Attorney, please state your case.
PROSECUTOR
Your honor and members of the jury. This class action lawsuit is against the individuals, businesses, and corporations which use the word HAMBURGER to get consumers to buy what they call hamburgers, but are really dead cow flesh sandwiches. They do so by indirectly saying that the dead animal flesh is a meat which is or contains HAM. That is a false statement. Ham is more expensive than beef because it is made from a cut of a dead pigs’s leg, processed, and preserved by adding salt and other spices. Ham is made around the world including regional specialties such as Westphalian ham, Spanish jamón, Italian Prosciutto, and Smithfield ham in the US. The curing process takes from 9–months to a year.
JUDGE
Thank you, Mr. Prosecutor. We will now hear the defense attorney.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY
Your honor and members of the jury, the facts you just stated make it clear that the word HAM does not belong in the word HAMBURGER. Hamburgers should be called beefburgers or meatburgers, not HAMBURGERS.
JUDGE
How do you clients plea?
My clients plea "nolo contendere",
and apologize to everyone for having used the word HAMBURGER.
by but for April 20, 2019
A witness who saw someone else do something which embarrassed that person and also feels embarrassed for having witnessed what took place and knowing that the person who committed the embarrassing action, or to whom the embarrassing thing happened, saw the ( usually sole ) witness.
by but for February 08, 2018
Knowing that playing music after 11:00 P.M. would be make him illegally happy, the teenage boy raised the volume of the music he was listening to and was legally happy knowing that from 7:00 A.M. to 11:00 P.M. the police, enforcing the laws, allowed anyone to play music below 8 decibels.
by but for October 20, 2017
To get consumers to go buy things,
via the media,
corporations make individuals feel
so superior to most people
they feel disgusted of others
and stop interacting with them.
via the media,
corporations make individuals feel
so superior to most people
they feel disgusted of others
and stop interacting with them.
The glorification of movie stars, and the innate—it seems—cognitive bias that makes everyone think they're better than almost everyone else, help induce "consumer self-isolation".
by but for February 23, 2020
Living by applying the scientific method to make the most important decisions, all along doing all one can to never make a decision based solely on an emotion.
Individuals who live scientifically make the most important decisions only after taking the scientific method's six steps: 1) asking a question, 2) doing background research, 3) constructing a hypothesis, 4) testing the hypothesis by doing an experiment, 5) analyzing the data and drawing a conclusion, and 6) writing down the results.
Scientific living also entails doing a great deal of observation, writing down as much as possible what one perceives, along with prioritizing, planning, and calculating likely outcomes.
The opposite of scientific living is living 'spur of the moment.'
Scientific living also entails doing a great deal of observation, writing down as much as possible what one perceives, along with prioritizing, planning, and calculating likely outcomes.
The opposite of scientific living is living 'spur of the moment.'
by but for January 08, 2018
She is "diff," means she is "different." It is an apocope, a type of word that cuts off the last syllable or syllables of a word; the way bike, (all) caps, deli, demo, diff, dis, exam, fries, gas, info, intro, limo, peds, perp, rehab, rep, specs, stats, and others do.
by but for April 15, 2022
Romantic relationships are a business because every man and every woman in a romantic relationship does all they can to get the most from the other person and give much or little in return. (Dear Urban Dictionary Staff: This definition and the sentence below are edits to my original post)
ROMANCE IS A BUSINESS because many people who fall in love start giving the most they can to the person they fell in love with without asking for something in return, the true purpose at the core of falling in love is always to at some point get or take the most from the person they fell in love with.
by but for February 28, 2020