brett burkhardt's definitions
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.
“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Douche Disputemug. When someone with a hard on grinds it against your ass while dancing, cuddling, spooning, or just standing behind you.
Tanya loved spooning but hated when her boyfriend used it as an excuse to go knocking at the back door all night.
“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”
“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Knocking at the back doormug. We all laughed when she told us that she spent $300 on that blue zebra print dress. For the same price, she could have had 35 dresses exactly like it from the bargain bin at K-Mart.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Fashion Foolmug. Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.
"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the flirt and divertmug. Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.
Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Post Secret Posermug. The things a skank will say to let everyone in the room know she or he will fuck anyone, and I mean anyone, who shows even a little interest. Also the sort of things one would say to attract the attention of a skank.
Common skank calls.
"Who wants to do body shots off of me!"
"Woooo, I'm so drunk, I just want to make out!"
"I don't wear underwear to the bar, it just slows me down."
"You, me, the last bathroom stall on the left, two minutes."
"Your friend is cute, do you two want to come back to my place and tag team me?"
"Who wants to do body shots off of me!"
"Woooo, I'm so drunk, I just want to make out!"
"I don't wear underwear to the bar, it just slows me down."
"You, me, the last bathroom stall on the left, two minutes."
"Your friend is cute, do you two want to come back to my place and tag team me?"
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Skank Callsmug. When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.
He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Slow Burnmug.