bob sometimes's definitions

bird's custard

The thick, creamy sauce that slurps out of a bird when she is aroused (very nice on a piece of apple pie).

"After dinner I enjoyed my aunt's cherry pie with a thick helping of bird's custard"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

Big Muck

Two flattened turds in a bap, covered in bloody pus and soggy mould, available for purchase at a well-known burger chain. Consumed with enthusiasm by plebs who would eat their own bowels if they were packaged in a gaudy fashion.

"Greetings fresh-faced burger bar attendant. Kindly poison me with a Big Muck, if you would be so kind." - "Certainly sir and would you like some scabby fries with your shit or shall I just puke in your face?"

by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004

minipop

(a) Descriptive of a sexy girl of diminutive proportions who (1) would look extremely attractive in a "school uniform/jailbait" situation and (2) looks like they might be up for it. (similar to a laptop or a throwabout

(b) To "crack one off" while contemplating the above. Named after an early Channel 4 program designed to appeal to paedophiles in which under-12s dressed up and performed pop songs.
Please note: A Minipop should not be confused with a "Krankywank" which is something quite different and totally unacceptable.

(A) "Did you see that Lisa Rogers slutting about on the Big Breakfast? Talk about a minipop!"

(B) Watching Britney's "One More Time" video always caused Gervaise to squeeze off a minipop.

by Bob Sometimes June 6, 2005

tickle my turds

An expression of encouragement from a passive gay partner (or possibly from a female buggeree) indicating that they are ready and willing to have their drains cleaned.

"Never mind those celebrities in the jungle, Ant, come back to bed and tickle my turds!"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

shit shunter

A veiny train that pushes the brown express back into the tunnel.

-"Lord Archer, would you kindly turn round so I can clean your drains?"
-"Ok governor, but hurry it up you shit shunter, I have to write two novels by tea time."

by Bob Sometimes September 6, 2004

wank catcher

A toady, sycophant, crawly person.

"Tonight on Question Time we have big-mouthed fuckwit Janet Street-Porter, grinning geek Professor Steven Hawking and Tony Blair's wank catcher, Peter Mandleson."

by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004