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bill cauliflower's definitions

Glumdudgeon

A person who - either due to their naturally-pessimistic personality or by temporary difficult circumstances - is gloomy and miserable, and finds it hard to see the positive side of anything.
"Hey Bill, you seem pretty down, what's going on?"

"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."

"Awww. Sorry to hear that."

"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"

"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
by bill cauliflower January 25, 2024
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inductrination

Inductrination (n.)
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Me: "Hey Dylan, how did Induction Day go at Googbook...?"
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
by bill cauliflower March 7, 2021
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Retrezvous

(1) A meeting with someone in your past, at a location significant to you both; or (2) A secret meeting with an ex, pretty much for horizontal recreation

This word also has the added benefit of a strong linguistic alignment with 'deja vu' (hey, I've been here before...)
"Hi Claire, I know it's been a while, but I have to see you again. Please? I won't tell Amy if you don't tell Brad - can we have a little retrezvous at that hotel we used to go to in the city?"
by bill cauliflower August 13, 2016
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mapographic

Mapographic (n)

A map covering areas such as regions, states, countries, or even the entire world that conveys - using only graphics and minimal text - quite complex data in a very simple and understandable way.

It is essentially an 'infographic', but it is in the form of a map, showing the 'where' as well at the 'what'.
Manager: "Hey Bill, can we show all of the projects we're doing all over the country and all the outputs from each of them on one map...?"

Bill: "Yep, I can do that, and I can put it into a really great Mapographic, which will show everything, everywhere, all at once, and make it simple so everyone can understand..."

Manager: "Yes, that's what we want. Let's do that. That sounds awesome...!"
by bill cauliflower November 12, 2023
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cosm

(n.) a person's particular sphere of influence or domain, be it a house, workplace, or studio. A very specific 'microcosm' of the world.
"Hi Angi. OH WOW, is this your art studio...?"
"Yep, this is my cosm."
"Your cosm?"

"Yeah, the 'Angi-cosm'. This is my world."
by bill cauliflower May 13, 2020
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zero-7

(adv.) Never. The exact opposite of '24-7'. That is, something that takes up absolutely none of your time.
"What about Kristina, do you ever think about her these days...?"

"After what she did to me, I think about her zero-7, to be honest."
by bill cauliflower April 18, 2020
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culinarilingus

The act of loving your meal so much you lick the plate clean.
"Ok, I know you loved that meal, but there's no need to perform culinarilingus on the goddam plate...!"
by bill cauliflower June 26, 2016
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