bill cauliflower's definitions

cosm

(n.) a person's particular sphere of influence or domain, be it a house, workplace, or studio. A very specific 'microcosm' of the world.

"Hi Angi. OH WOW, is this your art studio...?"
"Yep, this is my cosm."
"Your cosm?"

"Yeah, the 'Angi-cosm'. This is my world."

by bill cauliflower May 13, 2020

collabaret

When a number of Theatre Companies get together to put on a musical.

Me: "Who is putting on 'Mamma Mia' this time?"
Francesca: "I heard that three different theatre companies are collaborating to put it on this year."
Me: "Hmm. Not so much a Cabaret as a Collabaret, I guess, haha...!"
Francesca: (groan)

by bill cauliflower January 3, 2018

improverb

A mangled proverb.

"We really need to get this done quick. As they say, 'A stitch in time heals all wounds.' "

"Is that a proverb...?"

"Mmmm. Maybe not. It might be an improverb..."

by bill cauliflower February 14, 2019

sparkarse

Someone who is really smart and switched-on about stuff - especially technology. Someone who can envision curious opportunities that other people don't see. Pretty much a genius who roars off and leaves people in the wake of their intellect...

"Hey, you know that Harry has just developed this out-of-left-field app that will make phone batteries last 10 times longer? Google have paid him about 200 mill..."

"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"

by bill cauliflower November 1, 2017

Glumdudgeon

A person who - either due to their naturally-pessimistic personality or by temporary difficult circumstances - is gloomy and miserable, and finds it hard to see the positive side of anything.

"Hey Bill, you seem pretty down, what's going on?"

"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."

"Awww. Sorry to hear that."

"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"

"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."

by bill cauliflower January 25, 2024

puburbs

The inner, older suburbs around the central part of a large city, most of which contain a large number of small hotels or pubs. As opposed to the outer suburbs, which often have just a few 'supersize-me' mega-hotels.

Me: "Hey, wanna hang out in the puburbs tonight?"
Sian: "Yeah, let's go to West End."

by bill cauliflower June 26, 2016

one-three fatigue

(1) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 45 minutes and still can't talk to a real person (or if you do, it is a person in a remote call-centre, whose accent you struggle to understand). And you hang up - effectively giving up.

(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.

(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.

Angi: "I had to call insert company name here on their 13 number again today to see if they knew what was happening with my order, and could they help me. After being on hold for 30 minutes, I hung up."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."

by bill cauliflower September 6, 2020