one-three fatigue

(1) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 45 minutes and still can't talk to a real person (or if you do, it is a person in a remote call-centre, whose accent you struggle to understand). And you hang up - effectively giving up.

(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.

(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.
Angi: "I had to call insert company name here on their 13 number again today to see if they knew what was happening with my order, and could they help me. After being on hold for 30 minutes, I hung up."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."
by bill cauliflower September 06, 2020
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sparkarse

Someone who is really smart and switched-on about stuff - especially technology. Someone who can envision curious opportunities that other people don't see. Pretty much a genius who roars off and leaves people in the wake of their intellect...
"Hey, you know that Harry has just developed this out-of-left-field app that will make phone batteries last 10 times longer? Google have paid him about 200 mill..."

"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"
by bill cauliflower November 01, 2017
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zero-7

(adv.) Never. The exact opposite of '24-7'. That is, something that takes up absolutely none of your time.
"What about Kristina, do you ever think about her these days...?"

"After what she did to me, I think about her zero-7, to be honest."
by bill cauliflower April 18, 2020
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collabaret

When a number of Theatre Companies get together to put on a musical.
Me: "Who is putting on 'Mamma Mia' this time?"
Francesca: "I heard that three different theatre companies are collaborating to put it on this year."
Me: "Hmm. Not so much a Cabaret as a Collabaret, I guess, haha...!"
Francesca: (groan)
by bill cauliflower January 04, 2018
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Retrezvous

(1) A meeting with someone in your past, at a location significant to you both; or (2) A secret meeting with an ex, pretty much for horizontal recreation

This word also has the added benefit of a strong linguistic alignment with 'deja vu' (hey, I've been here before...)
"Hi Claire, I know it's been a while, but I have to see you again. Please? I won't tell Amy if you don't tell Brad - can we have a little retrezvous at that hotel we used to go to in the city?"
by bill cauliflower August 13, 2016
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improverb

"We really need to get this done quick. As they say, 'A stitch in time heals all wounds.' "

"Is that a proverb...?"

"Mmmm. Maybe not. It might be an improverb..."
by bill cauliflower February 14, 2019
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c-19

(v.) To 'C-19 something' is to cancel it or shut it down due to Coronavirus COVID-19.
Liv: "Man it sucks to be a musician, I had about 20 gigs in the next two months and the venues had to C-19 all of them!"
Ellie: "I know, right! All of mine got C-19'd as well."
by bill cauliflower April 05, 2020
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