bill cauliflower's definitions
Inductrination (n.)
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Me: "Hey Dylan, how did Induction Day go at Googbook...?"
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
by bill cauliflower March 7, 2021
Get the inductrination mug.Someone who is really smart and switched-on about stuff - especially technology. Someone who can envision curious opportunities that other people don't see. Pretty much a genius who roars off and leaves people in the wake of their intellect...
"Hey, you know that Harry has just developed this out-of-left-field app that will make phone batteries last 10 times longer? Google have paid him about 200 mill..."
"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"
"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"
by bill cauliflower November 1, 2017
Get the sparkarse mug.(adv.) Never. The exact opposite of '24-7'. That is, something that takes up absolutely none of your time.
"What about Kristina, do you ever think about her these days...?"
"After what she did to me, I think about her zero-7, to be honest."
"After what she did to me, I think about her zero-7, to be honest."
by bill cauliflower April 18, 2020
Get the zero-7 mug.A person who - either due to their naturally-pessimistic personality or by temporary difficult circumstances - is gloomy and miserable, and finds it hard to see the positive side of anything.
"Hey Bill, you seem pretty down, what's going on?"
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
by bill cauliflower January 25, 2024
Get the Glumdudgeon mug.(1) A meeting with someone in your past, at a location significant to you both; or (2) A secret meeting with an ex, pretty much for horizontal recreation
This word also has the added benefit of a strong linguistic alignment with 'deja vu' (hey, I've been here before...)
This word also has the added benefit of a strong linguistic alignment with 'deja vu' (hey, I've been here before...)
"Hi Claire, I know it's been a while, but I have to see you again. Please? I won't tell Amy if you don't tell Brad - can we have a little retrezvous at that hotel we used to go to in the city?"
by bill cauliflower August 13, 2016
Get the Retrezvous mug.(1) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 45 minutes and still can't talk to a real person (or if you do, it is a person in a remote call-centre, whose accent you struggle to understand). And you hang up - effectively giving up.
(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.
(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.
(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.
(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.
Angi: "I had to call insert company name here on their 13 number again today to see if they knew what was happening with my order, and could they help me. After being on hold for 30 minutes, I hung up."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."
by bill cauliflower September 6, 2020
Get the one-three fatigue mug.Liv: "Man it sucks to be a musician, I had about 20 gigs in the next two months and the venues had to C-19 all of them!"
Ellie: "I know, right! All of mine got C-19'd as well."
Ellie: "I know, right! All of mine got C-19'd as well."
by bill cauliflower April 4, 2020
Get the c-19 mug.