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Definitions by biafra j

The Meaning Of Life

The Meaning of Life is for you to explain. there is no such thing, no answer in a book to read and gasp.

Make up your own meaning of life, and dont be such dilholes.
Dude, the meaning of life 42...which i dont have a flying fuck what it its. yes, i did check it out. something about hitchhikers.

Loch Ness 

If you chuck in a mythical monster which no-one in a huge crowd has ever seen, make him out to be the cutest thing since Gizmo, and situate in a growing land with no-one to bother you, you've got one booming business!
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
Roaaaar! Im Nessie, i can speak over so languages and im lovable and cute, so why dont you buy your kids some of my over-expensive inexpensible merchandise? your kids will love you for years to come. unless you dont like kids. You like kids- dont you?
Loch Ness Tourism Board
Loch Ness by Biafra J July 26, 2004

Jamie Nickson 

The Most Powerful Assassin of the 21st Century. Also the most unique.
That’s how I do my job-through the pure generalisation of others.
Jamie Nickson by Biafra J July 25, 2004

Gringing 

The nail biting, anxiety caused when a joke in Family Guy is seriously overstretched.

Like when Peter got kicked in the shin by that oompa loompa. That was good though.
Dustin Hoaffman. Are you trying to seduce me?

Newsreporter. no im not trying to seduce you mr Hauffman!

DH. Bring me Peter Pan!

NR. Ok, ill keep my eye out for him...
Gringing by Biafra J July 25, 2004

The best compliment your old man can get

To Be Hung Like An Arab Stallion


Now that's hung
That's bigger than life!!
The amount of time Hell is measured in.
about 5-6 eons, which will be by the time the earth is no more
whoooo! scary shit man
Eon by Biafra J July 13, 2004

Rip the jizz out of someone 

So much worse than getting the piss taking out of you, as the perpetratour after sucking all your urine out, then moves onto your sacks-usually saying offensive things about the victims sexual life.eg.he's a wankaholic.

It's like being depressed, lonely, and an eunuch all at once. Not just anyone can take the jizz out of someone.

you have to be experienced, such as an Australian politician or a ghetto rapper.
His sacks are like seals flippers after meeting that Bill.