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aldwardo's definitions

shoutwire

A site where the only thing worth a damn is the back button on your browser. It's basically Michael Moore's wetdream in the form of a webpage.
Going to shoutwire is about as painful as watching your only infant child choke to death.
by aldwardo November 3, 2006
mugGet the shoutwiremug.

fantasy football

The only sports whites can play better than blacks.
Fantasy Football, a true American pasttime.
by aldwardo October 15, 2006
mugGet the fantasy footballmug.

taker

(n.)

A taker is referred to someone with a drug addiction, usually narcotics. The taker is actually the drug and the giver is the user or addict. The drug is always the taker of the addict's life and the addict always gives in to the crave.

See also Master of Puppets, Suicide Messiah.
"Bow down you chose your maker, he never gives he's always the taker" - Suicide Messiah by Black Label Society

"- Jeez look at that poor taker over there standing by the pack of homeless people. He was in my highschool and was always high, guess he deterioted to scum."
by aldwardo November 5, 2006
mugGet the takermug.

pedophile

After reading the first few definitions,(most likely written by pedophiles) I'm a little shocked at why people would try to defend these sick beings. I don't care if a pedophile would defend a child for "love." NOBODY has the right to take advantage of a child like that. NOBODY. Imagine what a child like that would be growing up? She/he would have no sexual morals and probably becoming a some sort of a sexual predator themselves.

People state that pedos don't hurt children, only child molesters do, that's fucking bullshit. "Love" is the first criteria, I can't believe that somewhat would write that If a pedo knew what true pain was then they would know that is the most disgusting act to ever peform on a child.

Oh yea and whoever diagnosod these sick and heinous people with a "mental disorder," is probably one themselves. Pull your head out of your ass people, it's a sick fucking fetish, acted out by vile human beings who cannot tell right from wrong.

Sure we all have fetishes, some may be even a little twisted, that still doesn't give you the right to act out on them. Learn to control yourselves.
My cousin was a victim of pedophilia(the man took pictures of her to put on the internet for a kiddie porn site, some love huh?), she has to go to therapy 3 times a week ever since she was 12. She has a lot of social problems and is constantly paranoid women because of what happened. She refuses to let anyone close to her, she doesn't like to be out in public alone and she hates anything related to sex.

It's fortunate my aunt found out early about this sick act, it could've been a lot worse on her. Fuck pedophiles.
by Aldwardo November 26, 2006
mugGet the pedophilemug.

murphy's law

The stupidest, most nonsensical "theory" ever. If it's a joke it isn't funny.

"Anything that can go wrong, will." What the fuck does that mean? I mean I wake up every morning and drive to work in my piece of shit car. I haven't gotten into an accident and my car has never broke down. There you have it I beat the stupid theory.

One of the most common examples that I hear is when stuck in traffic the other lanes around you will move faster than the lane you're in. What? What about the people in the other lanes, why doesn't this bullshit law apply to them? I could name some more examples but frankly it isn't worth it.
Murphy's Law is a crock of shit.
by aldwardo November 3, 2006
mugGet the murphy's lawmug.

Splinter Cell

One of the greatest video game series of this generation. Splinter Cell revolves around you (Sam Fisher) going on espionage missions for the NSA. The actually stories are a bit complicated I don't even stand all of it myself but I don't play games for stories.

Unlike most game series, this one gets better with each release. Comparing it to MGS is just silly, they are two amazing franchises.

Chaos Theory (3rd of the series, not counting the shitty handheld versions) is one of my favorite games ever. It eliminates all the trial and error of the first two and really makes it much more enjoyable(I've beaten it 7 times already). It's so flexible and flat out amazing in terms of everything that makes a game good. Good graphics, amazing soundtrack, deep and flexible gameplay, and replayiblity. Don't get me started on how amazing the multiplayer is because words don't do it justice. It's so genious yet so underrated.
Splinter Cell games so far:

Splinter Cell
Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Splinter Cell: Double Agent

The new one (Double Agent) is due out very soon. It will own your soul.
by aldwardo October 13, 2006
mugGet the Splinter Cellmug.

kathy griffin

The most annoying women on the face of the earth only rivaling Sarah Jessica Parker, Ellen Degeneres, and Rosie O' Donnell. She's not funny and her career sucks. People like her and Jenny Jones are the reason there is war in the middle east.

She also looks like a tranny on crack.
Kathy Griffin sucks and I want to nail her to the fucking cross.
by Aldwardo January 30, 2007
mugGet the kathy griffinmug.

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