al-in-chgo's definitions

fappal tunnel syndrome

From FAP + carPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

Getting a strained wrist from working a computer mouse with one hand (e.g., to download porn), and jacking self off with the other. It's generally the lower of the two wrists that develops the syndrome first.

.
"Jed says his right (left) wrist hurts."

"Probably poor ergonomic design at his workstation. He's wanked himself into a case of Fappal Tunnel Syndrome. Someone get a crowbar and pry him off that computer. Sheesh!"

by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

friction fiction

Slang for porno stories printed in softcore skin magazines, generally designed to provoke and encourage masturbation. (Such magazines, that combine the stories with nude pictorial spreads and other features, are often called "stroke books").

Ever since they stopped publishing MEN magazine, I've lost my favorite source of friction fiction.

by al-in-chgo February 21, 2010

jack it up

Briefly and rapidly masturbating a quasi-erect penis (or "semi") after foreplay leading to partner sex. In this usage the goal is not to masturbate to orgasm, but merely to get the penis stiff enough to penetrate vagina or anus under the assumption that the erection will stay sufficient throughout intercourse aka fucking, presumably leading to a successful climax (orgasm).

"I had to jack it up a little before I could go in, but I was afraid she'd think it was kind of gay, or that I didn't love her."

"Naw, man, you do what you gotta do. Go ahead and get it up a little more. If Dorothy has a problem with that, then why doesn't she use HER hand?"

by al-in-chgo February 20, 2010

Dog's Cock

Also "dogcock" or "dogscock." British journalese for an exclamation mark (!) due to the visual similarity. Considered vulgar but widely used within the industry.

Mentioned in Lynn Truss's book EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

"Can't we get along with just one dog's cock on that banner? Surely three is going over the top."

by al-in-chgo March 18, 2011

bogosity

From "BOgus" (fake, false, faux) + "-OSITY" (humorous suffix, compare "Heaviosity" at this site):

1. The quality of something that is manifestly false (or bogus)

2. Something contrived, or patently false, designed to project a pleasing image or message through the media (newspapers, TV news, etc).

3. A polite way to say "bullshit," when the situation calls for something a little milder.

(Speaking of politicians who project a "folksy" manner when they themselves are not of humble beginnings):

"But alas, judgments about who's faking it are left primarily to what we might call (for the imposed lack of a more familiar but less printable term)* the bogosity detectors of the American people."

Meghan Daum, L.A. Times columnist, August 12, 2011 (printed in Chicago Tribune).

* She means "Bullshit."

by al-in-chgo August 16, 2011

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."

by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012