Definitions by al-in-chgo
Dog's Cock
Also "dogcock" or "dogscock." British journalese for an exclamation mark (!) due to the visual similarity. Considered vulgar but widely used within the industry.
Mentioned in Lynn Truss's book EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES.
Mentioned in Lynn Truss's book EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES.
Dog's Cock by al-in-chgo March 18, 2011
Ass Mode
A term consistently used during the lead-in to the "Twitters, Tweets and E-Mail" section of Craig Ferguson's "Late Late Night Show" on CBS.
May refer to the practice of setting a cell phone to "ring" not with sound but with vibration. Worn on the fanny (or inside a fanny pack), such a phone would be communicating an inbound call in "Ass Mode."
May refer to the practice of setting a cell phone to "ring" not with sound but with vibration. Worn on the fanny (or inside a fanny pack), such a phone would be communicating an inbound call in "Ass Mode."
Ass Mode by al-in-chgo February 25, 2011
Broken Nose
The late Chicago journalist and author Mike Royko (BOSS) said that loving Chicago was like loving a beautiful woman with a broken nose: once you're used to her, other merely beautiful women don't quite look right.
Some of the "broken noses" of Chicago:
1. North Side pro baseball team, the Cubs, who perpetuate an execrable win/losss record but are nonetheless idolized as the "cubbies";
2. Weather: coldest major American city other than Minneapolis, snowiest outside Buffalo, steamiest summers outside the Mississippi River Valley or Deep South. Winter days are so short that evening rush occurs in the dark. Even on the best spring days, "San Francisco sweater weather" is practically nonexistent.
3. Political corruption, which is awesome due to its extent, its reach, its resourcesfulness and the apathy with which it is greated by most Chicagoans.
more pleasant phenomena of Chicago that still have a slight eccentric or "broken nose" quality:
1. Italian beef, which is roast been marinated in gravy, garlic and giardinera, served on Italian-crust sandwich bread, and almost unobtainable outside Chicago.
2. the conviction (and it still actually works) that if you place old dinette chairs in the spot from which you just extricated your hitherto snowbound car, that spot will be waiting for you when you get back.
3. Refusal to call the 'Willis Tower' anything other than its original name, the 'Sears Tower.'
"Is this a great city or what"?
1. North Side pro baseball team, the Cubs, who perpetuate an execrable win/losss record but are nonetheless idolized as the "cubbies";
2. Weather: coldest major American city other than Minneapolis, snowiest outside Buffalo, steamiest summers outside the Mississippi River Valley or Deep South. Winter days are so short that evening rush occurs in the dark. Even on the best spring days, "San Francisco sweater weather" is practically nonexistent.
3. Political corruption, which is awesome due to its extent, its reach, its resourcesfulness and the apathy with which it is greated by most Chicagoans.
more pleasant phenomena of Chicago that still have a slight eccentric or "broken nose" quality:
1. Italian beef, which is roast been marinated in gravy, garlic and giardinera, served on Italian-crust sandwich bread, and almost unobtainable outside Chicago.
2. the conviction (and it still actually works) that if you place old dinette chairs in the spot from which you just extricated your hitherto snowbound car, that spot will be waiting for you when you get back.
3. Refusal to call the 'Willis Tower' anything other than its original name, the 'Sears Tower.'
"Is this a great city or what"?
Broken Nose by al-in-chgo January 2, 2011
Thirty Helens Agree
"Thirty Helens Agree" was a brief sketch that opened several episodes of TV's THE KIDS IN THE HALL during its first season. Typically thirty women (all named Helen, apparently) would stand out in a field and chant the answer to the proposition -- such as Announcer: "Thirty Helens Agree" -- Chorus of Helens: "You can't spend too much on a good pair of shoes (or similar bromides)." Then one or two of the Helens would appear and add testimony to the stated point -- "These have lasted me for years," or similar.
Announcer: "Thirty Helens Agree" --
Thirty Helens in field: "Haste makes waste."
Individual Helen: "Don't get in a hurry (or similar)."
Thirty Helens in field: "Haste makes waste."
Individual Helen: "Don't get in a hurry (or similar)."
Thirty Helens Agree by al-in-chgo November 23, 2010
Suck On My Cock
"Suck On My Cock" is a satirical Christmas send-up, lyrics written by Pacific Northwest shock jock and prolific parodist Bob Rivers and based on the tune of the bestselling "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms (1957).
With himself as singer, "Suck On My Cock" was released as part of a Rivers Christmastime satiric CD, and in 2007 as part of Rivers' CD "Rated X Max." Rivers' lyrics graphically recount in first-person the experience of receiving a full and complete act of fellatio by his (possibly) unwilling partner and makes ample use of "Jingle Bell Rock's" tune, multiple stanzas, choruses and chord changes.
The song is offensive, obscene, and politically incorrect but very funny to those who like no-holds-barred satire. It has been covered often in the ensuing years by Matt Rogers and other singers. Downloadable sung versions and lyrics are not difficult to find on the Internet, though good copies of the prior CD releases command a huge premium in the online used-disc market.
If live versions are included, it is hard to measure how high "Suck On My Cock" ranks in Rivers' ample songbook, but it appears to be shaping up as a "guilty" Christmas pleasure along with many of his other Yuletide parodies, such as "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" and "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire."
Bob Rivers asserts that he still owns copyright to the lyrics.
.
With himself as singer, "Suck On My Cock" was released as part of a Rivers Christmastime satiric CD, and in 2007 as part of Rivers' CD "Rated X Max." Rivers' lyrics graphically recount in first-person the experience of receiving a full and complete act of fellatio by his (possibly) unwilling partner and makes ample use of "Jingle Bell Rock's" tune, multiple stanzas, choruses and chord changes.
The song is offensive, obscene, and politically incorrect but very funny to those who like no-holds-barred satire. It has been covered often in the ensuing years by Matt Rogers and other singers. Downloadable sung versions and lyrics are not difficult to find on the Internet, though good copies of the prior CD releases command a huge premium in the online used-disc market.
If live versions are included, it is hard to measure how high "Suck On My Cock" ranks in Rivers' ample songbook, but it appears to be shaping up as a "guilty" Christmas pleasure along with many of his other Yuletide parodies, such as "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" and "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire."
Bob Rivers asserts that he still owns copyright to the lyrics.
.
-- "God, I couldn't believe it when the band began to play "Jingle Bell Rock" and the singer started off with 'Stroke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock..."
-- "Yeah, hardcore! But it was pretty late and I don't think people minded "blue" material. Hope you listened up, 'cuz I bet the band won't play it for another 364 days."
-- "Yeah OK, fool, but cyberspace never forgets."
.
-- "Yeah, hardcore! But it was pretty late and I don't think people minded "blue" material. Hope you listened up, 'cuz I bet the band won't play it for another 364 days."
-- "Yeah OK, fool, but cyberspace never forgets."
.
Suck On My Cock by al-in-chgo October 30, 2010
Tiene leche?
Careful! It doesn't mean "got milk?" as in the ad campaign.
Nor does it mean "do you(the store) have milk? That's an American idiom.
To see if a shop with a Spanish-speaking proprietor has milk for sale, ask "Hay leche?" (aye LAY-chay?) "Hay," (pron. like long "I" in English") plus the word of which you seek, is very useful to ask: is it here? OR are they here?
If the person behind the counter is a pregnant female, asking "Tiene leche?" would mean "Do you have breast milk?" It implies that anyway if one is strictly literal.
Say "Hay leche?"
Nor does it mean "do you(the store) have milk? That's an American idiom.
To see if a shop with a Spanish-speaking proprietor has milk for sale, ask "Hay leche?" (aye LAY-chay?) "Hay," (pron. like long "I" in English") plus the word of which you seek, is very useful to ask: is it here? OR are they here?
If the person behind the counter is a pregnant female, asking "Tiene leche?" would mean "Do you have breast milk?" It implies that anyway if one is strictly literal.
Say "Hay leche?"
Customer, wanting a liter of milk: "Tiene leche?"
Clerk, a young pregnant women, blushes and says, "No se." (I don't know.)
Customer does the right thing on the rebound: "Hay leche en esta bodega" ("Is there milk to be had in this shop?")
--Proprietress: "Si, sen~or. Alli! Alli (ay-YEE)!. "Yes, sir, over there! Over there!"
note from contributor: is there a macro-less way on a keyboard to simulate upside-down exclamation marks and question marks?
Clerk, a young pregnant women, blushes and says, "No se." (I don't know.)
Customer does the right thing on the rebound: "Hay leche en esta bodega" ("Is there milk to be had in this shop?")
--Proprietress: "Si, sen~or. Alli! Alli (ay-YEE)!. "Yes, sir, over there! Over there!"
note from contributor: is there a macro-less way on a keyboard to simulate upside-down exclamation marks and question marks?
Tiene leche? by al-in-chgo October 6, 2010
paraprosdokian
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax . . . sometimes a very funny turn of phrase.
So what's a "paraprosdokian"?
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
paraprosdokian by al-in-chgo September 18, 2010