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Definitions by al-in-chgo

irrumare 

A Latin and Italian word regarding male oral sex that is frequently confused with the more commonly used "fellare." "Irrumare" (person who does the act is an 'irrumator') refers to the person who offers the penis for sucking. The person who gives head (takes the penis into his or her mouth) is the 'fellator,' from "fellare". Modern terms like "sucker/suckee" or "bottom/top" don't cover the distinction so well.
-- That cocksucker? He can fellare me!

-- Oh you mean you want to irrumare him!
irrumare by al-in-chgo May 27, 2011

fapfapfap 

Originally the onomatopoetic rendition of male masturbation in Japanese manga (erotic comics), using the Roman letters. "Fapfapfap" has come to represent male masturbation in general, and by extension the slapping sounds of any anal intercourse, and male/female penile-vaginal intercourse as well.
-- What did you think of that new actress?

-- HOT! Fapfapfap.

-- Easy for you to say.

-- Give me some privacy and my dick will make the noise.
fapfapfap by al-in-chgo May 24, 2011

jack off 

Same as "jerk off" (masturbate); also used as a noun to reference a feckless, no-account person, usu. male.

Up until the 1980s, "jack off" was considered more a Southern (USA) locution than "jerk off," which was considered more urban and Northeastern/Midwestern states. Considerable swapping around has taken place in the meantime, probably because of increased social mobility and relaxed codes of censorship.
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1)...All little Timmy can talk about is sex. If I weren't so polite, I'd have told him to go get laid, or to jack off in a corner...

2)...'If y'all boys didn't jack off so much, you might amount to something.'... (closet-case coach to members of the high-school basketball team in 1971 movie THE LAST PICTURE SHOW).
jack off by al-in-chgo April 28, 2011

organized grabass 

U.S. Marine Corps term for intramural football games set up in periods of slack to keep the soldiers from having too much idle time.

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Sargeant, there's a hole between mess at 1245 and policing the grounds at 1400. How about a little organized grabass for the men?" -- "Excellent idea, Corporal. Tell Johnston and Greene to ready the football supplies.

fappal tunnel syndrome 

From FAP + carPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

Getting a strained wrist from working a computer mouse with one hand (e.g., to download porn), and jacking self off with the other. It's generally the lower of the two wrists that develops the syndrome first.
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"Jed says his right (left) wrist hurts."

"Probably poor ergonomic design at his workstation. He's wanked himself into a case of Fappal Tunnel Syndrome. Someone get a crowbar and pry him off that computer. Sheesh!"

London Flog 

The urban practice wherein a man strolls the streets, fully clothed and in a belted trench coat, and slowly but covertly, though a side pocket, masturbates himself in the presence of fellow pedestrians and pasers-by. The benefit of the act is sometimes claimed to be expediency, but more likely is the ability to "get away with it," especially when ejacualation is achieved but not revealed.

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"Why do you say Geoff's a wanker?" -- "I mean, literally, man. I ran into him on Halsted and he had just done a complete London Flog."

"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."

"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."
London Flog by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

GLIBERTARIAN 

(Sometimes "Glibbertarian") From GLIB + libERTARIAN. A well-off or self-made individual who offers easy nostrums for complicated social and economic problems, usually centered around such premises as "A government program never helped anyone," or "Government is the cause of, not the answer to, America's problems."

A glibertarian response is frequently preceded by "Oh, just let this happen" or "Oh, all we need to do is . . . " Sometimes these statements elucidate libertarian principles, if a bit superficially, but more often invoke knee-jerk responses that offer snappy, painless solutions from anything but government.
"We have to get manufacturing back into this country."

"Oh, just let the magic of the market take care of that."

"What are we to do about illegal immigration?"

"Oh, all we need to do is get these folks onto a market-driven salary and off all these government programs like public schools and health care."

sarcastically: "Where on earth did you get all these wonderful solutions?"

"Oh, I'm a self-made man."

Original speaker sotto voce "A Glibertarian worships his own maker."
GLIBERTARIAN by al-in-chgo March 18, 2011