24 definitions by _The Secret_

We know chemistry when we feel it with another person, but we don't always know why we're drawn to one person over another. Is it just a cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones conspiring to rush you toward reproduction? Is it attraction borne of a set of shared values? Or is it bonding over specific experiences that create intimacy?

It's probably a combination of all three, plus ineffable qualities that even matchmaking services can't perfectly nail down.

With few exceptions, behavior has features of both genetics and history. It's nature and nurture.

Scientists who study attraction take into consideration everything from genetics, psychology, and family history to traumas, which have been shown to impact a person's ability to bond or feel desire.

Love can be broken down into three distinct stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. In each stage, your body chemistry behaves differently. It turns out that "chemistry" is, at least in part, actual chemistry. Biochemistry, specifically.

In the lust and attraction phases, your body is directing the show, as people can feel desire without knowing anything personal about the object of that desire. Lust, is nothing more than the existence of a sex drive, or the craving for sexual gratification. It's a sensation driven by estrogens and androgens, the female and male sex hormones, based in the biological drive to reproduce.
Attraction may be influenced less than lust by physiological factors -the appeal of someone's features, or the way they make you laugh—but your body is still calling the shots at this stage, pumping you full of the hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine, effecting your brain in a way that's like the way illicit substances do.

The attachment phase is characterized by increases in oxytocin and vasopressin; these hormones are thought to promote bonding and positive behaviors to sustain connections over time in order to fulfill parental duties.

Additionally, while oxytocin has long gotten the credit for being the love hormone, scientists dont use oxytocin freely anymore, because it has broader functions than simply bonding. It also plays a role in the contraction of the uterus to stimulate birth, instigating lactation, and sexual arousal; low levels have been linked to autism spectrum disorders.

Chemistry has been linked to a charmingly named hormone known as kisspeptin. Produced in the hypothalamus, kisspeptin plays a role in the onset of puberty, and may increase libido, regulate the gonadal steroids that fuel the sex drive, and help the body maintain pregnancy. There is a lot more study about the role kisspeptin plays in attraction.

Chemistry predicts nothing but chemistry. This is because chemistry can make people blind to actual incompatibilities or warning signs. A spark can build based on what you have in common. You can grow into love, but you grow out of lust.
by _The Secret_ February 25, 2020
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An annual event in most educational jurisdictions, ostensibly for the presentation and discussion of educational research developments, and to satisfy educationists' professional development requirements. However, the true function of the seminars, held over weekends in five-star hotels, is to foster an atmosphere of intellectual curiosity, to kindle group learning experiences, and foment pedagogical stimulation between teaching colleagues, away from the constricting influence of family, work, and routines.
Judith paused and turned to stare at a sparrow fluttering under the eaves outside the window. She could not remember how many men were in the spa bath that night in her luxury hotel suite on the last night of the teachers' conference, her memory of the watery group encounter was just a champagne and cocktail-fuelled haze. All she knew is that now, four week's later, the pregnancy test was positive. How could she explain things to her husband? They hadn't had relations for years. Were there five men, or six? That ancient bearded professor had been at the back of the queue, she remembered that...
"Miss, oh,Miss.." one of her literature students calling out snapped her out of her reverie....
What the hell was she going to do now?
by _The Secret_ April 15, 2020
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“The one that got away” is an ex who has an exalted place among your past loves. She is the one you focus about. This ex was a good person, your breakup didn't change your opinion about this. She's someone who deserves love in their lives, someone another person would be lucky to be with.
If you're reading this, you are probably The one that got away.
by _The Secret_ November 13, 2019
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A term used by someone with the intent to lie.
Guy: Have you cheated?

Girl: ask no questions hear no lies

Guy: wtf, so you have?

Girl: (says nothing)

Girl: I'm not even sorry

Guy: **heart breaks** again
by _The Secret_ March 25, 2020
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Nirvana spelt backwards. Also the store on the Netflix series "You".

Beck can be seen wearing an Anavrin shirt spelt backwards in the series.

It has uncanny similarities to the L.A store chain Erehwon.
Anavrin
by _The Secret_ January 8, 2020
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Thee greatest of all time, spits licks like nobody else. Someone who saved you through hard times
Eminem was there in a time of need, with words that brought you out of the dark hole you were in.
by _The Secret_ April 15, 2020
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A feeling driven by extreme emotional suffering. A feeling so strong it starts to affect your general well-being whether it be psychological or physical.

Usually a feeling brought on by yearning or fond memories of a certain person; which when any form of pain arises it is amplified.
The breakdown of a relationship can lead to unfathomable affliction.
by _The Secret_ August 7, 2019
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