Definitions by Zachary Schriber
Ella Bella
noun) — A chihuahua named Ella who isn’t just loved — she’s your heart on four legs, the walking piece of your heart. A term for the kind of bond where you speak to her as if she understands every word.
“Ella Bella, you wanna treat.”
“Ella Bella, come here baby girl.”
“I love you, Ella Bella.”
“She a pretty girl, Ella Bella.”
“She’s my heart on four legs.”
“Ella Bella, come here baby girl.”
“I love you, Ella Bella.”
“She a pretty girl, Ella Bella.”
“She’s my heart on four legs.”
Ella Bella by Zachary Schriber September 20, 2026
A Gnats Sack Wrinkle
A slang unit representing an amount so small it borders on theoretical.
Used to describe negligible care, microscopic difference, or the tiniest measurable shift in anything — emotional, mechanical, or situational.
Used to describe negligible care, microscopic difference, or the tiniest measurable shift in anything — emotional, mechanical, or situational.
“I’m a gnats sack wrinkle away from loosing my shit” She wants me to apologize, but I could care a gnats sack wrinkle about what she wants”
A Gnats Sack Wrinkle by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026
A Hummingbird’s Ass Crack
A slang measurement meaning almost nothing, barely anything, or so little it’s functionally irrelevant.
“I can give a hummingbird’s ass crack about your whining”
“That matters about as much as a hummingbird’s ass crack to me”
“That matters about as much as a hummingbird’s ass crack to me”
A Hummingbird’s Ass Crack by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026
A Rats Cunt Hair
A microscopic, vulgar unit of measurement used to describe the smallest possible amount of care, concern, effort, difference, or significance.
“I can give 2 rats cunt hairs about what she said.”
“That matters about a rats cunt hair to me.”
“I care about half a rats cunt hair, and that’s being generous.”
“That matters about a rats cunt hair to me.”
“I care about half a rats cunt hair, and that’s being generous.”
A Rats Cunt Hair by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026
Polidentifier
A person whose identity is defined or dominated by their political stance, often interpreting neutral topics as political signals.
Coined by Zachary Schriber.
Coined by Zachary Schriber.
Polidentifier by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026
Researshittin’
Slang form of “researshitting.” The act of looking up information on your phone while using the bathroom. Coined by Zachary Schriber.
Researshittin’ by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026
Polidentity
A condition in which a person’s entire sense of identity is consumed by their political stance, causing neutral topics to be interpreted as political triggers. Coined by Zachary Schriber.
Polidentity by Zachary Schriber September 19, 2026