4 definitions by ZStar930
A Steel Wool Virgin is when you are having sex with a woman for the first time and her pubic hair has the consistency and feel of a Brillo Pad (and she doesn't know because no one's ever told her). The coarse, wiry pubic hair, in itself, is not generally the problem; if you are careful, it can be avoided. The problem is when those hairs are long enough to find their way into the mouth of the vagina during sex & make the penis feel like it is being cut by a couple dozen mini-razor blades through out the act. The man is usually too afraid to voice the painful concern's of his penis out of fear that it may end that first encounter & the last thing you want to do is give her a complex. After a few dates, casually bringing up that you like it when women shave usually does the trick with out upsetting her (But, Steel Wool Virgins Must Continue To Shave on a Regular Basis. The only thing worse than the original steel wool hair is feeling that area with three day's worth of stubble. Its like rubbing your testicles with fish wrapped in wet sandpaper. When this happens, the woman is "Deforested", meaning the trees have all been cut down, but the stumps are all still there). On the whole, its not her fault that she doesn't know that she feels like you're having sex with a garbage disposal, so its your responsibility to find a way to change that (specifically before scabs start to form...). If all goes right, but you do break up eventually, you'll be doing the next guy a huge favor.
Man, I was with this Steel Wool Virgin last night and by the time we were done, I needed a blood transfusion, a partial skin graft and a whole lotta band-aids
by ZStar930 March 20, 2011
When a woman shaves, but shaves infrequently. This mean that while the trees have all been cut down, the stumps are all still there, making a generally soft and enjoyable area feeling like you're having marital relations with two, wet pieces of sandpaper. If you come away from a sexual encounter with abrasions on your inner thighs or lower stomach, it might be time for her to mow the lawn again. Ignoring this problem can lead to unsightly callouses, arguments, neuroses and extended periods sleeping on the couch, sometimes voluntarily. Also, occasionally, the mixture of the man's pubic hair and the woman's untended garden CAN have a Velcro effect. Several drinks, a pair of scissors and a very steady hand can alleviate this problem
My deforested girlfriend loves it when I go down on her, but I hate having to apply Bactine to my tongue afterwards...
by ZStar930 March 20, 2011
DirtFucker
The invention of the word "Dirtfucker" was an attempt to create a more definitive expletive noun to give more character to the word "fuck", which can also be used as verb, as in, "That Dirtfuckin' Bastard...!" A "Dirtfucker" is someone so low down and dirty that they enjoy, regularly engage in and often fantasize at great length about having prolonged, multi-positioned, animalistic intercourse with common, everyday dirt, specifically where someone disrobes, lays upon the flat earth and copulates indiscriminately with any and all types of loose or packed soil at his disposal. It is generally not used as an expletive to communicate hate or anger, but rather mild to moderate disgust or derision, mostly in jest, about a peer's odd or abnormal behavior or to communicate light-hearted disappointment or disapproval of an inconsequential act he or she may have made, although, due to the physical limitations of such an act, female "dirtfuckers" are rare. There is a reason this word was called into being, though. Depending where you grew up and the vernacular of the area, the word "fuck" can have many uses, but while some are too soft, others can be too caustic. To call someone a "Fuck" can have impact, but can be too vague for some situations, while calling someone a "Fucker" can not only seem silly, but almost sounds like a compliment on occasion. On the other end of the spectrum, calling someone a "Motherfucker" is quite specific and descriptive, but can be too intense sometimes to be used as a casual jibe. However, calling someone a "Dirtfucker" has just enough descriptiveness, imagination and imagery to add new verve and spice to the overused and stale word "fuck" without being too vague, flaccid or being too powerful an insult or taunt. Etymology of the word originates from the Finger Lakes/Rochester area of upstate New York and came into popular usage in the region from the late Eighties on (Note to editors: This term really is semi-popular in the region and I truly feel it should be added to your site. Please take that into consideration when you decide. Plus, there already is a “Dirt Fucker” definition on your site, so…). Whether or not this word has been copyrighted is still a matter of contention, but the supposed author is said to not only have invented the word, but was also was the self styled model for it's creation, so no one's really worried. It’s most celebrated and well known usage of the word is too much of a national slur and, I’m hoping, was the reason why my first draft was rejected, so, while I cannot specifically name the country, it is still widely used as the go-to description for the region. Hey, aside from the fact that they ARE, they also have some of the finest, richest and most titillating dirt in the known world... If you can guess what country in this hemisphere is best known for its dirt, you win the prize.
The invention of the word "Dirtfucker" was an attempt to create a more definitive expletive noun to give more character to the word "fuck", which can also be used as verb, as in, "That Dirtfuckin' Bastard...!" A "Dirtfucker" is someone so low down and dirty that they enjoy, regularly engage in and often fantasize at great length about having prolonged, multi-positioned, animalistic intercourse with common, everyday dirt, specifically where someone disrobes, lays upon the flat earth and copulates indiscriminately with any and all types of loose or packed soil at his disposal. It is generally not used as an expletive to communicate hate or anger, but rather mild to moderate disgust or derision, mostly in jest, about a peer's odd or abnormal behavior or to communicate light-hearted disappointment or disapproval of an inconsequential act he or she may have made, although, due to the physical limitations of such an act, female "dirtfuckers" are rare. There is a reason this word was called into being, though. Depending where you grew up and the vernacular of the area, the word "fuck" can have many uses, but while some are too soft, others can be too caustic. To call someone a "Fuck" can have impact, but can be too vague for some situations, while calling someone a "Fucker" can not only seem silly, but almost sounds like a compliment on occasion. On the other end of the spectrum, calling someone a "Motherfucker" is quite specific and descriptive, but can be too intense sometimes to be used as a casual jibe. However, calling someone a "Dirtfucker" has just enough descriptiveness, imagination and imagery to add new verve and spice to the overused and stale word "fuck" without being too vague, flaccid or being too powerful an insult or taunt. Etymology of the word originates from the Finger Lakes/Rochester area of upstate New York and came into popular usage in the region from the late Eighties on (Note to editors: This term really is semi-popular in the region and I truly feel it should be added to your site. Please take that into consideration when you decide. Plus, there already is a “Dirt Fucker” definition on your site, so…). Whether or not this word has been copyrighted is still a matter of contention, but the supposed author is said to not only have invented the word, but was also was the self styled model for it's creation, so no one's really worried. It’s most celebrated and well known usage of the word is too much of a national slur and, I’m hoping, was the reason why my first draft was rejected, so, while I cannot specifically name the country, it is still widely used as the go-to description for the region. Hey, aside from the fact that they ARE, they also have some of the finest, richest and most titillating dirt in the known world... If you can guess what country in this hemisphere is best known for its dirt, you win the prize.
by ZStar930 August 25, 2009
To masturbate without lubrication to such an extent that either a callus forms or you develop a scab, usually on the head. Primarily the habit of 12-14 year old boys who have just figured out that there's another use for their penis other than urination and don't know any better. "Super Sand-Jacking" is when someone develops a scab, but does not wait for it to heal and continues to habitually masturbate regardless of the blood and pain. It has been hypothesized that these people are usually the ones who end up addicted to "scarfing" later in life, but never been proven. "Super Sand-Jackers" that eventually find out about lubrication and other less damaging forms of masturbation and abandon this practice are "Lapsed Sand-Jackers"
by ZStar930 January 2, 2011