Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx's definitions

Iraq war

The mass murder of Iraqis by the us for our damn oil.

Bush killed thousands in the Iraq war

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 13, 2020

Extramarital Affair

When one of the spouses gets a little too bored of their significant other, and their eyes start to wander.

Billy: "How could she DO this to me? How could she be with another man behind my back?!"

Jake: "But dude, don't you also have an Extramarital affair?"

Billy: "SHUT UP! That's not the point!"

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 10, 2020

Bail

One of the best part of America's justice system. The doctrine that, by default, you should be released from jail until given a fair trial. Usually you must pay money as leverage so you show up in court. Bail is one of the greatest parts of America's justice system, because it makes it so much easier to get a fair trial, work with attorneys, etc. and it also ensures that you won't spend months or years in jail only to be found not guilty of a crime. Unfortunately, many poor people can't afford to pay cash bail and sit in jail until trial, often for crimes they did not commit.

In America, if you rob a bank, you can bail out and go free until you have a fair trial. In China, if you criticize the government, you'll be arrested and held in jail for months or years, and you won't be given a fair trial.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx February 1, 2021

Your in-laws are coming to stay

Some of the worst news one can get. Literally makes you dread it for months.

Boss: You’re fired
Me: Damn
Bank: Your bank account has been frozen

Me: Shit!
Sister: hey did your wife tell you that your in-laws are coming to stay?
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 13, 2020

Global Warming

If you don’t believe in it, watch a video about Kiribati or Tuvalu or the Maldives. Rising seas are driving people out of their beloved countries. Soon, Florida and most of the US coast will go under. It’s not political, it’s a real problem. This is coming from a conservative, by the way.

Global warming is going to destroy humanity, society needs to get our head out of our ass and do something.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx December 21, 2020

Urinal Etiquette

Unwritten rules guys naturally follow when using urinals.

1. Use the farthest urinal from someone else that you possibly can.

2. Don’t use a middle urinal or an even number urinal unless there’s already people using the odd numbers or the end urinals. Avoid making people stand next to you

3. Farting is okay but keep it silent so no one knows who did it

4. Don’t piss on the floor

5. Don’t talk to other guys in there unless you’re telling them to give a courtesy flush

6. Don’t talk on the phone or eat while at a urinal

7. DO NOT pull your pants down to your ankles EVER! No one wants to see your hairy ass. Either piss through the zipper hole or pull your pants down a tiny bit in the front and let your dong pop out. No need to show us your ass.

8. Look straight at the wall while pissing.

9. Flush the urinal after you use it. No one wants to stare at your piss in the urinal while they piss.

I don’t understand how some fully grown men can’t grasp Urinal Etiquette.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 28, 2020

Car crash pickup

When you see your crush driving in front of you and you want her number so bad that you deliberately cause a car crash. You’ll need her number for insurance purposes, so it’s a guaranteed way to get her number.

My crush won’t give me her number, so i did a car crash pickup and got it myself.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 29, 2020