When you see your crush driving in front of you and you want her number so bad that you deliberately cause a car crash. You’ll need her number for insurance purposes, so it’s a guaranteed way to get her number.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 29, 2020
Get the Car crash pickup mug.A rural middle class worker who's neck is sunburnt from long hours working on a farm, hence the name redneck.
You know you're a redneck if:
You have a boat in your driveway even if you live 100 miles from the ocean and haven't moved it since you bought it.
You have 15 campers in your yard
You haven't mowed your lawn in 15 years
You have a beat up 1999 pickup truck with trump stickers all over it
You take up two or more parking spots when you park
Your dining room is full of dirty clothes
You disowned your gay son and your feminist daughter
You have 15 dui's but still somehow have your licence
You've been married 5 times and have many illegitimate children
You beat your wife until she threatens you with a gun
Your barn burned down because you left a burning cigar in it
You sit on the porch chainsmoking and chugging beers every night
All your kids are named after confederate war generals
You claim to love America but yet you fly a confederate flag
You're racist
You deny the Holocaust
You use public bathrooms to save on your water bill and toilet paper
You have an antenna up and watch pirated tv stations instead of buying cable
You live in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, or Missouri
Your kids don't go to school, instead they get a "real education" by working on your ranch
You claim to be a "real christian" despite being a pothead, alcoholic, and being divorced 5 times and disowning your kids
Your wife weighs more than your 20 kids combined
You have a boat in your driveway even if you live 100 miles from the ocean and haven't moved it since you bought it.
You have 15 campers in your yard
You haven't mowed your lawn in 15 years
You have a beat up 1999 pickup truck with trump stickers all over it
You take up two or more parking spots when you park
Your dining room is full of dirty clothes
You disowned your gay son and your feminist daughter
You have 15 dui's but still somehow have your licence
You've been married 5 times and have many illegitimate children
You beat your wife until she threatens you with a gun
Your barn burned down because you left a burning cigar in it
You sit on the porch chainsmoking and chugging beers every night
All your kids are named after confederate war generals
You claim to love America but yet you fly a confederate flag
You're racist
You deny the Holocaust
You use public bathrooms to save on your water bill and toilet paper
You have an antenna up and watch pirated tv stations instead of buying cable
You live in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, or Missouri
Your kids don't go to school, instead they get a "real education" by working on your ranch
You claim to be a "real christian" despite being a pothead, alcoholic, and being divorced 5 times and disowning your kids
Your wife weighs more than your 20 kids combined
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 09, 2020
Get the Redneck mug.When you say something or post something on the internet that you regret, and a bunch of people see it and you're embarrassed, you save yourself by saying you got hacked and it wasn't you who posted it. Luckily, this does occasionally happen, so it's a believable story, and no one can hold you accountable for what you said.
James: Posts: Man I'm having a shitty day I hope my boss dies! *regrets the post the next day*
Boss: James, why did you shit talk me on facebook?
James: I got hacked! Chill out!
Boss: James, why did you shit talk me on facebook?
James: I got hacked! Chill out!
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx September 18, 2020
Get the I got hacked! mug.The Rookie Cop who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. His boss, Derek Chauvin, murdered George Floyd right in front of him, but Mr. Lane, only on his 3rd day on the job, was unsure of what to do. He followed Mr Floyd into the ambulance and attempted CPR, to no avail.
Now he is facing aiding and abetting murder charges and may spend up to 40 years in prison. He is being wrongly accused of something he had no experience to control.
He currently is free on bail, but this might change on his March 3 trial date. I hope he wins the trial, because he truly was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Now he is facing aiding and abetting murder charges and may spend up to 40 years in prison. He is being wrongly accused of something he had no experience to control.
He currently is free on bail, but this might change on his March 3 trial date. I hope he wins the trial, because he truly was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Thomas Lane is the only innocent cop involved in George Floyd's death, the other three assholes are guilty.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 27, 2020
Get the Thomas Lane mug.The dickhead who murdered George Floyd and made all cops look like racist assholes when they, in fact, are not. He killed George Floyd on May 25, 2020, and was charged and arrested a week later. After spending 4 months in state prison, he was released on October 7 after posting a $1 million dollar bond. He is set to stand trial in March of 2021, but in all likelihood the case will be delayed now that he’s out on bail.
Do I think he’s racist? No. He married an Asian woman. I think he did the killing just because he was sick of dealing with crackheads. Again, not justifying or downplaying, just my inference. He’s still a murderer. Nonetheless, he’s a free man (at least for now)
Do I think he’s racist? No. He married an Asian woman. I think he did the killing just because he was sick of dealing with crackheads. Again, not justifying or downplaying, just my inference. He’s still a murderer. Nonetheless, he’s a free man (at least for now)
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx October 07, 2020
Get the Derek Chauvin mug.When you call someone a grown ass, you're basically calling them a grown up and telling them they need to start acting like one.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 09, 2020
Get the Grown Ass mug.When someone simply will not budge or admit wrongdoing, despite knowing very well that they're wrong and that fact being plain obvious. When someone is being extremely stubborn for no reason, especially for something relatively minor, they have a stick up their ass.
Dave: Son I want you to go pick three dandelions and bring them back to me, I can't because my back hurts.
Son: No dad, I don't want to.
Dave: oh come on you can't just do it, it's three flowers son.
Son: No, I don't feel like it, do it yourself
Dave: Son, why do you have a stick up your ass? It's such an easy and simple task that you'd already be done with if you didn't argue with me.
Son: No dad, I don't want to.
Dave: oh come on you can't just do it, it's three flowers son.
Son: No, I don't feel like it, do it yourself
Dave: Son, why do you have a stick up your ass? It's such an easy and simple task that you'd already be done with if you didn't argue with me.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 21, 2020
Get the Stick up your ass mug.