Here it is boys the formula that you have been waiting for. This simple calculation will tell you how many fingers you can fit into any woman's pussy.
The calculation:
Her shoe size + the number of kids she has minus the number of four-legged pets she has
Example shoe size 5 + 3 kids minus 0 four-legged pets = 8 fingers
Divide that by 2 to get the anal calculation
For reference women with big feet and multiple children have massive gaping beggars canyon like flanges and huge gaping arseholes
I wonder how big her pussy is? Simple just use the fanny fingering formula
Buy a
fanny fingering formula
mug!
My favourite kind of tits. The ones that look like slices of pizza 🍕 limp, floppy, flat, triangular in shape and only one piece of pepperoni right at the point of the triangle (the nipple)
I love to lift those skin flaps up by the nipple, so light and empty. I can fit a whole one in my mouth they are so soft and devoid of fat
Those tits are the dream. Like slices of heaven to me
Buy a
slices of heaven
mug!
Ugly Tits
Tits as ugly as Llamas
Look away she has Llama Lungs
Tits the same shape and length of a racoons tail that cling to the ribs like a thin rug
How was she? Great arse but she had racoons rib rugs and her box was like the mahove
Buy a
Racoons rib rugs
mug!
Her pussy is so dry it takes a full bottle of baby oil just to get it wet enough for you. She instigates sex but is all dried up. May as well be fucking her in the ass
I need to order more baby oil you boneyard bitch
Fuck off you small dick cunt would be her retort
Buy a
Boneyard Bitch
mug!
When his/her nostrils are so big you could fuck them
Really want to cum up those fostrils
Aka a pair of shoelaces aka zip ties
Use them on your tits to stop them touching your belly
Use rope or string or anything really. Even wear a bra if you have to
Her: Whats with the shoelaces?
You: I'm going to give you a hangers hoist
