84 definitions by Woody Thomas
A question posed by one lifelong St. Louis area native to another upon first meeting or after having recently met. The purpose is to learn if you and the other person have any mutual acquaintances.
Shelly: "Oh, you've lived in St. Louis all your life? Where'd you go to high school?"
Steve: "Pattonville"
Shelly: "Pattonville? Uh, let's see, do you know a guy named Mark Henderson?"
Steve: "Pattonville"
Shelly: "Pattonville? Uh, let's see, do you know a guy named Mark Henderson?"
by Woody Thomas November 27, 2009
The subject of conversation when talking to Ralph on the big white telephone, usually after having consumed beer, scotch, and wine the same evening.
Joe came out of the bathroom white as a ghost and sweating his ass off. He had been talking to Ralph about a Buick on the big white telephone.
by Woody Thomas January 27, 2006
The audience of a Grateful Dead show. A spoof (although not meant to be cruel) of "Jerry's Kids" for whom the Jerry Lewis telethon is held.
by Woody Thomas January 7, 2006
A final opportunity to accomplish something, usually after previous unsuccessful tries or else no previous opportunity at all.
by Woody Thomas May 26, 2007
by Woody Thomas January 8, 2006
by Woody Thomas January 8, 2006
A bit of folklore widely beleived to be real but that never actually happened.
Examples:
The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.
Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'
Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'
Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.
Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen
Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin
Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami
Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat
Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women
Examples:
The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.
Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'
Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'
Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.
Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen
Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin
Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami
Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat
Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women
by Woody Thomas August 23, 2007